Memory and Memory Issues

[Sluggy]

Hi! I've been going through a pretty torrid time with HA recently and am having a massive panic about my memory and how much I remember in a given day. Just wondering if other people experience the same thing.

I really struggle to remember the order of a given morning routine - only 15-20 minutes after I've done it the order feels jumbled up in my head.

I don't remember much of my morning routine from the day before.

I forget the time a lot - I'll look at the clock, see it's say 10:15 and what seems like 5 or 10 minutes later I've completely forgotten it. This also happens when I wake up in the night and check the time - by the time I wake up again I've generally forgotten what the time was when I woke up. Another example is that sometimes I don't recall what time I've done things throughout the day - I don't remember the times that I eat on certain occasions.

I remember key events during the day, what I ate, what I did for the general bulk of the day etc, but I have trouble remembering a continuous day when as far as I'm aware this never used to be a problem with me. Sometimes I don't recall what room I ate something in.

Apologies for the lengthy post, tried to split it up as best I can. Just in a really bad place at the moment and need some reassurance. I have a massive phobia of sCJD and these memory issues are really worrying me.

Thanks!

[Sluggy]

No one else at all?

[nomorepanic]

Try this:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/article...mind_chatter39

[chrisfromflorida]

Hi Sluggy-

I recently posted the below in another thread where the poster was concerned about misreading words but also some memory issues. Your post popped up later and your issues are similar to mine.

Here is what I wrote yesterday:

"I have recently fallen down the rabbit hole of HA again for the first time in many years. I have not been on these boards in probably 10 years or so. But I read them extensively back then and the help was nothing short of miraculous. I have given myself ALS, Cancer, Parkinson's, stroke and on and on. The usual list of nasty things that make up the news and search engine results. But I beat it back with help from meds and a great wife/friends/NMP and have had a truly great decade. Some blips of worry but nothing like I had experienced when it was bad.

I am back because of some of the same fears as you, LisaLisaD. Early onset dementia is what has gripped me; I am 46. I started to notice dates were getting difficult to remember and then it went sideways from there. I have some of the reading issues that you have (words seem foreign for a moment) but mine is even more with dates and times and names. I started testing myself constantly with remembering my upcoming schedule, past appointments, new faces; any new memory making really. It has become an obsession to a degree. I went over my schedule in my head this week probably 50 times. Maybe 100.

This has been happening for maybe 2-3 months. I made an appointment for a Neuro that specializes in memory disorders 1 week ago. He gave me a quick 30 question memory exam that I scored perfect. Now I struggled with a few questions for a moment and almost went into a panic. He asked me what the date was and what month and I froze but thought it out and answered in I assume enough time that it did not register on his test.

He also did the usual reflex and eye movement stuff and said all was well there. He did send me for an MRI and some other cognitive testing which I should have done in the next couple of weeks. I asked him why and if it was because of anything on my testing and he said just standard procedure. I live in the States and of course the fear of litigation (and the money they make on the tests) causes more testing than other places I believe. But of course I am spinning this up in my head that he saw something he did not like and is investigating.

I feel like I am in a fog much of the time. Brain just does not want to work like it always has. Never in my past HA did I feel like my memory was going. It got me so worried I have typed 10 pages of notes/stories to my 9 year old daughter telling her stories of my life in case I cannot. That is the hardest thought for me to endure. My daughter watching me turn into someone who does not even know her. It has caused me to sob. I think of missing the big events in her life and it hits me like a ton of bricks.

I was at what felt like the end of my rope last Tuesday night. I was having a sinus procedure the next day and had to take some prednisone prior. Well that aggravated the HA to no end and I had a terrible night. I could not sleep so I got on my phone and found the NMP website again. I read a post from a former poster name RLR who was a retired neuro. The gist was that people with dementia have a hallmark trait that they do not know they have it. Even with early onset. These couple of paragraphs were truly mood altering for me. I was able to calm down and get a bit of sleep before my procedure the next morning.

A week later and I have read that post (copied it and put it in my notes on phone) a 100 times. I am still foggy and feel I struggle with dates, times and short term memory. Part of me believes it to be anxiety. Part of me believes it to be the end. And some part that may be whackier than the others hopes they find MS on the scan because that is something I can live with for a really long time and not die or lose all my marbles.

As a side note, I have had worries about my daughter recently as well. She swam in some fresh water and I remembered the dang brain eating ameba that kills like 1 person a year in the entire world. I cursed myself for letting her swim and of course she was fine. But it is just an example that the rabbit hole is open for business in my brain right now.

