Dealing with Depression.

[dancerja77]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He is clinically depressed, and I am having a hard time with it. We both have anxiety, and we bonded on that, but I am a generally happy person, positive, excited about life. I feel that right now, he isn't. I feel unloved, unwanted, and like he looks right passed me when I talk. He is withdrawn, and irritable, I feel like its all my fault. I know I can't fix him, but I'm not sure what else to do. He admits to his faults, he knows how he is. He takes 50 mg of Zoloft a day, but Im not sure if its helping.

He doesn't communicate with me when he's having a hard time, so It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong when he snaps at me, or he is just plain grumpy. I know its not his fault, but he's so damn stubborn that idk if it'll ever change. I can't be with someone who doesn't show me any affection, or is upset all of the time. am I selfish? I don't know where to look for advice of people dating depressed people. It's so hard.

[GiantMogwai]

My other half is my lighthouse but she didn't shine as bright when I was on the drugs. For me the drugs dampened things too much. Part of the reason I came off them although I was so difficult whilst I did for weeks. Tell him gently that no matter what you are both going through you need him to tell you how he feels about you every now and then. No matter how he reacts to that let it sink in with him and then see how things go. For me these drugs can create emotional distance but hopefully he should be able to make out how he feels.

[venusbluejeans]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your problem.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

[AnxiousAmi]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 and a half years, and we both go through moments of depression and anxiety.
It's difficult, because he is very negative person most of the time, and I try to be a lot more positive.
However, when I'm feeling depressed and have bad anxiety, he takes things out on me, thinking I'm angry at him.
He also doesn't show a whole lot of affection towards me at times and it really does make me feel unloved, which contributes to my depression anxiety.
It's very hard to get through to him sometimes, but if we ever get into an argument, I try my best to look at it from an outside perspective and then apologize to him for any negativity that I have caused in our relationship that caused us to be where we were at.
I let him know my feelings and ask him to be understanding of why I feel the way I do.
Usually we can figure things out after we talked about these things.
Ask him why he feels the way he does.
Let him know that if there was anything that you have done to cause any kind of anger or depression, that you did not intend it.
If there's anything that he has done to cause you the same, let him know and tell him that you wish things would go in a different way next time.
communication is key, I know it can be difficult to find the right time to say What you need to say.
I hope everything works out for the two of you.

[Suziewuzie]

I can't offer any advice but just want to send you sone love as I'm going through the same thing now & it's very difficult. People tell me to say certain things to my partner, "try telling him this" etc. But he literally puts his hands over his ears and tells me to eff off. You aren't being selfish, and in any case there's nothing wrong with putting yourself first, you need to look after your own mental health too x