Wife Birthday Ruined

[A&D]

Im new to this and its the first time ive joined a forum but here goes.

Its was my wifes 30th birthday on Saturday and everything was going great. The families from both sides got there and we had lunch. I'd organised a fantastic cake and put a lot of effort into organising it. But then after food I popped out for a quick smoke (cig), and the waitress brought out the cake without notice. I wasnt there and the cake had fountain candles lit and I missed the moment. The cake was £155 so it wasnt your average one. But when i walked back into the restaurant it felt like the whole room had shrunk. Everyone was trying not to show the that there was an elephant in the room but you could tell it was there. I broke into a sweat and my heart was racing. I felt soo bad for my wife and the occassion. I feel dissapointed in myself and no matter how positive I try and think, I cant seem to let it go. When I went outside the table was still full of lots of plates and left over food amd I was literally out for 5 minutes. The waitress knew I was the husband and I was the one who gave her the candles and asked if the cake was okay. Whilst it isnt 100% my fault, I feel bad for my wife because ot was a memory which cannot be changed now. She is so great, happy go lucky and easy going, I just think she didnt deserved for this to go a little wrong on her day. Plus with the zero notice, hardly any pictures or videos were taken as you would normally like, although there were one or two. I just feel down and gutted about it. I feel anxious now when the day is mentioned and will feel it when I see the family next. Im not sure what to do. It was my job to get this right and it didnt quite work out. This isnt me and I used to be one point with most things, now it seems im redundant in being able to do simple things.

[MRS STRESS ED]

To be honest with you its sounds like your anxiety made you feel that way whe you went back in to the restaurant anxiety does that to us,and to say that you ruined her birthday is a bit hard on yourself give yourself a break you organised a lovely party yeah you missed the cake but know one died and the only person you should be worried about is your wife and she was happy so that is all that matters

[GiantMogwai]

To be honest with you its sounds like your anxiety made you feel that way whe you went back in to the restaurant anxiety does that to us,and to say that you ruined her birthday is a bit hard on yourself give yourself a break you organised a lovely party yeah you missed the cake but know one died and the only person you should be worried about is your wife and she was happy so that is all that matters

Agree.

Also, don't get caught up in the myth of perfect occasions. "Good" is good enough, and this sounds like it was just a case of bad timing.

---------- Post added at 23:50 ---------- Previous post was at 23:42 ----------

Regarding pictures maybe send an email round asking people to send you pictures they took. Get links to these together for your wife to look at. If there weren't many pictures possibly everyone was having too much of a good time.

Plus the elephant in the room might have been the waitress not waiting, or just your anxiety perception as you came in. In any case forget about it, and take it from here.

[MagicalSpiral]

I know how this feel. I have missed so many good things and it's like your heart drops in the moment. But it's not a big deal and it's not just yours and the waitress fault, because anyone in that room could've come outside and got you. So everyone in that room is at fault!