Anxiety back with a vengance- Neighbours etc

[willous1]

Hi all,

It's been a while since I posted but really need some support.

My anxiety was non existent until about 3 months ago. A neighbour moved in upstairs, a drinker who had constant parties etc. She even had homeless stay with her etc and had a tenant which is illegal. We had an attempted break in a few weeks ago as well as well as other issues. The council and housing association just don't help no matter what we do, it takes years to evict someone. She admitted everything to them. I can't rent because of my credit etc and just don't know where to turn. The lady has kept the noise down but stays up all night and every step is noisy. My son has trauma anxiety and hates sleeping, this was diagnosed by the doctor and my wife has had weeks off work so we are losing money. This lady does not work and it's just not fair. I need to work on my anxiety (heart going) every time I hear a step but do not know what to do. I am going to talk to 'Time to talk' about CBT again but just feel like i'm going back to how I was years ago with depression and panic attacks. We have cockroaches due to the boiler people making a leak and the damp is awful. Just need some help.

[willous1]

Can anyone help?

I am waking up to any silly noise and feel sick to every little noise. She has made an effort so maybe im being unfair, I can't tell her to sleep early.

[Fishmanpa]

Short of moving the only thing I can suggest are ear plugs. My wife snores and our ceiling fan sometimes makes a clicking sound. Both wake me. I bought foam ear plugs and ZZzzzzz

Positive thoughts

[GiantMogwai]

Earplugs help to muffle the noise. Try out a few different brands of ear plugs to see which work for you. Foam are better than wax in my opinion. I sleep with foam earplugs every night. I roll the foam ones so they are thin, push them in my ear gently, and then hold them in place as they expand. Happy to recommend some if you want.

You can also put ear defenders over these when not sleeping to increase the muffling of noise even more. Ear defenders are not that expensive.

The challenge with both of these techniques is that although they muffle the noise quite a bit some noise and some vibrations will still get through.

Also for your son maybe he can listen to music with headphones to help him get to sleep. I used to do this a bit when I was a kid. He could also potentially put some ear defenders on when he is reading at bedtime.

Apart from this you could try a few things.

1. If the upstairs floor is wooden and your neighbour wears shoes in the house ask her if she wouldn't mind not wearing shoes in the house. This can make a big difference.

2. If the upstairs floor is wooden ask the housing agency if there is anything in the lease relating to noise reduction such as the upstairs flat having to be carpeted. Our flat has to be carpeted because of downstairs neighbours. That is in our lease. It helps a bit.

3. If you can bear to move, put your name on the waiting list for a top floor flat, so you won't have upstairs neighbours anymore.

4. Make sure you go out to a quiet place with your family as often as you can to get away from the noise.

[willous1]

Thanks both of you, will go down that route. Everyone else sleeps apart from me, bloody anxiety. Fishmanpa, hope you are well.

Edit- Have ordered some foam earplugs of Amazon. Trying to make myself feel better by thinking it could be worse and atleast she has made an effort. Just need a lottery win.

[GiantMogwai]

Thanks both of you, will go down that route. Everyone else sleeps apart from me, bloody anxiety. Fishmanpa, hope you are well.

Edit- Have ordered some foam earplugs of Amazon. Trying to make myself feel better by thinking it could be worse and atleast she has made an effort. Just need a lottery win.

"Laser Lite" are my favourite - £3.56 for 20 pairs on Amazon UK.

[willous1]

I've tried the earplugs and although they help it's my anxiety which is terrible. My neighbour is being a lot more quiet and now it's just footsteps and cupboards in the night. My wife and kids sleep through it but if I hear one noise even during the day I get this horrible anxious feeling. She spoke to me yesterday and although she's an alcoholic is trying. I was thinking about buying a white noise machine but I'm really hoping someone on here can help? How can I learn to ignore the noise and just see it as a normal noise like a car going by etc....I feel sick coming near the house even although it's not even that bad.

[willous1]

Another night where I haven't slept although she hardly made noise. Whenever a cupboard shuts or anything this sensation I get is horrible.

[GiantMogwai]

Have you always had this sensitivity to sound or is it recent? Are these reactions to sound just in the house or also out and about?

---------- Post added at 10:11 ---------- Previous post was at 09:24 ----------

I use ear defenders over ear plugs in house when too many noises are bothering. Try to get out to quiet places more. Have fixed bed time for everyone or at least a no banging about in kitchen after a certain time.

---------- Post added at 10:15 ---------- Previous post was at 10:11 ----------

I think what you are looking for is desensitization. I have no experience of this and in my personal experience the more sound I expose myself to the worse it gets. Some others here may have more experience of that kind of approach. I hope this gets better for you.

[KK77]

I've tried the earplugs and although they help it's my anxiety which is terrible. My neighbour is being a lot more quiet and now it's just footsteps and cupboards in the night. My wife and kids sleep through it but if I hear one noise even during the day I get this horrible anxious feeling. She spoke to me yesterday and although she's an alcoholic is trying. I was thinking about buying a white noise machine but I'm really hoping someone on here can help? How can I learn to ignore the noise and just see it as a normal noise like a car going by etc....I feel sick coming near the house even although it's not even that bad.

You really shouldn't be able to hear footsteps above you in a flat, Willous. Is it a conversion? It shows that there is obviously no sound-proofing to floor, in which case it's not appropriate to have wooden flooring, unless it is of the "floating floor" variety which has rubber underlay. Otherwise, the flat should be carpeted in bedroom/s and lounge. I would definitely look into this.

I have similar problem with sensitivity to noise and the only advice I can offer is to use earplugs at night as GM suggests. I find certain anti-anxiety/pain meds (eg Pregabalin) also help to take edge off anxiety caused by sudden sharp noises - but you would have to speak to your GP regarding this.