Originally Posted by
glassgirlw
Wow this has been a long, and really informative, read!!
Toby - I’m so sorry for you that you’re still stuck in this spiral. I know you have real symptoms, blood in the stool would worry many of us - however that being said, you know deep down why you have blood in your stool - hemmies caused by a god awful diet regimen. And I say this as someone with a god awful diet regimen lol. I also know that your response to that will be “but they can’t know that for sure because they didn’t test me farther up” or “I don’t have this, or don’t have that, so it must be this”. And I can absolutely add nothing else to this conversation that hasn’t already been said. I think you’re scared of going to the GP because you’re worried about what they might find (even though I think all of us know there’s nothing to find). I also think that your Asbergers plays more of a role than you think it does. My brother is on the AS. One is low functioning Autistic and one is extremely intelligent with severe social issues. So I’m absolutely aware of the struggles that poses for you.
I have pretty bad HA myself. I catastrophize and avoid the doc like the plague. Almost sends me into a panic to think about going. But I still pursued college and just got my bachelors degree a year ago (I’m 40, took me over 10 years!!!) and I work full time. I force myself to leave the house and put my mind to other things. It can be done. I know you think your situation is different - but I’m here to tell you that ALL of our situations are different. We just may not ALL come on this forum to detail our ilown individual issues like you have. But the longer you let this go on, and continue to tell yourself that “this is just the way you are” or “you can’t do things any differently”, the longer this continuous spiral is going to last for you. And I feel bad for you - for all that you’re going to miss out on in life because of it. I wish you the best, and healing in 2020.