Have I got rectal cancer?

[Toby2000]

Pkstracy, I understand where you’re coming from now. It must be frustrating seeing the same thing get repeated over and over. I’m so sorry that you tried to take your own life, that’s awful, obviously you have better people to talk to than me but my private messages are always open if you’d want to talk about your issues- just in case there’s no one else online or whatever and you need to vent to someone. I hope I can get this sorted soon and then get my life back. Thank you for showing concern and I truly hope you get better too

[nomorepanic]

Toby - we do all care for you and want the best for you as I said in my PM.

We have seen patterns like this before and just worry for you - no harm is meant when we are harsh in our replies.

HA is a real beast that can rob you of a normal life and it is best to treat that now before it really gets a grip on you. I know you say you want to wait until you have had the colonoscopy before getting help but in my experience it is best to treat the anxiety now as once you move on from this health concern you will get another one.

[BlueIris]

Just a few quick points I wanted to raise here.

* The vast majority of forum posters here are suffering from mental health issues of some sort. That means that sometimes they'll reply in haste, or be more harsh than they mean to (I'm guilty of that myself!)
* I think a lot of people are worrying about you right now because your anxiety seems to be getting worse.
* Being nonfunctional through health anxiety doesn't have to be a default state. Less than a year ago, I could barely eat or sleep if my husband got a cold because I was convinced it was cancer, EVEN IF I HAD THE SAME COLD MYSELF. However, a couple of days ago I had a rectal bleeding episode of my own. I won't deny I was nervous, but I knew I was prone to piles and I'd been eating a lot of junk food, so I waited to see if it would pass, and so far it's looking as though it has.

I guess that what I'm trying to say is that symptoms that don't physically prevent you from living your life don't need to cause you to put that life on hold, and if you work on getting a handle on the anxiety they won't any more.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Toby the reason why I am being harsh and why it was harsh is because after 109 damn pages, despite what the doctors have said, what we have said you won't listen to reason, yes we all have issues, I had a scare not too long ago thinking I had rectal cancer myself, got checked listened to advice from what others have told me on here and let the matter go, I deal with anxiety every day and have a lot of the symptoms you do, but I don't keep on posting, I have accepted that I have anxiety, and that it can cause issues and a lof people have told you it sounds like IBS, and keep asking if you have been tested you tend to ignore those that offer help you only answer if you can come back with yeah I think you're right, but I think it could be this, and then you start the cycle again, it can get frustrating, for both parties, after this post I won't respond to you anymore, or this thread. I have mine own issues to work on and have tired to help you, even going out of my way to get information from a friend who is an oncologist and I posted her information for you, and the check list used by the cancer society for you. None of us Enjoy being the way we are, but we have asked you several times, have you been checked, have you told the doctor all your symptoms, have you asked for an ibs test, or whatever they do, they won't give you a colonoscpy as they feel nothing is wrong trust me if they did they would be sending you for tests, once I was having bad stomach issues when I was your age, my stomach was pulsating think AA, the doc rushed me in and checked even though it's very rare for a woman to have AA, it was freaking build up of stool I hadn't pooped in awhile , toby once I pooped blood it looked like a freaking slaughterhouse, I freaked, went to doc, told me I had an anal fissure, you know how it acted the same way yours did, I do have odd shapped poop, loose stool, mucus, black flecks, food in my stool, floaters, I am 46 and have no cancer or IBS , it's all due to piles, and anxiety, I tried to kill myself two weeks ago, trust me you aren't the only one that likes living like this, but I never hinted at how I felt , what I am going through, I listen to the advice on here, and don't keep going in the circle because life is more precious and so many more things out there to do than worrying about every little thing that is going on with our bodies, even though we have been told over and over, that it's not what we fear, I have a freaking lump on my back that I have had for ten years, first though was cancer, freaked and got anxious, went to doc to have it checked he moved it touched it and said oh it's a fat build up a lipoma, harmless, if it bothers you down the road we'll remove it. I know people think what I said was harsh, but perhaps it was time it was said, he won't listen to anyone and if he does it's a yeah maybe you're right, okay, then right back in the sprial, I don't mind helping people on here, but if they don't help themselves and listen to others and the doctors, I don't see what more can be done. Hopefully he gets the colonoscopy which as I thought he said he had one done and they found nothing, anway I am out of this thread now.

