Can Anyone Help?

[hollowsounds]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been suffering with severe DP/DR since May 2015 after a bad experience with weed (a bad experience that I now realise was an incredibly severe panic attack). I suddenly felt a feeling I’d never felt before; my arms didn’t feel like my own, my mind felt entirely numb, everything seemed blurry and I felt like I was in a dream and like I was going to die.

In the months following, I experienced almost daily panic attacks along with an overwhelming feeling that nothing was real and that everything around me seems strange and unfamiliar; I’d look at my family and my mind would tell me that they were strangers. I experienced bad agoraphobia in the months following, not leaving my house for 6 months.

I then received therapy from a private therapist who allowed me to be able to leave my house and do things I’d never done before. I also received CBT which helped me tackle my panic head-on to the point that I haven’t had any panic attacks since early 2016.

I’ve been on Sertraline which helped me to no end, wiping out most of my feelings and symptoms of anxiety.

I’ve been able to live a semi-normal life since then, however my feelings on unreality and unfamiliarity have remained, pushed firmly under the rug.
However, over the last few months my DP/DR has gotten so much worse to the point I feel like I’m doing worse than I was originally. My memories before all of this seem fake and like they didn’t happen. My surroundings all seem unfamiliar. Those around me seem like strangers. I can’t shake the fact that nothing is real and I’m stuck in a dream. I don’t even feel like me. It’s been 3+ years and, with each day, I feel less and less like myself.

I’m getting to the point where I feel as though I physically can’t deal with this anymore. I’d rather die than have to live with this anymore and I’m scared that my fear of living with this will overpower my fear of death and I’ll take my life.
I’ve seen doctors however they don’t tend to understand any of this, they try to help me tackle the anxiety and use calming grounding techniques despite the fact that I’ve heard and learnt it all before.

For those of you who have beaten this or learnt to live a normal happy life with it - please can you help me? Any tips or your own experiences? I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m scared and exhausted.

Thank you

[Buster70]

Hi , I can't tell you exactly how to get rid of the dreaded DP/DR but I can tell you it does go , it's like a fire you keep feeding it and it keeps burning , distraction and just generally telling it to f**k right off seem to be the best options .
My first experience of it was at seventeen after taking magic mushrooms , it say it lasted a year or so and like you I walked around in a dream state nothing seemed real or familiar, even people's faces didn't look right , my hands and legs weren't my own , it went for about ten years but returned after taking antidepressants at 29 after my dad's death , again I carried on as normal until I forgot about it , it returned again in my forties again after a disturbing event and again trying antidepressants, it comes and goes now mainly when I'm tired and stressed ( which is a lot ) but I do cope better with and ignoring/ accepting it's happening and will pass makes it go quicker .
Apparently it's the minds way of protecting you but its no bloody fun at all , the only thing I've leaned from it is the drugs don't work , if I could turn the clock back I'd stay away from legal and illegal drugs .
It will pass , take care