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Thread: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

  1. #11
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    I'm so glad you were brave enough to have this conversation with your partner. I keep things locked in and it doesn't help. I really hope that the appointment tomorrow helps to rationalise your fears and that your anxiety levels in general lessen as a result of both a professional medical assessment and keeping communication channels open with your partner about your fears. He does sound a wonderfully supportive man but you would be the same to him should he need it..which all sounds like a pretty solid and loving relationship to me!

    All the very best for the appointment xx
    Thank-you Pulisa that means a lot to me. As soon as I told my partner how I felt and why, I started to cry and then the anxiety just melted away. I'm still concerned but I know everything will be fine no matter what transpires in the future. Yes we do have a wonderful relationship and the thought of one day loosing him just sent me into a spiral. We would always look after each other. Now that we've talked about it I feel far more calm and relaxed.

    After the Drs appointment I'm having another counselling session, that's 2 in 1 week but I need it .

  2. #12
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    So maybe it's anticipatory anxiety or those deeper feelings becoming stronger the nearer the event? Or maybe a mix? Just like how so many of us spend weeks getting more worried about our perceived big event to often see the bubble burst days before and it reduces? I think mine does this because I'm sitting around unable to do anything about it but when the time comes I can now take action.

    I wonder whether your partner's movements in his sleep bothered you until now? I wonder if this is just a way for those deeper issues to find a way out by manifesting as fear about losing him and otherwise you wouldn't have considered any of this if there were no trip?

    I seem to recall you talking about ending a marriage that didn't work for years but now you were really happy with your new partner. Maybe there is a little bit of not wanting to lose something great that has only just started and thinking about your time of life and how it can mean more unexpected illness that could cut short the time you are loving, which you mentioned earlier when you said your risk rates go up. But equally there could be many happy years ahead of you both
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  3. #13
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    I did wonder whether this was all about the fear of losing him particularly as you had had an unhappy marriage earlier in your life.. Things are really good now so something bad must surely happen now that I am so happy?

    I'm certainly no psychologist but it looks that way to me.. Anyway, the most important thing is to see the doctor and go from there..Not long to wait now xx

  4. #14
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    Hi

    My husband of 30 years has the same and I went through the same as you about 5 years ago. He's 61 now. I was also getting clonked regularly. That may be when my HA started actually.....He now takes Clonazepam and is part of a study looking out for early symptoms of Parkinsons. There is a link - but it's not a dead cert he will go onto develop it and if he does, it could be decades away. I'm hanging on to that. Plus I keep on top of research into Parkinsons treatment (read something promising today) . So I know how you feel. But as I say - not ALL of these sleep disorder sufferers go on to develop anything nasty....x

  5. #15
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    WiseMonkey's partner has no official diagnosis yet though, Nicole. It's so far a diagnosis by Google but her partner has an appointment with his GP on Thursday.

  6. #16
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    Oh yes for sure. I'm sure they won't be able to diagnose anything other than the sleep disorder as for anything else they'd need a crystal ball.

  7. #17
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole0134 View Post
    Hi

    My husband of 30 years has the same and I went through the same as you about 5 years ago. He's 61 now. I was also getting clonked regularly. That may be when my HA started actually.....He now takes Clonazepam and is part of a study looking out for early symptoms of Parkinsons. There is a link - but it's not a dead cert he will go onto develop it and if he does, it could be decades away. I'm hanging on to that. Plus I keep on top of research into Parkinsons treatment (read something promising today) . So I know how you feel. But as I say - not ALL of these sleep disorder sufferers go on to develop anything nasty....x
    Hi Nicole,

    Thanks for your message, it was interesting to read, it's comforting to know that someone else has or is going through the same issues as me (and my partner). I've read that Clonazepam is used for this and I'm also aware that it's a Valium derivative and that it can be addictive. I have a few questions .. has it helped your husbands sleep pattern and how many years has he had the REM disorder? How was he diagnosed? Your Dr must be very astute to make the connection between the REM sleep disorder and Parkinsons or was he referred to a neurologist? It's reassuring to know that your husband hasn't developed anything yet and may not

    We went to see my partners Dr today and just talked about his sleep pattern. The Dr didn't mention REM behavioural sleep disorder (and my partner didn't mention it). We talked about this beforehand and he decided not to mention REM sleep disorder unless the Dr did. The Dr talked about night terrors and has prescribed a low dose of Amitriptyline (a tricyclic antidepressant) which can help sleep. So it maybe just night terrors or as I suspect (REM behavioural sleep disorder), either way there's not much else we can do at this point in time. My partner doesn't have any outward signs of anything neurological. I hope we can keep in touch some way as I see you don't accept private messages on this board.

