Have I got rectal cancer?

[Toby2000]

I don't think you need to reply to anyone now, Toby. I'm sure we would all rather hear that you are concentrating on getting therapy and that you won't be discussing any more of your "symptoms" related to your diagnosed benign condition.

I'll feel rude if I don't

I understand the point of what the replies said which is the objective of them I guess

And yes I am getting therapy, or at least making an effort to try it

[Toby2000]

I know how difficult it is to let things go with ASD and you have the added bonus of interaction on here but it's not helpful interaction now. You have your diagnosis and it's a good one. You have to start making plans for what you are going to do now in "real life".

Yup I also have OCD which adds to the obsessive thinking patterns, like I HAVE to know everything about the rigid sigmoidoscopy test and understand the exact way hemorrhoids work so I can make sure my symptoms line up with it and everything, it's annoying

I find it helpful, I was more just updating you all on how things were going (out of habit and because I want to)

And I know.. I have a lot to think about. I dropped out of further education which sets me back and I don't know what I'm going to do in September. This worry just adds an extra huge weight onto all of that real life stuff and it would be an EXTREME relief if I could get rid of it for good and for sure, which is why I was saying I'll ask for a sigmoidoscopy just to clear up those nagging doubts

[Toby2000]

OH come onnnnnnnnn, Toby.......

I say this to myself every day

[Carys]

Then don't do it. You've had finality, had closure. Don't waste any more of the NHS resources.

[BlueIris]

And get yourself back to college so you don't sit stewing all day.

[Toby2000]

Don't waste any more of the NHS resources.

I don't view myself in a bad light or feel guilty for pushing for that referral, there have been people with the same symptoms as me who turned out to have golf ball sized tumors in their rectum

And I'll just ask because I want to focus on the things that matter but if I'm still worrying about my bowels then I can't do that, I want to eliminate the worry completely. Maybe it's slightly selfish but it's well within my rights to ask and if the GP sees fit, she'll book one. If not, then I'll just have to try and deal with it

[pulisa]

And you know that a flexible sigmoidoscopy only shows up part of the bowel and then you'll be wanting a colonoscopy for "absolute finality" and then a pelvic MRI "just to make sure" etc etc. If your GP is half decent he/she will politely show you the door (to therapy). Don't make excuses for your OCD/anxiety. We all know how it works and how you ultimately have to put a stop to all this no matter how much you want to keep it going.

[Carys]

This ^

[Toby2000]

And you know that a flexible sigmoidoscopy only shows up part of the bowel and then you'll be wanting a colonoscopy for "absolute finality" and then a pelvic MRI "just to make sure" etc etc. If your GP is half decent he/she will politely show you the door (to therapy). Don't make excuses for your OCD/anxiety. We all know how it works and how you ultimately have to put a stop to all this no matter how much you want to keep it going.

I definitely wouldn't, because back in July I bled fresh blood on to the paper and it dripped out slightly after, the furthest up the source of that bleeding could possibly be is somewhere in my sigmoid/descending colon where the blood is able to drip downwards to my rectum and onto the paper, rather than the fresh blood mysteriously traveling upwards through my ascending colon, down the descending, into the rectum and dripping onto the paper, which would make no sense.

So whatever the source, if there is one higher up and out of the view of a rigid sigmoidoscopy, a flexible sigmoidoscopy would be able to detect it

It's just about giving me the guarantee that I don't have it so I can start focusing 100% on studies rather than this fear creeping back or myself freaking out whenever I see blood. A scope is a guarantee, therapy isn't, although I am applying for that and asking about it when I see my GP on Friday

[pulisa]

You will never get that elusive 100% certainty though. Even my dad's post mortem was flawed.