Mirt Diary

[anxiousjomo]

Thanks - yeah I am aware of the issues - I think any med that helps with sleep is going to have problems with fogginess! I think the idea would be to take the one low dose at night and due to its short half life, most would be out of my system by the morning. But, regardless, at present I am not going down this route. I have to remember I am undoing nearly 40 years of mental bad habit, so it will take time! And I am doing much better than I was, even with this damn insomnia.

[chrismex89]

Very good Jomo, sounds good option always under the supervision of the psychiatrist, my psychiatrist told me to start lowering the mirtazapine from 7.5mg to 3.75mg remembering that I take escitalopram of 10mg, to see how it goes

[anxiousjomo]

Good luck Chris!

[emily67]

used to do one of these years ago. it did help me a lot

will also follow this thread

[pulisa]

Hope you are doing ok, Jomo? Have a good weekend!

[chrismex89]

Jomo how have you been in general and applying the advice of Dr. Weekes?

[anxiousjomo]

All,

I am doing good thanks - still not sleeping great (maybe have 2 or 3 nights a week with only an hour or two of sleep), but am working on it and feel like it is improving.

In general, I am managing the anxiety and depression well at the moment - getting better at watching the negative thoughts/catastrophising etc in the early stages and re-framing/re-directing/telling them to bugger off.

One thing I read which has helped was to imagine myself in 5 years time. One version I still have insomnia and anxiety, and am spending all my days worrying about it, not doing things I love etc because of it. And the other version I still have the insomnia and anxiety, but am not wasting time worrying about it, and am just getting on with living and enjoying my life. Which would I prefer? What is the actual benefit to me of all this worry and rumination? Nothing. So stop wasting time on it.

Still seeing my therapist maybe once a week, or once every two weeks. That is helping too. Went to a Buddhist meditation session last week, which I really enjoyed - a good 30min sitting meditation and then a 15min walking meditation.

Work is still insanely busy and stressful, but I am managing it. Just, as Dr Weekes says, relaxing and letting it all be as it is. Changing or preparing for what I can, but when it is out of my control, just letting it go.

Not on any supplements - just magnesium and calcium before bed, and fish oil and a 250mg inositol and choline in the morning. Not sure if the latter does anything, but cant be doing any harm. Still go to the gym 3-4 times a week, which also helps. Drinking lots of water, and eating less sugar etc.

Coming up to 2 months off meds, and feel like I am doing ok. I know there may well be blips and bad times in the future, but hopefully I have techniques in place to deal with it when it comes.

Hope you are all doing well.

J

[pulisa]

You're doing great, Jomo. You're not treating recovery as a crusade-just being sensible and not overthinking the situation.

You're dealing with your recovery whilst under a lot of pressure at work too so all the more credit to you for keeping yourself stable and well. Whatever works for you and helps, stick with it. Doesn't matter whether it's "recommended" or not. Most of the fancy techniques are common sense anyway.

Best of luck and have a good and productive week!

[chrismex89]

How you doing Jomo?

[anxiousjomo]

Hi Chris,

All good - thanks for asking. Sleep is a little better (had 3 nights in a row of 6-7hrs!) - just working on meditation/mindfulness and generally just not giving so much of a s**t about how I feel or what tomorrow might bring! Still a struggle at times, but nothing I have not been able to handle before.
Still seeing a therapist once a week, which is good. A lot of stuff to work through - much of the anxiety is really coming from my low self esteem (i.e. because I am a useless piece of rubbish I won't be able to cope with whatever will come) - once I get better at accepting I am actually a perfectly decent human being, and am strong enough to cope with whatever life chucks at me, that lessens the anxiety.
Still exercising 4 or even 5 times a week, just taking magnesium and calcium in the evening, and fish oil and a 250mg Inositol and Choline in the morning.
Am two months without any meds now, so feeling proud of that. I know I am bound to have some relapses or other issues in the future, but hopefully I can keep hold of the knowledge that I have dealt with them before, can do so again, and that they will pass...

Hope all is well with you