    I'm so glad I was finally able to talk to my partner so at least he's aware of the connection between the two issues.

    I will ask my partner to return to the Dr's if the medication doesn't help his sleep.

    Thank you pulisa and Terry who have help support me through this also xx

    ps. You two are so right. I was in a bad marriage for 15 years then had another 15 years (by myself and on and off dating) before I met my partner in 2013. It was a month before my lovely dad passed away. Life is wonderful for us now and of course I wouldn't want to loose this or him. He's so like my dad, I love him to bits xx
    Last edited by WiseMonkey; 26-07-18 at 04:07.

  8. #18
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    Various sleep disorders are linked to neurological conditions....sometimes. If you research enough you will always find a link.

    I'm on a low dose of amitriptyline for chronic neuropathic pain and it does help with sleep but to begin with it can be very sedating so my advice to your partner would be to start taking it when he didn't have to get up early the next day.

    I can quite understand your fear about losing him especially as life has been far from easy for you. See how the amitriptyline suits him and if things don't improve then you can always go back for a second opinion...but give the amitriptyline a chance? Also the amitrip doesn't help constipation at all but I expect the GP warned him of this xx

  9. #19
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
    Various sleep disorders are linked to neurological conditions....sometimes. If you research enough you will always find a link.

    I'm on a low dose of amitriptyline for chronic neuropathic pain and it does help with sleep but to begin with it can be very sedating so my advice to your partner would be to start taking it when he didn't have to get up early the next day.

    I can quite understand your fear about losing him especially as life has been far from easy for you. See how the amitriptyline suits him and if things don't improve then you can always go back for a second opinion...but give the amitriptyline a chance? Also the amitrip doesn't help constipation at all but I expect the GP warned him of this xx
    My partners ami dose is 5 mgs, I've cut the 10mg tablets in half with my pill cutter! He will increase to 10mgs in a weeks time, so he will use them when he goes over seas. Being in single beds, I doubt his elderly mum will notice anything as she's deaf without her hearing aids at night

    Luckily, my partner only works part time from 12-4 daily so he doesn't have to get up too early.

    I asked about constipation and his Dr said not at this low level. I'm on Doxepin 10mgs for my CFS. It is a cousin of Ami and I have no issues with it at all. To be on the safe side, I've soaked some prunes for him to have with his porridge

    In regards to the REM sleep disorder, it's one of the first reasons mentioned so I didn't have to research much at all. This was quite scary for me.

  10. #20
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    Re: Partner has REM behavioural sleep disorder ... I'm so anxious

    Hi WiseMonkey
    To be honest - it was me that found the Parkinsons link so he probably mentioned it to the GP who then referred him (we had an excellent GP at that time). I think he was prescribed Amitriptyline to start with but then went onto the Clonazepam as I THINK this is a drug used for epilepsy so I assume they are trying to prevent the involuntary movement as well. But that's me trying to remember something I read a long time ago. I also think he will always have to take the Clonazepam, and increase the dose until it stops working. He's not had to increase it much so far but the plan is that when it's not working - he'll go on to melatonin. I try not to worry about it, as I say it's something that could happen in 10 years, 20 years or 30 years - or not at all! And as my husband says - he could get hit by a bus in the meantime!! But ..... anything that brings it to the forefront of my mind then makes me freak out for a day or 2. Then I calm down. Then something else triggers my concern. You know the pattern. Weirdly -the reason I came on the site was due to the symptoms I was having - the usual MS ones linked with anxiety, but also thought maybe I'VE got Parkinsons! I'm a newbie on here so probably haven't got my settings just right. I'll see what I need to do for DM - happy to support each other.

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