Sorry to hear things got so bad you took such a harmful action against yourself. Given this I'm going to assume things are still very raw right now and it may colour some of the reaction here.

There are more forms of mental health disorder that revolve around health e.g. Somatoform Disorders where the person is more convinced they need to prove it but things like rare Munchausens have been hijacked by the media so we know less about them. But given what I've seen I would be putting my money on OCD colliding with his Autism. We know little of Toby's place in that spectrum but it may influence his insight.

I hope you are getting plenty of support right now and please reach out if you need it o here because people will naturally want to help you.

[pulisa]

Toby, just remember that you are not anaemic, you have put on weight and your doctor is referring you as a routine case for an appointment with a gastroenterologist. He or she will assess your symptoms and will make a decision on whether or not to investigate further. No GP would delay making an urgent referral if there were red flag symptoms-your age is irrelevant. You can research articles on young adults having bowel cancer missed by the GP as much as you want but this is your choice and you can say it's not your fault because you have OCD but you can make a stand now and decide to stop this harmful behaviour and wait for your hospital appointment when YOUR situation will be assessed.

[Toby2000]

I’m sorry this reply is late, I took a few days off the forum and googling altogether. I think the meds have started to work because recently I haven’t been as worried.

I reiterate everything everyone else has said above Pkatracy if you’re reading this and again Im sorry that I lashed out at you.

And thank you to everyone who gave me advice or said nice things etc above, I can’t teply individually now because I’m on my phone and Im quite sleepy

Things just started again mildly today because I noticed that today every so often, and yesterday even, Id get a mild vague achey pain on the lower left hand side of my abdomen for like 2 seconds in the same spot every time, like 10-20 times

But overall I’ve been less convinced of cancer since my last visit.. I just don’t want to jinx it of course. I’m still a little scared but I can see how irrational I’m perhaps being at times now. As I say this may be the meds starting to kick in?

[Toby2000]

Something else I was meaning to ask is... how much mucus is normal? Because most of my stools seem to often be covered in usually yellow mucus, sometimes not. Also when I did the finger test thing last week there was always mucus on my finger. I was quite worried about that the other day after a BM

[MyNameIsTerry]

Toby, I often see mucus and have been doing so for probably twenty years. Don't let anxiety find another "in" to kick the cycle back off.

It could be the meds are kicking in but it could also be the side effects are reducing. Anxiety can often be cyclical too. Accept it as a better time and try not to invite it back in, which is a part of the battle in recovery.

[glittery]

Hey there Toby,

I must admit that you are a very lucky person because so many people care for you here! You have no idea how great that is, and it shows how great every single person commenting on this forum is. They are making sure every now and then that you feel okay, and I feel great that such forums exist for caring people to come together and help each other

I completely understand where you are coming from. Anxiety can cause us to overthink every little symptom, but you have to tell yourself that not everything that comes to your mind has to be true, anxiety can play mind games. Every time you overthink, write down in a piece of a paper the reasons why you think you do not have colon cancer, and read them out loud every time such thoughts come to your mind. You know at your age, and even at my age, colon cancer is not something that we should worry about. Life is too short, and I am worried when we get old, we will look back and think "huh? So I spent 70% of my life worrying about something I did not even have?" xD

I am not sure if you read the book The Alchemist, but there is a quote I really love in that book, which is "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself."

Much Love,
glittery

[Toby2000]

Toby, I often see mucus and have been doing so for probably twenty years. Don't let anxiety find another "in" to kick the cycle back off.

It could be the meds are kicking in but it could also be the side effects are reducing. Anxiety can often be cyclical too. Accept it as a better time and try not to invite it back in, which is a part of the battle in recovery.

Thanks, I’ve noticed in the past few days that I haven’t seen that much mucus but I just don’t understand why I’m suddenly seeing it at all after never seeing it before in my life

I think the meds are kicking in, I feel calmer about everything.. still worried but less depressed. I’m still waiting for that referral though