'Normal' life
Hi
I've been away a while. And doing quite well until depression came over me again about 6 months ago.
GP hasn't been much help. I've tried new medication. No luck. I'm too scared & confused over side effects. That i don't want meds.
The biggest issue in my life is coping & enjoying plans. I have good things in my life. But having plans makes me so nervous that sometimes i can't get out. I have a 3 year old child. His after school & in school actives ate getting on top of me. I feel so sad that I'm struggling like this. I want to be there for him & apart of it. But im so anxious. Then low mood kicks in & at best i just cope at home doing daily routine.
I cant even enjoy a kids birthday invitation.
I know a lot of it is down to negative thinking.
Possibly because having a plan is a commitment that i will be ok or that set day & time.
Not being in control. Having to be somewhere at a set day/time
It feels like every plan is a dental appointment. That im so scared off.
I'm not managing to control my emotions outside. Getting really upset when i feel anxious. I really don't want my child or his friends teachers to see me like this. I dont want to cause him upset.
__________________
Cat.
I can only be me, my minds a little broken, my soul you can see, this anxiety is only apart of me, look inside there's more of me to see. One day I can be everything I want to be.& then you will see there is more to me than anxiety <
Age 33
Agoraphobic since 2003.
Depression.
Anxiety