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Thread: Social anxiety around large groups of friends

  1. #1

    Extreme fear of very popular friends

    Okay guys so ironically I’m actually quite popular person on my course at university, as strange as it sounds. I have this one dude who’s very very popular, whom is even more well known on the course than me. He’s a cool guy but for some reason I can’t help but feel extremely anxious and paranoid over the fact that he could ruin my reputation at any moment or secound he wants because he has everyone on his side. I would often hear his name ringing in my head and even see his LinkedIn profile picture in my head.

    I don’t know what to do. I can’t exactly call the guy out on his social status because it’s too weird or embarrassing, but at the same time I’ve got to address somehow in some way. Are there any sort of books or reading I could learn from to help me develop ways to become more accustomed to certain groups of people, regardless of social status or popularity. Any suggestions would be great.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    27,320

    Re: Extreme fear of very popular friends

    Why do you feel the need to call him out on his status? Why can't you both just be popular? And why do you feel he would use his popularity to undermine yours?

    If you want some reading material then I guess other than the normal anxiety type resources you could look towards books regarding Status Anxiety. These address the common need to always look good to the world, when much of that is shallow as those who are interested are shallow enough to easily stray to the next bright shiny thing that catches their attention.
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    1,485

    Re: Extreme fear of very popular friends

    Can you look at why you might feel threatened?
    Why are you in competition with him?
    What are you afraid of exactly? Is this a rational fear?
    Are you in secure friendships with people, or are they superficial? Does this matter to you? Would it make you feel better to be in more secure friendships?
    Do you think it would make you feel less competitive with him if you had a shared 'enemy' (eg a football team or a lecturer)?

  4. #4

    Re: Extreme fear of very popular friends

    Quote Originally Posted by MyNameIsTerry View Post
    Why do you feel the need to call him out on his status? Why can't you both just be popular? And why do you feel he would use his popularity to undermine yours?

    If you want some reading material then I guess other than the normal anxiety type resources you could look towards books regarding Status Anxiety. These address the common need to always look good to the world, when much of that is shallow as those who are interested are shallow enough to easily stray to the next bright shiny thing that catches their attention.
    Thanks for the reply. I definitely see where your coming from and I’ll definately see your viewpoints to look past this mental barrier of having an anxious fear around popular people. I am definately looking to go through some reading material to help self better myself both personally and mentally.

  5. #5

    Social anxiety around large groups of friends

    Hey guys, usually I feel comfortable with socialising with people on a one-to-one basis but I feel extremely awkward around large gatherings of friends in social situations. I just feel too anxious to speak and would often switch off and remain quiet through the whole conversation. This leaves me to be left out and excluded from my friendship group and makes me feel as if I have no friends.

    I am trying to self better myself both personally and mentally. I am wondering if there is any sort of books or readings I could look at to learn ways of being more comfortable with speaking around large social gatherings. I have improved my social anxiety somewhat over the years but i feel as if there is a lot of big room for me to develop myself.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    Re: Social anxiety around large groups of friends

    Hi

    This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

    Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.


    It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.

    Elen
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