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  1. #181
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Posts
    110

    Re: anxiety has taken over

    Hi Rad,
    Just to bring you up to date, being how i haven't spoke for so long.
    Im sorry to here about your partners mum, that must of been a very hard time for you all, i hope your family member with cancer has had a good
    prognosis and is doing well.
    I have had a pretty ruff time recently with my mum. She took ill 3 weeks ago, had a stroke and was taken into hospital for treatment. After 3 days in there she had another small stroke which altered her personality completely, after this she just went down hill. Mum past away during the early hours of yesterday morning peacefully age 87. Im staying in her bungalow at the moment with the monumental task of sorting out her affairs.
    Although this is a very sad time, i am still positive about the future.
    Still doing the furniture restoration, but i do think i will be going back into engineering to earn a proper wage again.
    Anyway, i will say goodbye for now, and hope you will give me an update, hopefully we will have better news to talk about soon.
    All the best wishes, and sending love, your old mate Otterman.

  2. #182
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Posts
    104

    Re: anxiety has taken over

    Dear Otters,

    So sorry to hear about your mum. That was back in November and here we are in Jan 2020. I hope you have managed to sort things out at her home and that her funeral went as well as it could have. I am sure Christmas time you spent lots of time thinking about her. Cant have been easy.

    Do let me know how you are Otters, I will login and look out for any messages. I got incredibly busy with work and family requests and so have been away from the site for a long while. It was good to hear you are still doing the furniture thing but it sounds like very hard graft. When you feel well enough, you must find a way back into engineering. How is the van? How are the dogs? Are you in good shape? feeling steady? Eating OK?

    I've been incredibly surprised at the work that came my way last year. It got me distracted from worries and rebuilt my self worth. It dried up around November and actually one client didn't pay up all they owed. They seem in financial trouble. Strange for me I am not panicked. More like I am in no-mans land, but I managed to save a decent sum and so I am good for a while yet. I also feel able to control anxiety for now. I am looking for a property renovation project to try and make money on. Ive done that many times over my life. I learned plenty from my dad and I have done plenty of my own homes up over the years.

    I bought a big wardrobe for my daughter's bedroom and added bookcases each side over Christmas. It involved taking elements to pieces and adding depth to shelves, new moulding etc. Bought the main bit from a charity shop and had the bookshelves already. I'm well pleased.

    You recall my former client who never served notice? Well in the end I got some help from a lawyer and prepared a legal letter. They were shocked but lets see if anything comes of it. They made it known to a mutual contact that the will find a way to turn things on me. I will give you more details another day. But they dont seem ready to play by the book.

    My girl is growing up fast and Ive had some good times with her recently. Just read a book with her at bedtime. David Walliams from little britain wrote it. Its pretty good!

    Take care Otters. I will say a prayer for your mum and also for you. Wishing you well for 2020.

    Your mate,
    Rad


  3. #183
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Posts
    110

    Re: anxiety has taken over

    Hi Rad,
    Still in the land off the living, sorry for not getting back sooner. We dont make the best of pen pals do we? lol
    My world was well and truly rocked with the passing of my mum, the nature of it was shocking without going into too much detail.
    For a couple of weeks i was on a knife edge and thought i would go off the rails again, but that didnt happen
    thank god.
    I started a new job in February at an engineering firm in yorkshire, its doing what i am used to and i know the owner too. They are letting me work
    4 days a week so i get the benefit of a long weekend back up here at the van.
    Mums bungalow is taking some selling, not had much interest in the place which has surprised me as its in such a nice spot.
    Smudge and Jess are both well and enjoying there lives as am i.
    Im so happy that work has been going so well for you, and you are managing to stay positive. The house renovation would be something i would relish
    its always satisfying when you do it yourself and take a step back to admire what you have achieved.
    Dont know how long this new job of mine will last as the company always seems to be struggling for money, but i will just keep my
    head down and take the wage every week for the time being.
    We must make the effort to correspond more often than we do lol.
    All the best for now my friend, hope to here from you soon.
    Your friend as ever
    Otterman...

