Have I got rectal cancer?

[Toby2000]

Exactly this. A private colonoscopy will possibly provide some temporary reassurance (and fatten a doctor's bank balance for a test he/she will very likely know you don't even need...) but will quickly fade courtesy of what ifs and lets remember Toby is also spiralling over other issues now and before. That won't change without treatment of mental health.

This one is different though, this worry affects everything and feels much more serious than anything I can snap out of, like I have with my other quick health concerns like the marks on my chests. Blood in the stool is just much more alarming especially when what doctors have told you doesn't align with facts: blood from hemherroids is supposed to be bright red? Why was this blood not bright red? Sure I may have had hemorrhoids a few times when I was passing a hard stool and bled on to the paper, fresh blood, but this happened after a loose stool, although I was straining, but still it wasn't bright red

[Toby2000]

Serious question, Toby: what would happen if you paid for the private sigmoidoscopy, got the all clear and then bled again?

I would definitely feel better because I know that any blood farther away than where the sigmoidscope can reach would turn the stool black or maroon, because it would mix in with the bile that colours the stool as it progressively hardens. A clear sigmoidoscopy would be enough for me to maybe worry about the blood but feel reassured because I know it can't be cancer or anything serious as it would've been found in the sigmoid colon, as that's where the tumor would be since I've had blood ON the stool not IN it

[Toby2000]

Exactly this.

Obviously it is up to each and every one of us which posters we engage with but I do not think that we are helping Toby in the slightest by induldging his re-assurance seeking.

It helps me loads, more than anyone could ever know, I feel so alone sometimes with this and NMP is something to stop me from falling completely. Sometimes it's a substitute for google

You're right though no one has to reply to me, some members opted out a while ago but that's fine. I probably would've opted out by now if I were everyone else. I know I'm annoying but to those who do help me and even those who don't, I hope you know that if you want to talk to me about anything, maybe bowel cancer related if you're worried about that, we'd have that worry in common, you can always message me.. we could help each other. But I'm SO grateful for any sort of advice given on here

[Toby2000]

I would just be happy if you got a job. Then you’d stop stewing in your room & listening to your mothers bowel movements.

No, I don’t think you need a colonoscopy, and you know you don’t need one.




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I will think about it for sure I'm just barely motivated to even set foot out of the house most of the time, hopefully therapy changes things

@ BlueIris, on that topic, I did look at those self help books but it feels like they're aimed at cases of worry that are less severe than mine. Everyday things. Blood in stool is surely more alarming, like there's no way to reason with that especially when the blood wasn't bright red

[BlueIris]

It helps me loads, more than anyone could ever know, I feel so alone sometimes with this and NMP is something to stop me from falling completely.

It might help you to feel better, Toby, but you absolutely haven't made any progress. I really worry about you and I wish you could get some respite from this, but it's getting to the point where I feel that I and all your other supporters on here might be doing you a disservice by not forcing you to confront this and work through it.

[Elen]

It might help you to feel better, Toby, but you absolutely haven't made any progress. I really worry about you and I wish you could get some respite from this, but it's getting to the point where I feel that I and all your other supporters on here might be doing you a disservice by not forcing you to confront this and work through it.

That was what I was meaning.

[Toby2000]

I just feel so alone in all of this, it feels like hell that's been dragged out over a year. Literally 8 days off a year

[BlueIris]

You're lonely because you don't have real social connections; your HA has got so huge it's swallowed your entire life.

[Toby2000]

You're lonely because you don't have real social connections; your HA has got so huge it's swallowed your entire life.

I just feel so sick and tired of everything, when I'm indoors it's doom and gloom but when I'm outdoors it's also doom and gloom because I feel sad about what my life has come to and thinking about the symptoms and the possibility of cancer overwhelms me so much that I feel the need to retreat. I can never really win with this

[Toby2000]

There are around 2,100 people under the ageof 50 diagnosed with bowel cancer every yearin the UK, including 38 people aged 19 or under

- Bowel Cancer UK

There are 7.73 million 10-19 year olds living in the UK

That means as a 10-19 year old, annually you have a 0.0004% chance of getting bowel cancer

38 people is barely any compared to the 40,000 people in total getting it each year in the UK

I shouldn't be worrying statistically but what if I'm one of those 38 unlucky people?