A message of hope

[cherryolivia]

Hi everyone! If you have followed along with my previous posts, it has been sort of a rough go of things with my journey through anxiety and depression. I tried for years to self manage and self medicate with alcohol but it only made the situation worse.

I spent the last two years not drinking or taking benzos to get myself back to "normal", but my anxiety was still there. After suffering from an ectopic pregnancy last year, my anxiety/depression and agoraphobia went through the roof. I was in the emergency room every month with a new symptom or illness, I lost two jobs within six months and started to isolate from everyone and everything.

The beginning of April, I found myself thinking more and more about suicide and the downward spiral began. I prayed to God to give me some relief from my problems as I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not even 24 hours later, I (by the grace of God) was able to see a psychiatrist who finally gave me the right diagnosis of OCD with GAD/Depression. I was put on a week of 10 MG prozac followed by 20 MG.

The past 60 days have been so difficult as my anxiety got worse, I sat on the toilet for hours on end and slept more *and less* than I ever have in my life. I frequented this site for any advice on my ailments or side affects only to get the message of "DONT STOP THE MEDS!! KEEP GOING".. And I did.

For those of you going through that right now, all I can say is.. DONT STOP THE MEDS I was very reluctant on staying on because I hate side effects, but the past week I have noticed more of a difference than I ever have. I literally climbed a mountain two days ago, by myself.. went shopping, out to eat, visited old friends. All the while being able to manage my thoughts, feelings and anxiety. I finally feel like who I am meant to be thanks to prozac. I know everyone is different and it may not work for some, but all I can say is please don't give up.

I woke up Monday morning with a new zest for life. Medicine combined with therapy has literally saved my life and I could not be more thankful. Please let me know if you have any specific questions about my journey or side effects.

[hsmith]

Hi, posts like this are really helpful for me at the minute. I came off citalopram (too quickly under poor advice from a GP) earlier this year and suffered terrible discontinuation syndrome- anxiety, depression, dpdr plus all the physical effects of withdrawal. I stuck it out for nearly 3 months, hoping for improvement but my anxiety and depression got so bad I ended up in a&e feeling suicidal. So I've been started on fluoxetine (day 19), the first few days I suffered tiredness and nausea but nothing I couldn't cope with and by day 5/6 that awful morning anxiety/dread you have on waking had gone!! I was like 'thank god!!!!' Anyway skip to day 16 and I woke during the night with really severe side effects, sweating, diarrhoea, nausea, anxiety. Luckily I'd got some diazepam and managed to settle it down only to wake 3 hours later exactly the same. I started thinking why is this happening after the initial improvement? Maybe it doesn't suit me? I've finally managed to speak to my GP today who has said side effects are common at the 2-3 week stage, try ride it out. The morning anxiety is back and I feel like I've had the rug pulled out from under me again. I'm going to persevere as I'm sure I'll start to feel the benefits as time passes but everyday...every second is a struggle. Will I ever feel myself again? Feel like I've forgotten what normal feels like :(

[cherryolivia]

I know how hard it is. I almost stopped at the same time period you are at right now.. but I kept on because Prozac is one of the slowest SSRI’s to build up in the system. You are still working your way up to a therapeutic dose so patience is key. During the 2-3 mark I barely left the house.. but it will get better I promise. I initially felt amazing as well then hit the low point. I never thought I would get better and I’m almost 80% there already. Positive thinking is key!! Persevere!

[hsmith]

It's so cruel that you feel that initial improvement. After the hell of the last three months it was such welcome relief. Not saying I felt loads better but just that relief of the awful morning anxiety felt like a step in the right direction only to go backwards!! I've not had any more sweating episodes and not had the diarrhoea again but i darent speak too soon. I'm needing diazepam to keep on top of things but trying to use lowest possible dose 1mg twice a day. The anxiety feels like I've been injected with adrenaline as soon as I wake up!! Feel wired. The only thing I can say is I am sleeping well at night. Nausea still bad, just eating small meals when I fancy it. Day 21 today...lets see what this week holds ��

[Tommo1980]

If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend this thread:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=157003

Though I'm not taking flouxetine I found it an inspiring read when I was starting up on my current AD.

Tommo x

[hsmith]

Yes Ive been reading that, it's very helpful. The doctor did warn me it might be a bumpy ride. When you feel so awful psychologically and then with all the physical side effects on top you just want to fast forward those first few weeks/months. I'm so frightened I've caused irreversible damage by messing with my meds :(

[cherryolivia]

Just wanted to check in to see how you’re feeling!?

[hsmith]

Well the severe sweating and diarrhoea has stopped, still having awful morning anxiety and nausea. I'm taking pepto bismol to try settle my tummy and needing diazepam to keep on top of the anxiety. Not seeing any benefits as yet. I've been at Rock bottom so can't expect to feel amazing in the 3rd week. Can't believe I ended up here rom
Coming off citalopram too quickly. Anxiety, depression and depersonalisation like I've never experienced :( thank you for checking in. Feel like I've forgotten what normal feels like

[cherryolivia]

You are in the deep end now.. but will slowly start coming back up to the surface. I promise you it is worth the waiting game.. it took almost a full 6.5/7 for me. Also it really helps if you take it at the same time everyday. For me it took a while to figure out but later afternoon around 3 or 4 works best to curb insomnia and early fatigue.

Stay positive!! Feel free to reach out to me anytime you are feeling low 🤗

[rockhopper1981]

Cherryolivia is spot on. I now take mine in the evening which seems to help with some of the side effects. Now the only real side effect I have is delayed ejaculation and some tiredness. However, I am still waiting for the drug to stabilise my anxiety. I did 10 weeks on 20 mg and coming up to 8 weeks on 40mg now. Good days and bad, but have had a week of morning anxiety back now. However, I have read that with a dose increase it can be like starting again so maybe I need to give it 12 weeks!

All i can say is that the side effects really do go away and this makes a huge difference. It is then whether the drug works for you at helping your depression/anxiety. I will have to get back to you on this one!