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Thread: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

  1. #1
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    Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    I have been on ESA for the past 2 and a half years for various MH problems, mainly CPTSD, OCD, panic attacks and anxiety. I have been in the support group since my assessment two years ago. During the last assessment, I wasn't in therapy as I was still on the waiting list and in some ways I was better then than I am now and some ways I was worse.


    Nowadays I am in intensive therapy - Compassion Focused Therapy and more ERP after that and I also attend a MH cooking group to try and build up my confidence being around people.


    I haven't been doing good lately both in my personal life and MH. A lot of bad traits such as self harming have came back, dark thoughts etc. I have been feeling like this for a few months and then I got the dreaded ESA50 form and my psychologist wrote to DWP to try and get me out of a medical or at least a home visit but both have been refused and they wanted me to go for a medical this week after only giving 7 days notice but my therapist told me to reschedule it and I have one for 23rd June now and she is writing more letters for me and has urged me to go to my GP to get a letter from them. Trouble is, I switched GP last year and havent been to the new one for MH problems, just little health things like sore throat, psoriasis etc so I don't know if that will be worthwhile plus I feel cheeky asking them for help which leads to an increase in my negative thoughts which lead onto SH. Psychiatrist (who I am no longer seeing) recommended a year or so ago that I start Clomipramine but I decided to go down just the therapy road but now I am considering both roads but my psychologist wants to wait until I am at a more stable place to start them.



    I am barely eating, multiple panic attacks a day, hardly sleeping because my checking is worse at night, I am moody and distant, not going to my cooking group or going out in general etc. I don't know how the hell to cope until 23rd but then even after that, I will have weeks of worry left for the decision. I just feel very, very overwhelmed


    Sorry for this, it sounds very melodramatic and ranty, I just don't know what to do any more. ESA is the most important thing atm given that it is my only source of income but then there is just everything else on top of it too let alone my conditions.


    How did you guys stay calm during upcoming medicals or re-assessments?


    Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read
    __________________
    C-PTSD (Complex Trauma), OCD, Panic Disorder, GAD



    "Save your sympathy for someone else. I don't need it or want it. What you call a panic attack is merely a few normal chemicals that are temporarily out of place in my brain. It is of no significance whatsoever to me!"

    "Recovery always lies ahead - however painful the moment"

    "Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid"

    Dr Claire Weekes.

  2. #2
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    Re: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra1980 View Post
    I got a paperbased assessment first time so wasn't expecting a f2f on reassessment but I realised I had left info I had left out of my form after I posted it so got an appointment through,they told me to get a letter from my gp for a home visit but I didn't need the stress so I decided there was no point in getting my self into a state about it because I had no choice but to go and I knew I could take diazepam on the day.

    Just try and accept that you have no control over it and you need to go and if you need to ask your doctor to give you something to calm you down just for the assessment.
    Thanks for the advice. How did your reassessment go? If you don't mind me asking. Did you get ESA again?
    __________________
    C-PTSD (Complex Trauma), OCD, Panic Disorder, GAD



    "Save your sympathy for someone else. I don't need it or want it. What you call a panic attack is merely a few normal chemicals that are temporarily out of place in my brain. It is of no significance whatsoever to me!"

    "Recovery always lies ahead - however painful the moment"

    "Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid"

    Dr Claire Weekes.

  3. #3
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    Re: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    Unfortunately I had a bad assessor who told lies left things out and twisted my words but I was lucky when the decision maker called to tell me my claim was closed I questioned him and he said he would look at my claim again,he hadn't read my evidence first time but when he did he put me back in support group,try not to worry to much as most of the assessors are good I was just unlucky to get a bad one.
    I will be going through it again soon enough I was due to be reassessed on may 24th but haven't got my form yet so hopefully I've got some extra time added on like they did with my first claim.

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    Re: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    The dreaded brown envelopes always turn my blood to stone, the thoughtless stress they cause with the questionable process doesn't do anything but create deeper mental mayhem, some have plenty to deal with getting through another week breathing and trying to stay afloat, I feel abysmal if I even attempt something positive over the course of a month, I feel like I should be shot by the government each time I stumble across a piece of happyness lol. We don't need the threats looming perpetually, it's awful, I don't know why somebody would choose to be at the mercy of these companies. You have my sympathies as I know what it's like. They barely listen to external opinion I have found, I hope they take notice of your therapist's words but you might have to go through the whole wringer until they try and understand it from your side.
    __________________
    ''...an utter depression of soul which I can compare to no earthly sensation more properly than to the after-dream of the reveller upon opium - the bitter lapse into everyday life, the hideous dropping off of the veil. There was an iciness, a sinking, a sickening of the heart, an unredeemed dreariness of thought which no goading of the imagination could torture into aught of the sublime.''

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    Re: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    Quote Originally Posted by Confetti View Post
    The dreaded brown envelopes always turn my blood to stone, the thoughtless stress they cause with the questionable process doesn't do anything but create deeper mental mayhem, some have plenty to deal with getting through another week breathing and trying to stay afloat, I feel abysmal if I even attempt something positive over the course of a month, I feel like I should be shot by the government each time I stumble across a piece of happyness lol. We don't need the threats looming perpetually, it's awful, I don't know why somebody would choose to be at the mercy of these companies. You have my sympathies as I know what it's like. They barely listen to external opinion I have found, I hope they take notice of your therapist's words but you might have to go through the whole wringer until they try and understand it from your side.
    Thanks for your reply
    Last week my panic and everything reached its peak (or at least I hope it was the peak!) and I harmed myself and called NHS24 who referred me to the crisis team. In all the years of having MH problems, its the first time I have dealt with that team. They weren't the most helpful tbh but did set up an emergency GP appt for me the following morning. I saw the GP who referred me urgently back to psychiatry and was told I would get a phone call within a day or 2 with either an appt or a recommendation from my old psychiatrist saying he wants me on the same meds he recommended in 2016. That was a week today since the GP appt and I haven't heard a peep. Don't know who to call to chase up the referral.


