Have I got rectal cancer?

[Toby2000]

I’m sort of feeling okay but my bowels definitely aren’t right

I had slight diarrhoea earlier but not much came out and now I’ve eaten a lot and I feel like I’m gonna need to go soon but I won’t be able to or it’ll be diarrhoea and that can be as bad as blood if it persists all holiday ughhhh

I want to go home already it’s exgremely hot and I’m just so miserable, I don’t feel like anything can or will fix me. I would be enjoying myself if I wasn’t so focused on going to toilet and eating every bite of food with caution- also I’m scared of other people knowing Im having a number 2 which makes it all worse

Thank you both for your well wishes though (PS. Pulisa your reply did make me laugh in the airport)

[Scass]

Toby, it’s ok to feel anxious and worried and very out of your comfort zone. You certainly wouldn’t be the first person with anxiety to feel very nervous abroad. You’ve done brilliantly to get there, and you just need to try and keep distracting yourself by this beautiful city.

I remember 2 holidays when I was a few years older than you that I feel I completely ruined because of my anxiety.

You have the tips and tools to try and relax into it. You’ll be ok, try and make some good memories ok?

And yes, it’s so hot isn’t it. It makes me miserable too, but I bet there are many more air conditioned places in Barcelona than England.

What’s the plan for tomorrow?

[Toby2000]

Yeah this has absolutely wrecked this holiday and I knew it would- tonight has been the worst night in ages for me, I almost lost my appetite completely just thinking about the possibility of colon cancer- I even turned down desert and that’s not normal for me

This has taken over my life, period, and I genuinely believe I’m terminally ill- all I want is to be at home facing the reality rather than faking that I’m alright, I’m away with various family members as well as close ones and I can’t ever tell them how I feel “Oh by the way, I’ve been seeing blood for about a year and I’m deeply depressed, hows your pizza?”

And yeah it’s incredibly hot. Everyone is sweltering- not sure how I’m gonna sleep tonight

[KK77]

You've only just arrived!

Try to relax and participate with others. Your perception of being ill is just that - there is absolutely no evidence of anything other than IBS symptoms.

It is your choice whether you try to enjoy this holiday or be miserable.

[Scass]

And yes, you’ve only just got there. It’s not ruined until you let it ruin you ok?

Can’t believe you turned down dessert!

[Carys]

It is your choice whether you try to enjoy this holiday or be miserable.

This is true, even people with terminal cancer go away and enjoy a holiday!

[Toby2000]

Thank you all, I had a much better second day, yesterday I went ages without sleep which is why my mood was lower I think

Well, better up until a minute ago when I went to toilet, wiped, saw dark red bits on the paper and the same bits were on the stool that looked like blood- but it was from a huge lasagna I had last night, definitely pepper or something red from it. I always see those bits after eating pizza or lasagna or anything with dark red sauce or veg. I hope it wasn’t blood- on top of the stool it looked a tiny bit marbled but when I pulled a few bits, out came solid red bits/veg.

My appetite is also back- I had 7 ice cream sandwiches on top of meals

Of course I’m still worried about the small chance of the red being blood, although I’m sure it was red bits from the lasagna, and I’m still worried in general but things have been much much better today. I was able to push my worries back a little and just get on with the day

[Carys]

You asked advice about your holiday and your HA, and were told by everybody to stop looking/checking and analysing your poo.

I hope it wasn’t blood- on top of the stool it looked a tiny bit marbled but when I pulled a few bits, out came solid red bits/veg.

However, you are not only looking and discussing its contents but pulling it apart ! You are doing everything you shouldn't be doing. (The body doesn't digest peppers and tomato skins well, people have them in their stools!!!)

I am glad you are feeling a bit better, but trust me, if you carry on looking, checking and generally detailing the contents of your waste it'll be a matter of time before you are very scared again. (for little reason)

[BlueIris]

There have to be better things to do in Barcelona.

Also, if you eat that much junk food you're going to carry on having symptoms. There is no miracle solution that allows you to be free of bowel symptoms whilst still eating unhealthy foods to excess.

[nomorepanic]

My appetite is also back- I had 7 ice cream sandwiches on top of meals

and you wonder why you have issues