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Thread: 6 months tonight

  1. #1

    6 months tonight

    Hi Everyone, I am a newbie. Thank you all for your replies. I guess why I'm posting is because I have not left my home in almost six months. The last time was in January, late evening, to look at Christmas lights...I did pretty good. Tonight I asked my husband too take me around the neighborhood for awhie, I wanted to drop off some magazines to my friend and neighbor, I have not seen in eight months,we talk on the phone since Im still missing six teeth and get very nervous I have really isolated. I'm SO very scared to go out. I am even shaking thinking about it. It will be dark, and I wil be not noticed, and I know my and neighbor will be nice and not judge me..I am still scard I kno w I am afraid I will fail. My husband is so very angry with me...the only time he speaks is too complain about me, or criticize m or yell at me. he is mad Im not getting better and he is angry Im in bed a lot sleeping...the problem us thats the Only way I can avoid my chronic pain and panic and long as I am sleeping...but when awake I am a mess. But in my heart I do know sleeping your life away is not the answer or even healthy. Only way I can cope.

    Please wish me luck tonight..and prayyers I can. Leave my house in the dark for at least a few minutes. Did anyone else sleep all the time too avoid this disorder and hell it brings. Life has git to be more than fear, chronic pain, crying everyday and sleeping. Did anyone ever di this and get better. I know the fact I cant walk is hindering recovery...and my teeth...trying too find a mobile dentist for my partials. I feel like Im deteriorate ing and dying each day...i am 56 is it too late? I so want to recover for my son, he is special needs. Thank you all for listening. I hope I can post back later I left my home with any panic or passing out or making a fool of myself.thank you,, Franchesca.

    ---------- Post added at 20:30 ---------- Previous post was at 20:27 ----------

    Please forgive typos...I am very shaky..thanks.

  2. #2

    Re: 6 months tonight

    Thank you so much Raindrops for your very encouraging post. I get so darned scared and depressed sometimes. I actually DID IT! Was able to go around my neighborhood for about 15 minutes. I was shaky but as we got going the cool breeze helped and we took my son along. Believe it or not the worst part was getting into the truck...the high step....I have a badly torn meniscus in knee, Searing pain from knee but no panic! I am happy I did it...want to do it again..I know through it was dark, no one hardly out, and problem is the daytime.heat,sun, heavy traffic , people...etc...thats where and when it comes full force. The light hurts y eyes terribly even with sunglasses on. And my dental problem how bad it looks.

    I wish my husband and I could talk better....I think he is tired of grocery shopping...and doing more....he did seem a little happier with me tonight...maye cause I tried harder....but he is right when he says I have to go out during the day...dentists and doctors are not open at nine o'clock (how I wish they were) Its almost like I have "severe daytime/daylight agoraphobia. I prefer the darkness, I use to love the sun. Both the anxiety and chronic pain makes me dizzy. A double whammy.

    Thank you for prayingfor me raindrops..I am so grateful. Its wonderful too hear that your agoraphobia has gotten so much better!�� This is probably the worst I ever had it..before at least I could go to Dr. and therapist. I am praying now Raindrops if not for complete and total healing for at least a reduction of it..."partial healing" just to function and feel human again...I could live with that, just less pain and fear. Thank you, I wish you many blessings. Franchesca.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2014

    Re: 6 months tonight

    After reading this, I had no doubts that you would do it.
    You had already made up your mind that you was going to do this and it Is the mind that is controlling you and keeping you a Prisoner.
    Like Raindrops, I too have been a Prisoner of anxiety and still working my way out of a relapse.
    But, hey, I drove the car for the first time in over 2 years!
    Take small steps and build up your confidence.
    And well done!!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2016

    Re: 6 months tonight

    Franchesca Well done It's all about baby steps which you are doing you stepped out of your comfort zone, but it will get easier each time you do it the panic attacks will get less and less Recovery is about getting to place where you can manage your MH it seems like you are aiming in the right direction, so again great work on your behalf keep it going and more updates please. ATB
    Consider The bad times as down payment for the good times! Hang on in there

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2018

    Re: 6 months tonight

    All about the babysteps, I am agoraphobic, I can leave the house sometimes, my hubby has been doing the shopping, however what I do is when I can go out I go with him and sit in the car, I take my dog along who is my emotional support animal, or I take my kindle and I read and I people watch. I am sorry that your husband doesn't understand, and it partly sounds like you have depression as well, I know there are some dentists, who if you tell them your situation and your issue will give you a late appointment, I am not sure where you are at in the states, I am in California and there are dentist that are open late or will come in after hours, I found one here where I live, I had to google it, but yeah try that, glad you were able to go to your neighbors, I couldn't leave the house for months and months and I finally started doing baby steps, I was able to go into a book store and look around, know how I did it? I just focused on what I wanted to browse for, and I made myself not even notice the other people there at all, I even, struck up a conversation with someone about books. I wish you luck, and have you thought about going to therapy and having your husband come along, my husband used to tell me, you should be done with this by now, until he started going to therapy with me and sitting in on my sessions he now knows and understands and knows that I may never get 100 percent better.
    One day at a time

  6. #6

    Re: 6 months tonight

    Thank you all above who replied to me it really meant a lot. I am very happy and proud I managed a baby step. However I think getting in and out of the truck hurt my bad leg. I had so much pain since a few hours after I Did it. I dont want the fear of pain to stop me from doing again, so I'm going to try and find a affordable stool with handle, because I would like to do it again. All your warm encourging responses made it all the better! Thank you. To all of you.

    Today unfortunately was not the best of days. The leg and knee pain was brutal and I felt dizzy and queasy all day...sometimes its so difficult to distinguish the physical from emotional . Its such a hard battle and I get very depressed, but I will try to keep going.. I'm going to try to sleep now for awhile now, it helps the nausea and pain. So grateful to all who have helped me..than you again. All your advice and help, prayers and warmth. It makes me fell so not very alone. Thanks.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2018

    Re: 6 months tonight

    Aww I am sorry you are having issues, perhaps hubby should think of getting a vehicle that is easier for you to get in and out of, if you can, or get a step ladder.
    One day at a time

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