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Thread: Have I got rectal cancer?

  1. #1311
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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    I feel your anxiety is still using this thread as a platform to further ruminate, speculate and seek reassurance, and has no intention of stopping. What we are saying is that this is now totally counterproductive for your recovery.

    Your anxiety will continue to flog a dead horse, scrape the barrel, clutch at straws and split hairs over semantics (as it is doing now). Nothing will be "definitive" enough when your HA is smouldering away beneath the surface, being fuelled by your constant rumination and reassurance-seeking behaviour.

    Start a new thread on your "recovery". You have grown used to advice and support here, and no one can take that away from you, but let go of this thread, which is now dead as a dodo.
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  2. #1312
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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    My only doubt with hemorrhoids is:

    Internal hemorrhoids are always pretty close to the anus.

    How come I'm only seeing it on my stool and not on the paper if it's hemorrhoids? Surely it should be dripping or going on to the paper too since the hemorrhoids aren't far away from the anus at all?

    I did see it on the paper once as you all know but just the once so I assume I've had them at some point... after that it was ONLY ever blood on the stool, so I'm confused.

    --

    I know this is annoying but in my head it doesn't make much sense :( I'm too analytical

    Obviously I have no choice now, since there'll be no further testing, to try and accept the diagnosis but I'm just struggling to do that. I am seeing my GP very soon so I can talk things over with them and hopefully they'll clear everything up, maybe he left a note on my record explaining what the cause was in more detail? I don't know.. it's just if it's hemorrhoids bleeding, why do I never see blood on the paper anymore since logically, it would drip down?

    Thank you for the advice. I'm trying to get towards the "recovery" stage of it all but I have to try and accept this first and foremost because as I say, this is the end of the line in terms of testing unless of course I've got cancer and things only get much worse. Fingers crossed that they don't.

  3. #1313
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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    Toby, enough with the unlesses. You're wasting your life on this and you'll never get the time back.

  4. #1314
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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    You can't look at it as a process that always yields the same result. I've had mine over two decades but bleeding is very sporadic. And I've never seen it on a stool. Both are possibilities but not givens. This is All-or-nothing thinking about symptoms, you are questioning why they aren't fixed. That's an unreasonable belief. The focus now is moving forward. The questions will persist until the time they stop bothering you and that time comes as a result of moving forward with recovery work. Stop yourself analysing, put strategies in place to remove that thinking time. The more you ask questions about symptoms now it's pure compulsion and counterproductive. Now it's about telling yourself there is no need to question further, reducing negative reactions (and thinking styles) and tolerating the unpleasantness that creates that you can't seek reassurance.
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  5. #1315
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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    OK, this is going to be my final word on POO and Haemmerhoids Toby, then we concentrate on what you are going to do to address your BENIGN bowel issue, and sort out your HA.

    The reason why it says about blood on the tissue and in the toilet on the NHS site, is that MOST people do not check their POO to the ridiculous level you have !!! Therefore most people wouldn't see flecks and smears of blood on the poo. It can and DOES occur, and many places DO list that - as the hard stool passes the haemmerhoid it makes it bleed and the bowel motion can be smeared - particularly the final section that passes the haemmerhoid. If you aren't getting any on the toilet paper afterwards or dropping in the toilet, then that must mean that you are having very MINOR amounts coming off your swollen vein and a very small bit of blood on the poo itself ONLY. Therefore your situation is even less of a big deal than most people have, with bleeding from haemmerhoids as its not continuing to bleed after the bowel motion moves through.

    Even if you have trouble understanding the ins and outs of swollen anal veins - you CAN surely see that the specialist found NOTHING ELSE AT ALL OF ANY CONCERN. Nothing.

    You have wasted nearly a year, wasted time looking up conditions and throwing yourself into the pits of despair, had a miserable holiday and miserable Christmas - left college! and all for some, or rather one, pile. Think about that. Many many people reading this have probably had bleeding from them too, I know many have told you on this thread that they have. Personally I have a few times in my life, but not in recent years only when I was younger.

    There are no more ifs and buts, really. Anxiety probably remains yes, as its hard to just switch, but I just don't sense yet you are moving in the right direction to really address the problem here. This is a non-issue now, the thing you feared isn't there.

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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    Also, and I don't know what others think of this ? - but there are a few other people concerned about bowel cancer, bleeding and so on on NMP at the moment. Toby could actually give the benefit of his experience in finding out, nearly a year after starting with the fear, that he is now fine. Toby, you were convinced, adamant and you were wrong !

  7. #1317
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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by MyNameIsTerry View Post
    Now it's about telling yourself there is no need to question further, reducing negative reactions (and thinking styles) and tolerating the unpleasantness that creates that you can't seek reassurance.
    Absolutely.

    You show no willingness to move outside your comfort zone. You will feel uncomfortable and at times it can be unpleasant, BUT recovery doesn't happen on its own. You MUST start that process by challenging compulsions and resisting reassurance-seeking behaviour.
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  8. #1318
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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Carys View Post
    Also, and I don't know what others think of this ? - but there are a few other people concerned about bowel cancer, bleeding and so on on NMP at the moment. Toby could actually give the benefit of his experience in finding out, nearly a year after starting with the fear, that he is now fine. Toby, you were convinced, adamant and you were wrong !
    I actually pointed that out but I'm afraid the self absorbed nature of many sufferers is highly predominant and unwavering.

    The problem is, in this situation, there will always be someone to enable and feed the dragon and he's well aware of that.

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  9. #1319
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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    Thank you so much Carys and Terry and everyone else who replied. I barely got any sleep last night so I’m going to try and sleep now and Ill get to replying tomorrow but the replies I think have definitely made me realise what I needed to realise. I’m sorry I’m kinda just so tired. I’m glad that I get to live though, it seems,I never thought I would get to say that

    If I sleep now I’ll probably wake up at about 6 so that’s probably when I’ll reply

    I appreciate the help so much
    Last edited by Toby2000; 11-05-19 at 20:29.

  10. #1320
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    Re: Have I got rectal cancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fishmanpa View Post
    I actually pointed that out but I'm afraid the self absorbed nature of many sufferers is highly predominant and unwavering.

    The problem is, in this situation, there will always be someone to enable and feed the dragon and he's well aware of that.

    Positive thoughts
    I made a thread of over 50 or god knows how many accounts of people on here who said that they had blood and the cause turned out to be benign, to help reassure people the other day. That took me hours to go through pages and pages of posts

    And the other day I replied to something else on here?

    I was also actually going to make a thread about my story and how I most likely only have piles. That was always my plan if I turned out okay because I know how much positive stories helped me
    Last edited by Toby2000; 11-05-19 at 20:39.

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