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Thread: Mirt Diary

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
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    283

    Mirt Diary

    Hi,

    As these sort of things help me, I thought I would do one. Any comments, support, advice etc gratefully received.

    Brief background: 38 year old male - struggled with GAD/Social anxiety and depression all my life. Never as extreme as some of you on here, and I have never been hospitalised or anything for it, but it has been very tough at times. I was on Prozac twice - once for 5 years and once, after a couple of year's break, for 6 years. Never had much in the way of issues coming off and on - some mild side effects, but nothing unbearable. Came off Prozac in August 2016 as felt I was doing ok (classic mistake). In Feb 2017 I accepted the fact that I was not coping well (particularly with anxiety) and decided to go back on Prozac. Unfortunately my body decided not to allow that and went nuts - massively increased anxiety, uncontrollable shaking, insomnia etc etc. So got switched to Citalopram, and that was just as horrible. After about 6 months of all this, I decided to come off everything as the side effects were just getting worse. Used exercise and meditation etc and managed eventually to get myself to the point where I was operating at about 6 out of 10 on a daily basis.

    But I also found that this daily struggle to maintain that not-that-great state was starting to increase the depression...And I started to get increased insomnia etc - probably slept an average of 4-5 hours for the past year, and in April and May this year it was probably about 2-3.

    So in the end I decided to try something else. My mum is on Mirtazapine and it seems to work ok for her, so I thought I would give it a try. If it works for me, I plan on staying on it long term at as low a dose as possible. I am aware of the weight gain potential, but I am in decent shape and am hopeful that regular exercise and keeping an eye on my intake will help keep it down.

    Day 1

    15mg taken at 9.30pm. It did not seem to knock me out like it did for some. I was still awake at 11am and, when I finally slept my sleep was very broken (thought I partly blame my 6 year old son who came in because he had a bad dream!).

    Day 2

    Woke at about 8-9am and dozed a bit. Felt very groggy and fuzzy - very sleepy and out of it/detached. No real anxiety or anything though. Feels like I have taken a Nytol or Night Nurse during the day and am trying to stay awake. Almost like being a little stoned too. Strange sensation when I had to run at one point like little rushes of electricity up from my feet through my legs from the impact when they hit the ground. Very odd. Not particularly unpleasant, just odd.
    I went for a decent walk to get out of the house. A bit low in the evening, but not too bad.
    15mg taken at 9.15pm.
    A bit of restless legs when trying to get to sleep (which was something I also had on the prozac) - again did not pass out or anything, but probably fell asleep around 11pm and seemed to sleep through with only some minor wake-ups. Seem to remember by dreams more than usual (I rarely remember them at all usually).

    Day 3

    Woke around 8-9 again - felt ok. Still a bit groggy/fuzzy, but less than yesterday. Very mild headache and slight ringing in ears, but otherwise fine. No real anxiety or depression. I tried thinking about things that normally make me anxious, and it was almost as though they were further away somehow - somewhere lower down - and could not get the traction they needed to ramp up and get going.
    I was almost a little hyper at certain points - though that may be more to do with having had some sleep at last and being cautiously optimistic about these meds.
    I had a party in the evening for my mother-in-law's birthday - though I did not drink - I was able to engage and talk to people etc
    Pill taken at 9.45 while still at the party - I started to feel a little odd by around 10.30 so went home (felt like I was slightly slurring my words etc).
    Some mild restless legs in bed, but seemed to fall asleep relatively quickly.

    Day 4

    Bad nights sleep due to son waking up multiple times, but I managed to fall back asleep each time (which I would not have been able to do previously). Felt quite low and depressed - negative thoughts (but not as bad as many times in the past) - sluggish and foggy and groggy. However, again, the fog was not quite as bad as the day before.
    Pill taken at 9pm.
    Restless legs from around 10-11pm when trying to sleep, but eventually I fell asleep and slept through. Again, I could remember my dreams and they seemed more vivid.

    Day 5

    Woke around 7am by my alarm as I am back at work today and had to take my son to school. Felt ok - no anxiety and no real depression - still a bit groggy and still have that strange feeling in my head - almost like my centre of balance is slightly off. If I move my head quickly from side to side it makes me dizzy and it almost feels like I can actually feel my brain sliding around in my skull.
    However - while this is all weird, it is not that unpleasant. And compared to anxiety it is a walk in the park.
    I know that it is very early days and things could go rapidly downhill, but I am hopefully that if the grogginess etc keeps fading, this could work.
    I am at work right now so keeping my finger's crossed all goes fine. I am a lawyer so attention to detail is important, which means I will just have to triple check everything today as I am sure I am not totally with it!
    Slightly upset stomach.
    Also some slight anxiety/fear rising a little this morning. Almost like I felt it, and then got frightened that I was feeling it which meant these drugs were not going to work and I would be back to square 1 etc...silly I know, particularly as it is early days. But certainly feeling a little fearful.

