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Thread: Here I am again 😭

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    157

    Here I am again 😭

    Am totally stuck in a spiral of HA again. The other day, I went to GP as I was worried about two largish freckles I had on my arm. The GP said they were nothing and not to worry.

    Now I am panicking over a mole on my stomach. It has been there for ages and is fairly large, and I think it stretched when I was pregnant (7 years ago). For some reason now I am obsessing about it. It is symmetrical, mostly one colour and fairly oval, and isn’t doing anything weird or worrying apart from being there. It is on the large size but doesn’t seem to be growing more than has been stetches along with my stretch marks lol!!

    I have looked at it 10000000s of times today and asked my family for reassurance.... and here I am again feeling sick, heart pounding, dooming and glooming.

    I spoke to my CBT person to talk about my new spiral yesterday and he has given me a couple of tasks to do but I am struggling so much to stop the worry.

    I want to go to the gp to get it checked but am scared I’ll get a skin cancer referral. Also I went 2 days ago so obviously I’ll seem mad (I probably already am mad to them). I don’t feel I can ignore it as it could be something (or nothing). Should I go for peace of mind? I am currently focusing on statistics being favourable if sc caught early.... and trying not to worry about it being advanced

    I am so tired of this HA, it started last year when both my parents were diagnosed with cancer (both doing really well thank god) and then my sister in law died from cancer at Christmas, and I just feel like it is cancer everywhere so I must have it too. Not rational I know but I am way past rational at this point.

    What do I do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    157

    Re: Here I am again 😭

    I am sure that I am reassurance seeking but I have to go to the drs for thismole. I can’t rationalise and have convinced myself of the worst. I have had an awful night worrying, without much sleep and i feel like I might throw up at any minute. I know I need to challenge my thinking but I am struggling so much and have another week yet till my CBT appt.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    78

    Re: Here I am again 😭

    HI Flappergirl
    I had a mole on my arm some years ago that was quite far round my arm so it wasnt easy for me to see. I panicked about it and took it to gp who said didnt think it was anything to worry about but if i wanted i could have it removed. I opted for that and the procedure wasnt that bad and totally took away my fear about what it was.#

    Maybe that could be an option?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    612

    Re: Here I am again 😭

    Quote Originally Posted by flappergirl View Post
    Am totally stuck in a spiral of HA again. The other day, I went to GP as I was worried about two largish freckles I had on my arm. The GP said they were nothing and not to worry.

    Now I am panicking over a mole on my stomach. It has been there for ages and is fairly large, and I think it stretched when I was pregnant (7 years ago). For some reason now I am obsessing about it. It is symmetrical, mostly one colour and fairly oval, and isn’t doing anything weird or worrying apart from being there. It is on the large size but doesn’t seem to be growing more than has been stetches along with my stretch marks lol!!

    I have looked at it 10000000s of times today and asked my family for reassurance.... and here I am again feeling sick, heart pounding, dooming and glooming.

    I spoke to my CBT person to talk about my new spiral yesterday and he has given me a couple of tasks to do but I am struggling so much to stop the worry.

    I want to go to the gp to get it checked but am scared I’ll get a skin cancer referral. Also I went 2 days ago so obviously I’ll seem mad (I probably already am mad to them). I don’t feel I can ignore it as it could be something (or nothing). Should I go for peace of mind? I am currently focusing on statistics being favourable if sc caught early.... and trying not to worry about it being advanced

    I am so tired of this HA, it started last year when both my parents were diagnosed with cancer (both doing really well thank god) and then my sister in law died from cancer at Christmas, and I just feel like it is cancer everywhere so I must have it too. Not rational I know but I am way past rational at this point.

    What do I do?
    You had it for 7 years. That means the following - if it were cancer, you would have been dead long ago, because no one could survive untreated cancer for 7 years.

    Therefore, it is completely benign. Of course, if it bothers you or you want it removed for cosmetic reason, you can do that as well - it is a fairly simple, painless procedure that lasts 10 minutes and requires no recovery apart from wearing stitches for a week or so.
    __________________
    To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.

    Margaret Thatcher

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    157

    Re: Here I am again 😭

    Thank you both. I did have an appt for GP today but had to cancel as got stuck in traffic. Maybe a Friday appt is not a good idea anyway. I will try next week and in the meantime will try to not worry. I have had the mole for ages and I think it hasn’t changed much apart from stretching a bit following pregnancy. I just re-noticed it and then fell down a rabbit hole of anxiety🙄 Apart from it being large, it doesn’t fit any of the red flags re shape colour etc but I will ask GP to sort out getting it removed and then it will be a worry gone!!

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