Reading your post and the others afterward has helped me understand, that what seems like symptoms that have no earthly way they could be rooted in anxiety, almost certainly are."

[Sluggy]

Hi Sluggy-

I recently posted the below in another thread where the poster was concerned about misreading words but also some memory issues. Your post popped up later and your issues are similar to mine.

Here is what I wrote yesterday:

"I have recently fallen down the rabbit hole of HA again for the first time in many years. I have not been on these boards in probably 10 years or so. But I read them extensively back then and the help was nothing short of miraculous. I have given myself ALS, Cancer, Parkinson's, stroke and on and on. The usual list of nasty things that make up the news and search engine results. But I beat it back with help from meds and a great wife/friends/NMP and have had a truly great decade. Some blips of worry but nothing like I had experienced when it was bad.

I am back because of some of the same fears as you, LisaLisaD. Early onset dementia is what has gripped me; I am 46. I started to notice dates were getting difficult to remember and then it went sideways from there. I have some of the reading issues that you have (words seem foreign for a moment) but mine is even more with dates and times and names. I started testing myself constantly with remembering my upcoming schedule, past appointments, new faces; any new memory making really. It has become an obsession to a degree. I went over my schedule in my head this week probably 50 times. Maybe 100.

This has been happening for maybe 2-3 months. I made an appointment for a Neuro that specializes in memory disorders 1 week ago. He gave me a quick 30 question memory exam that I scored perfect. Now I struggled with a few questions for a moment and almost went into a panic. He asked me what the date was and what month and I froze but thought it out and answered in I assume enough time that it did not register on his test.

He also did the usual reflex and eye movement stuff and said all was well there. He did send me for an MRI and some other cognitive testing which I should have done in the next couple of weeks. I asked him why and if it was because of anything on my testing and he said just standard procedure. I live in the States and of course the fear of litigation (and the money they make on the tests) causes more testing than other places I believe. But of course I am spinning this up in my head that he saw something he did not like and is investigating.

I feel like I am in a fog much of the time. Brain just does not want to work like it always has. Never in my past HA did I feel like my memory was going. It got me so worried I have typed 10 pages of notes/stories to my 9 year old daughter telling her stories of my life in case I cannot. That is the hardest thought for me to endure. My daughter watching me turn into someone who does not even know her. It has caused me to sob. I think of missing the big events in her life and it hits me like a ton of bricks.

I was at what felt like the end of my rope last Tuesday night. I was having a sinus procedure the next day and had to take some prednisone prior. Well that aggravated the HA to no end and I had a terrible night. I could not sleep so I got on my phone and found the NMP website again. I read a post from a former poster name RLR who was a retired neuro. The gist was that people with dementia have a hallmark trait that they do not know they have it. Even with early onset. These couple of paragraphs were truly mood altering for me. I was able to calm down and get a bit of sleep before my procedure the next morning.

A week later and I have read that post (copied it and put it in my notes on phone) a 100 times. I am still foggy and feel I struggle with dates, times and short term memory. Part of me believes it to be anxiety. Part of me believes it to be the end. And some part that may be whackier than the others hopes they find MS on the scan because that is something I can live with for a really long time and not die or lose all my marbles.

As a side note, I have had worries about my daughter recently as well. She swam in some fresh water and I remembered the dang brain eating ameba that kills like 1 person a year in the entire world. I cursed myself for letting her swim and of course she was fine. But it is just an example that the rabbit hole is open for business in my brain right now.

Reading your post and the others afterward has helped me understand, that what seems like symptoms that have no earthly way they could be rooted in anxiety, almost certainly are."

This really does lift my mood somewhat. There's an odd comfort in knowing others experience the same mental anguish that you do.

The comment about RLR in particular really intrigues me. Do you happen to have a link to the RLR post you mention above?

[chrisfromflorida]

Tried to post a link but because I have under 10 posts it will not let me.

Do this: under advanced search go to keywords and type" memory problems caused by HA?" Search titles only. A post by Ben1989 will appear. In that thread is the info you are looking for. Read the entire thread.

The post from swajj quotes RLR. There are some directions how to search all his old posts later down the thread.

Hope that helps. I know the memory stuff is a bear. I am in the midst of it now. Even though I know it is almost definitely anxiety rooted and not something sinister it is still hard to take at times.

[KK77]

The comment about RLR in particular really intrigues me. Do you happen to have a link to the RLR post you mention above?

I believe this is the thread you want: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=197721

[chrisfromflorida]

Thanks for the assist. That was it exactly. Couple more posts and I will be free to add links myself