    Anxiety increased by mid-morning - not feeling good at all - it may be in part because I am at work, and things are a little slow today so I don't have much to do but sit at my desk and fester. But I am feeling pretty anxious and the addition of the dizzy/grogginess and strange head sensations from the Mirt is making it worse as I am anxious about those too.

    Felt a bit better as day went on - less groggy and less anxious
    Last edited by anxiousjomo; 18-06-18 at 13:16.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
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    283

    Re: Mirt Diary

    Carrying on day 5:

    Got upset stomach around 4pm, but was ok emotionally and physically in the evening.
    Pill taken at 9pm - took until about midnight to fall asleep and had some heartburn

    Day 6

    Woke around 7am
    Less groggy but emotionally low - however I felt a lot better as the day went on (particularly after going to the gym) - no anxiety and mood much better in the afternoon and evening. Slight headache and a little dizzy when standing up at times
    Pill at 9pm
    no restless legs, but took a while to fall asleep

    Day 7
    Slept until 7am with a few wakes in the night - bit groggy, but less so than previous. Still a little light headed. Mood fine. Slightly upset stomach, but I had IBS in the morning prior to taking pill.
    Seem to have put on about 2lbs already - I can see why, as it is very easy to snack and overeat. I don't seem to feel full/satisfied quite as quickly. However, this is easy to manage it I keep an eye on it.
    Am at work now writing this and feel about relatively Ok with it. Still feel like if I close my eyes I could easily fall asleep though

    Felt better as day went on - positive and good mood in afternoon with no anxiety. Maybe a little groggy, but nothing important. Still a little concerned about the weight gain point, but will try and keep regularly exercising and keeping control of the snacking. At the end of the day I would rather be a couple of pounds overweight and happy, instead of skinny, anxious and depressed! (but that is easier for me to say as a guy (and one who is already happily married with kids etc so not having to date and all the rest!) )
    Last edited by anxiousjomo; 20-06-18 at 16:16. Reason: added rest of day

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    469

    Re: Mirt Diary

    Hi Jomo,
    I am following your diary and wish you the best with this medication. I took it for approximately a year about five years ago. I seem to be very sensitive to medications, but I got on quite well with this one. The only problem I had, (apart from the start up groggy feelings) was that at the 9 month mark I started to experience flu like symptoms. I tapered down and they disappeared, then tried reintroducing the mirt a couple of times and got the same issues. I eventually came off it altogether, but at that time I was ready to do so. I think I got a rare side effect called agranulocytosis which means that your white blood cells are affected which can affect your immune system. I must stress that's a very rare side effect.

    I've looked up some of your previous posts and like you I've been rocking in the boat about starting a antidepressant again. Some days I feel fine and feel I can hack it without them, but I feel I'm going through too many days when my anxiety hits the roof, I end up not being able to sleep, take half a zopiclone and feel depressed and ten times worse the next day. It's a vicious cycle.

    If I start on a med I feel I will need to start on it long term. I would like to try mirtazapine again but am fearful that eventually after several months I will get that same side effect again and then what? I cannot tolerate the SSRIs as they are too stimulating. Anyway that's my problem.

    Wishing you the very best.

    Belle

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    283

    Re: Mirt Diary

    Thanks Belle - yeah, I am similar to you I think re SSRIs. If this works for me I plan on being on it long term. But it is a little scary to think that I could be doing fine on something and then, after 9 months or so, have something crop up like you did. But I have to try and not worry about it! I am hoping I can stay on 15mg rather than go up. If that is the case then hopefully the taper off will not be too bad if I have to come off it. Were you on 30mg in the end? How long did you taper for, and was it ok?

    Re being on meds in general. It is a really hard decision to make. And you have no idea what the outcome will be of your decision. But I guess it reaches a point when the feeling of not being on them is worse than the potential risk of the side-effects of trying something new....

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    469

    Re: Mirt Diary

    Hi Jomo,
    I was on 15mg. I tried 30mg for a very short while, but it proved too stimulating causing restless legs and affecting my sleep. For me 15 was my therapeutic dose.

    I tapered for approximately two weeks and had hardly any problems, the odd sleepless night which I expected, but that was all.

    Yes, I agree you have to reach a point where you almost have no alternative but to take medication or go on feeling grim for days at a time and taking the risk the toll that would take on your physical and mental health. So it's always a risk either way. I sometimes think I just want to be like other people who don't have to take anything and just get on with it, but some of us need the medication to just reach that level playing field that every one else functions on.