  4. #184
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Posts
    104

    Re: anxiety has taken over

    Hi Otters,

    I hope u r feeling ok. Itís terrible to feel like you are about to hit a bad patch again. So sorry about your mum. Keep soldiering on. I hope that job continues. Never forget we are survivors.

    I will reply properly soon, things not desperate for me, ticking over and hoping the Corona thing gets under control soon.

    Take care,
    Rad

  5. #185

    Re: anxiety has taken over

    Hi! Hope everything will be better! I wish you all the best. I just joined and if you need to talk to smb please PM me

  6. #186
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Posts
    104

    Re: anxiety has taken over

    Hi Otters,
    Ive been wondering how you are getting on. Especially with lockdown etc. It is all unusual although people who have such regular lives before may now understand what we've been through now. Not that I would wish it on anybody. Worrying about money, future, work etc. I feel less different now. I am taking it in my stride. I am not spending so much ! No chance of going out for a beer or coffee, or to a restaurant
    Work dried up a while back but I am back on my fight to get compensation re work contract and it is hotting up. I got a very long and detailed letter from their big firm of solicitors. I think it was an attempt to scare me off, but I have knuckled down this past week and taken them on. I am getting everything checked before I send it out by a lawyer, but doing the slog myself. The tone of their emails is pompous and pushy, and there is some satisfaction in questioning them and brining them down a peg or two. I suppose its their job, but it feels nasty and the dishonesty of the company they are fighting for is starting to shine though. My partners very close elderly aunt died, my aunt too. Not the Virus but natural causes. Its sad not to be able to attend the funerals and be with family.

    How are you since your mum passed? Are you still in the van and are you getting out with the dogs in this better weather? How is the anxiety going? Stay in touch Otters, keep me posted from time to time. One day I hope we will meet up as I consider you a good friend. Any help needed or if you want to share something - I am here.
    Best, Rad

  7. #187
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Posts
    110

    Re: anxiety has taken over

    Hi Rad,
    Well its safe to say that the world we once new has gone! Lets hope it comes back soon.
    Can i just say that i admire the fact that you will not be bullied and that you are taking on the big boys who for some reason
    think they have a god given rite to walk all over people, good on you..

    Its safe to say im going a little stir crazy at the moment, but there are thousands of poor people in a much worst situation than myself.
    I have been in lock down now for 4 weeks up at the van, my job has been furloughed but i am still getting 80% of my wage wich is just about
    enough to live on, given the fact that my wife got laid of from her job three weeks ago.
    Its hard not been able to see my family, as you know they are all down in yorkshire, so even waving to them through a window is out of the question at the moment.
    Smudge and jess are fine as am i and all the people i care about, so sorry to hear about your loss of family, it truly is very difficult at this time as you say with funerals. I suppose i was lucky i managed to give my mum the send off she deserved.
    Im still taking the meds, anxiety pops up a bit more often recently, but i have found that only watching the news once a day helps. My sleep pattern has completely gone out the window!! i go to bed at 2 am maybe get up at 10 am and then have a kip mid afternoon, but its changing all the time.
    One good thing is the weather at the moment, clear blue sky's and you can sit up here on the decking and actually see the leaves coming out day by day. i also have the luxury of been able to take my dogs out for walks (my daily exorcise) and not meeting another soul. going shopping is the most frightening thing i have to do, always make sure i have a ready wine supply, it helps lol.
    Anyway, thats enough of my mindless jibber for now, and yes it would be fantastic to meet one day face to face, brothers in arms!!
    Take care my good friend, and be safe..
    All the best wishes in the world
    Otterman..

  8. #188
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Posts
    104

    Re: anxiety has taken over

    Nice to know you are OK Otters. Blue sky here and warm nights. Like you Im sleeping weird hours. Up early, kip in afternoon. We are seriously seeking a dog (and cat), makes it harder lol.
    If you hit a struggle let me know.

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