Have I got rectal cancer?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thank you for the replies everyone

I've sorted a few things out over the past few hours

- I'm going to do my A Levels at home through an open college course so I'm more comfortable and won't end up dropping out again

- I'm going to be taking the dog on daily walks

- I'm going to stop eating so much junk / comfort eating like BlueIris said

- I'll probably end up getting a job too but my mum said I can take things one step at a time

This is good to hear, Toby. Your parents must be very pleased to hear you are committing to these things.

Socialising can be hard but it does come with many benefits too. The same with work. Being isolated impacts on self confidence, self esteem, having a purpose, etc. Work is a good way to see you are more capable.

[Toby2000]

This is good to hear, Toby. Your parents must be very pleased to hear you are committing to these things.

Socialising can be hard but it does come with many benefits too. The same with work. Being isolated impacts on self confidence, self esteem, having a purpose, etc. Work is a good way to see you are more capable.

I don't know if any of this will work out now after recent events. If I'm going to teach myself A Levels I need to be committed and unfortunately the cancer worry has come back so my motivation for everything has vanished. I need a sigmoidoscopy ASAP. I might see if I can dig into my adult savings to get one if the GP says no when I see them at the end of the week to renew my prescription

[Toby2000]

Getting bound up after the runs is what tends to happen anyway. Don't expect it to be back to normal the next day because it may take a couple of days.

Eat yoghurt. The probiotics in it will help your GI overall.

I know I was practically asking for the runs/bowel issues, I literally had

5 SMALL CHOCOLATE BARS
3 SMALL COCONUT TARTS
2 SMALL/MEDIUM SIZED STEAK PIES FOR DINNER
3/4 BAGS OF CRISPS
1 FAMILY SIZED LEMON MERINGUE PIE
3 APPLES
2 CHEESE/BEAN/SAUSAGE BAKES

throughout the day before going to toilet. The lemon pie was the worst, I just kept saying I'll have a bit more until it was gone

I truly am a comfort eater and it's so bad

I just don't understand the blood. I'm terrified that I ate so much that I made a polyp bleed or a tumor

I regret eating all that now because I wouldn't have seen the blood had I just eaten a normal amount and not tried to stuff food down me to make me go out of frustration (the apples and cheese/bean bakes)

It really did hurt intensely at times on both sides of my abdomen when I was holding it in especially maybe I made my bowel wall bleed a little or something.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I don't know if any of this will work out now after recent events. If I'm going to teach myself A Levels I need to be committed and unfortunately the cancer worry has come back so my motivation for everything has vanished. I need a sigmoidoscopy ASAP. I might see if I can dig into my adult savings to get one if the GP says no when I see them at the end of the week to renew my prescription

Look at the last few months and see how many times you could have been studying vs how many times you were consumed. Was there time to be working?

The trouble is you are on meds and starting therapy and you have a choice to try to add routines back into your life or stop moving. Studying at home will reduce your stressors regarding socialising but it does require some commitment. However, you will find you can dig into the learning and it will help move your focus away from your fears.

As far as tests go, you know what we think. It's a waste of money and any doctor should turn you away.

Sit with this. Give it time. You've had this repeated cycle many times over the course of this thread alone. How many tests would you have paid for by now? Even having a full body scan of everyday becomes out of date the next day and the subconscious can easily tell you a cancer has started after so you need another full body scan.

[Toby2000]

Look at the last few months and see how many times you could have been studying vs how many times you were consumed. Was there time to be working?

The trouble is you are on meds and starting therapy and you have a choice to try to add routines back into your life or stop moving. Studying at home will reduce your stressors regarding socialising but it does require some commitment. However, you will find you can dig into the learning and it will help move your focus away from your fears.

As far as tests go, you know what we think. It's a waste of money and any doctor should turn you away.

Sit with this. Give it time. You've had this repeated cycle many times over the course of this thread alone. How many tests would you have paid for by now? Even having a full body scan of everyday becomes out of date the next day and the subconscious can easily tell you a cancer has started after so you need another full body scan.

I desperately want to start my A Levels again but I'm scared that it won't work because I might start to think, what's the point, I'm going to die soon. I should put this out of the way until I get this sorted, if it ever gets sorted. That's what happened last time

I know I really have no choice but to sit with it, however, like I've been doing for almost a year now. Literally. It's just so depressing having to sit with it because in the mean time I have all these urges to google causing panic inducing thoughts

[pulisa]

Everything right now.

So you don't want to do any form of work. You'd rather not.

[MrsEd]

Toby, are you having any therapy? I vaguely recall you talking about it. I had a telephone consultation with IAPT for CBT yesterday, i only refered myself last tuesday so they are working quickly.

[Toby2000]

Toby, are you having any therapy? I vaguely recall you talking about it. I had a telephone consultation with IAPT for CBT yesterday, i only refered myself last tuesday so they are working quickly.

I had the call but after that they said it would take a while

[Toby2000]

So you don't want to do any form of work. You'd rather not.

I was hoping to get things back on track because I thought this worry was over but then this happens. I can barely find the motivation to leave the house never mind go to work where I'd just be thinking about cancer

[pulisa]

"This" is self-induced and blown up out of all proportion to keep your issues current. Any therapist would tell you that.