    Take care now and have a nice evening
    p.s There used to be a very nice member here who went by the name of Ingenious. He's not around any longer, but his posts are still here if want to look them up. He was on Mirtazapine and I always found his posts very helpful and positive.

    Belle
    Last edited by Belleblue; 20-06-18 at 19:13.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    283

    Re: Mirt Diary

    Thanks Belle - and completely agree.

    Day 8

    Pill at around 9pm, asleep by around 11. Woke at 3am but went back to sleep fine.
    A little tired this morning, but not that groggy.

    Finding I was getting a little obsessed about the possible weight gain etc, so need to just get better at not catastrophising. Still the odd headache etc, but nothing that bad.
    Mood fine

    Ok until the evening when had a little panic/anxiety/guilt/obsessive thinking episode. Not that bad, and did not escalate into anything really unpleasant. But was a reminded that it is still early days and I still need to keep working on all this stuff with CBT etc

    Pill at 9pm

    Took a while to fall asleep again - maybe about midnight


    Day 9

    Got woken by my son at 4am as he could not sleep and took an hour or so to get him back sleeping, by which time it was light outside and I could not fall asleep again. Up at 7am for work. So feeling very tired today, but that is not the pill's fault. Slight headache and upset stomach etc, but again that may be more due to lack of sleep. Mood ok so far.
    Last edited by anxiousjomo; 22-06-18 at 09:59. Reason: added rest of day

  7. #7
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    Jul 2017
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    283

    Re: Mirt Diary

    I am not going to keep doing this day by day, in part because one of my anxiety issues is constantly obsessing about symptoms etc.

    But is all still going well - not really groggy any more in the mornings, no real side effects noticeable at present. Certainly feel an uplift to my mood - much less anxious and much less depressed. Also seems to be having a positive effect on my IBS, as I no longer suffer from morning diarrhoea etc

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    364

    Re: Mirt Diary

    My first thoughts on Mirt was I'm not sure I can handle the groggy feeling it gave me next day but that went in a week and a year and a half on I find it very helpful and my anxiety and H/A is so much better, not gone but better.

    I hope you find it as helpful as I have but stick with the CBT as that helped me also. I do have abit of trouble with eating about an hour after taking Mirt and have put on some weight but that is the last of my worries at least I know I can get rid of the fat it's the anxiety that causes me to get depressed and life isn't so bad since I have been on the Mirt.

    Stick with it

  9. #9
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    Jul 2017
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    283

    Re: Mirt Diary

    On day 13 now - having a strange spike in anxiety today. Not sure of the reason or source, but certainly feeling all the old anxious symptoms - jittery, hear pounding, hard to swallow, shaky etc. Hoping this is just a temporary blip - I am not even two weeks in so must be patient.

    Still feeling a bit dizzy/groggy from time to time, and still getting restless legs at night about an hour after taking it, though they are gone after about an hour.

    Finding my body takes longer to recover after the gym - my legs are still sore from exercise i did a couple of days ago that usually would not cause me much problem.

    Other than that, in general mood is still good. Sleep is ok - better than it was off the meds anyway - still takes an hour or two to fall asleep, but I seem to be able to get back to sleep much easier if I wake in the night.

    Oh, and I also seem to be getting heartburn more than usual, which may be mirt related?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
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    283

    Re: Mirt Diary

    Day 15 - feeling very good today. Slept well (apparently at one point my wife says I was smiling in my sleep - which compared to my previous insomnia/nightmares when sleeping issues, is a pretty good sign!)

    Interestingly about 45min-1hr after I take the pill in the evening I get restless legs for about an hour, then they go. For this reason I have started taking it a little earlier (about 8.30) so the legs will calm down by the time I need to sleep.

    In general, after being on it for 2 weeks, things are much much better. I have gone from getting only a couple of hours sleep a night and having anxiety, shakes, obsessive thinking, depression and all the rest (managed through exercise and meditation to mean I was averaging about 5-6 out of 10 a day) to falling asleep within about 30min-1hr and sleeping through until about 6.30-7am (or falling back asleep easily when I wake up), and having minimal anxiety and depression. Some days are worse than others (yesterday and the day before were a bit all over the place).

    I have put on a bit of weight, and I still feel a little foggy/groggy/dizzy at times. I also get mild headaches from time to time, which feel like they are mirt related. Other than that, the side effects seem to have calmed down.

    Finger's crossed I don't get blindsided by something crazy. Hopefully this drug looks like it might be working.

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