'Normal' life

[cat85pink]

Hi

I've been away a while. And doing quite well until depression came over me again about 6 months ago.

GP hasn't been much help. I've tried new medication. No luck. I'm too scared & confused over side effects. That i don't want meds.

The biggest issue in my life is coping & enjoying plans. I have good things in my life. But having plans makes me so nervous that sometimes i can't get out. I have a 3 year old child. His after school & in school actives ate getting on top of me. I feel so sad that I'm struggling like this. I want to be there for him & apart of it. But im so anxious. Then low mood kicks in & at best i just cope at home doing daily routine.

I cant even enjoy a kids birthday invitation.

I know a lot of it is down to negative thinking.

Possibly because having a plan is a commitment that i will be ok or that set day & time.

Not being in control. Having to be somewhere at a set day/time

It feels like every plan is a dental appointment. That im so scared off.

I'm not managing to control my emotions outside. Getting really upset when i feel anxious. I really don't want my child or his friends teachers to see me like this. I dont want to cause him upset.

[Mumzy]

You sound exactly like me! I could’ve written this almost word for word. I’m a mum of 5 youngest 4 and eldest 16. I came off medication in Feb after 13 years on it BIG MISTAKE! I’m even struggling to do the school run! Ther s so much going on this time of year isn’t thet and I find it all a bit over whelming.
I had in mind I’d re start my meds Friday night, chickened out (scared of side effects) Saturday night came and I took the smallest amount, and last night too. My husband has the week off. Do you have a partner? Understanding? I just want to feel ‘notmal’ Again. Sorry no advice but I do sympathise

[cat85pink]

Hi

Yes i do have my husband. Who has & will step in if needed for school stuff. But he works. So i feel twice the guilt. Plus i want to be there. I want to see & be there for my son. I hate that i dread it. And feel so anxious.
I think we've had 7 appointment/events this week my head is spinning.

If you don't mind me asking what medication did you take?

I'm so sorry you too feel similar.