    Last Tues I submitted evidence to the DWP medical team. My local job centre faxed it through to them so they would get them quicker and I got a call confirming that they received them on Wednesday. I submitted 2 letters from my psychologist, my psychiatrist report from 2016, a testimonial from my husband who is essentially my carer and the GP I saw printed out the actual urgent referral letter he sent to psychiatry. I was told I would hear back from the medical team if it was enough evidence to get me out of the medical but surprise, surprise - I haven't heard anything. My husband is going to call up later today to see if its enough to get me out of the medical or at least see if my evidence has been considered.


    My medical is this Saturday. I am absolutely dreading but I am more so dreading the outcome. I don't expect to pass again.
    __________________
    C-PTSD (Complex Trauma), OCD, Panic Disorder, GAD



    "Save your sympathy for someone else. I don't need it or want it. What you call a panic attack is merely a few normal chemicals that are temporarily out of place in my brain. It is of no significance whatsoever to me!"

    "Recovery always lies ahead - however painful the moment"

    "Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid"

    Dr Claire Weekes.

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    Re: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    Quote Originally Posted by GingerFish View Post
    Thanks for your reply
    Last week my panic and everything reached its peak (or at least I hope it was the peak!) and I harmed myself and called NHS24 who referred me to the crisis team. In all the years of having MH problems, its the first time I have dealt with that team. They weren't the most helpful tbh but did set up an emergency GP appt for me the following morning. I saw the GP who referred me urgently back to psychiatry and was told I would get a phone call within a day or 2 with either an appt or a recommendation from my old psychiatrist saying he wants me on the same meds he recommended in 2016. That was a week today since the GP appt and I haven't heard a peep. Don't know who to call to chase up the referral.


    Last Tues I submitted evidence to the DWP medical team. My local job centre faxed it through to them so they would get them quicker and I got a call confirming that they received them on Wednesday. I submitted 2 letters from my psychologist, my psychiatrist report from 2016, a testimonial from my husband who is essentially my carer and the GP I saw printed out the actual urgent referral letter he sent to psychiatry. I was told I would hear back from the medical team if it was enough evidence to get me out of the medical but surprise, surprise - I haven't heard anything. My husband is going to call up later today to see if its enough to get me out of the medical or at least see if my evidence has been considered.


    My medical is this Saturday. I am absolutely dreading but I am more so dreading the outcome. I don't expect to pass again.
    You're genuinely not well, GingerFish; you're not making all this up. You have professionals on your side so trust psychologist's advice and ask husband to chase up decision. Also, make sure your husband points out (in writing if necessary) that all this is having a serious effect on your mental health and potentially triggering SH behaviour.

    There is NOTHING you should feel guilty about. You are doing your best to stay afloat and need all the support and advice available to you.

    Wishing you a positive outcome.
    __________________
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    Never Surrender, Comrade

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    Re: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    Quote Originally Posted by KK77 View Post
    You're genuinely not well, GingerFish; you're not making all this up. You have professionals on your side so trust psychologist's advice and ask husband to chase up decision. Also, make sure your husband points out (in writing if necessary) that all this is having a serious effect on your mental health and potentially triggering SH behaviour.

    There is NOTHING you should feel guilty about. You are doing your best to stay afloat and need all the support and advice available to you.

    Wishing you a positive outcome.
    Thanks for your reply it means a lot


    My husband called up the assessment team and they confirmed they received my evidence on Thursday and my evidence is still being considered for whether or not I need the medical. They told us to call the day before the medical to get the decision confirmed! Hate being in limbo and not knowing where I stand but I am just preparing myself for the medical and then if I don't have to go to the medical, it will be a nice surprise. Will keep you all posted.
    __________________
    C-PTSD (Complex Trauma), OCD, Panic Disorder, GAD



    "Save your sympathy for someone else. I don't need it or want it. What you call a panic attack is merely a few normal chemicals that are temporarily out of place in my brain. It is of no significance whatsoever to me!"

    "Recovery always lies ahead - however painful the moment"

    "Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid"

    Dr Claire Weekes.

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    Re: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    Quote Originally Posted by GingerFish View Post
    Thanks for the advice. How did your reassessment go? If you don't mind me asking. Did you get ESA again?
    I went from support group to 0 points because the assessor didn't have a clue what my evidence meant(and told lies and twisted my words) but when the decision maker read it he put me back in support group.Dont worry to much about the assessor most of them are good I just got unlucky.

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    Re: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    Hi,
    I was just wondering how you are?
    I will say that if you do have a medical ask for a copy of the report and when I went to my PIP assessment the lady lied on it and I have proof so I am doing a mandatory reconsideration.

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    Re: Struggling with upcoming ESA re-assessment

    Hi everyone, I have good news. I got a call on Tuesday from the assessment team saying that I don't have to attend the medical due to them having enough evidence. huge weight off my shoulders! They have recommended I apply for PIP next
    __________________
    C-PTSD (Complex Trauma), OCD, Panic Disorder, GAD



    "Save your sympathy for someone else. I don't need it or want it. What you call a panic attack is merely a few normal chemicals that are temporarily out of place in my brain. It is of no significance whatsoever to me!"

    "Recovery always lies ahead - however painful the moment"

    "Recovery lies in the places and experiences you avoid"

    Dr Claire Weekes.

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