Have I got rectal cancer?

[Carys]

As usual I guess....

[Fishmanpa]

We'll see when another photo of a rear passage appears or vividly descriptive writings of poo bits and pieces and extreme self examination behaviors appear

I don't recall that being posted on this thread ?

With 140 pages its no wonder! He posted a very graphic image of poo in this post and yeah... a butt spread which was removed by admin. My response to that was here.

This has been going on since last July. 140 pages of panic, extreme self examination behaviors and reassurance seeking to no avail. A conclusive scientific medical test affirmed what everyone has been saying for 10 months and it didn't help! He literally questioned the results and was not reassured when he posted the results. At this point, as hard as I try, I just can't see how continuing this would be beneficial

I'm truly glad to read Toby say he's seeking help and I hope to hear what happened at the GP appointment as I asked previously as well as hearing about the first appointment date for CBT.

Positive thoughts

[Carys]

I thought we were agreeing to disagree ?

140 pages of panic, extreme self examination behaviors and reassurance seeking to no avail.

You see 'no avail' and I see 'progress'. Sometimes progress takes steps forward and smaller ones backwards, there are ups and downs and blips along the way, recovery doesn't always go in simple straight lines. There is no time-scale on this IMO, although we all know that sooner rather than later is preferrable. I also have the opinion that Toby has a right, like all other long-term posters seem to have, to continue on a thread he has created if he wishes. This is clearly an important outlet for him at this time, when he isn't receiving professional help. In my opinion Toby is more receptive and has better manners than all other long-term posters (we know who they are), in that he responds to each member, he considers what it said and he is trying hard to make that forward motion towards recovery. He has already started medication and referred for therapy. There are no arguments on this thread, and I don't see that other members should have the right to request a thread being closed. People who don't like the thread don't have to post on it.

As for the poo pics and the butt cheek spread - well I had no idea, I admit to not seeing it (luckily) !!! Well, yeah, that WOULD be inappropriate.

I know everyone won't agree with me, and I know a few people thing the thread should be closed - as there has been a resolution in that TOby has a diagnosis, but if it were that simple a problem then all people with HA would be 'cured' by being told there is nothing wrong. We KNOW that isn't the case, we know the way this goes.....doctors aren't trusted, tests aren't enough and another illness takes its place. TOby doesn't understand and hasn't rationalised all this yet.

[Fishmanpa]

I thought we were agreeing to disagree ?

With a caveat now and again

Positive thoughts

[Toby2000]

IMO, at this point (and prior), the thread is an enabler as are many of the responses. Its acting as a shield to protect the dragon. We'll see when another photo of a rear passage appears or vividly descriptive writings of poo bits and pieces and extreme self examination behaviors appear

Toby, I am curious though. You saw the doctor yesterday. What happened at the appointment? I imagine they refused the flexible sigmoidoscopy? What was explained about your test result and hemorrhoids? Did you discuss ways to improve your diet and what were they? I do think its great you self referred yourself for CBT but I am curious why you self referred as I thought that you would discuss your anxiety and that would be done through your doctor and perhaps discuss meds as well?

Looking forward to seeing the first therapy appointment date!

Positive thoughts

If you don't want to read about poo, why are you on the "IBS, IBD, Bowel, Stomach problems" section of the forum? What do you expect?

I didn't see the Doctor today, I'm going next week because I had 6 tablets left to get through. I was gonna go on Friday because I wanted to see her urgently about the sigmoidoscopy but I gathered that could wait.

And last time I went, or the time before, the Doctor gave me a sheet of paper to self refer. I still had it.

[Toby2000]

Sounds like a big clue in there then.

No one expects change right now and yes I know what you mean as success is about getting further on BUT you could shift to a more positive leaning thread that looks more at progress. Some people on here have long running support threads but they talk about how they are pushing forward as well as the anxiety side.

I think so too, it's just frustrating because I know I should be needing to know but I'm just not going

Yeah I'll have to work towards it but I'm still having nightmares about cancer and awful symptoms so it's all still affecting me quite badly

[Toby2000]

Close the thread? Why? Toby is inching forward and its all part of his story. There are people on here who come back for years and years with the same old guff on new threads, but at least all Toby's story is on one thread and censoring his content here seems unfair. There is no arguing on the thread, Toby is kind, appreciative and responsive to suggestions - he is one person who is starting to truly gain from this forum unlike a huge number of repetitive posters. When the time is right I believe he will reduce his time here.



I can see that at this point. I don't like the idea of forcing you to move at a pace you aren't happy with when you are making so much progress! However, I do see why people are talking about a positive moving forward thread....as its symbolic to them. Closing a thread doesn't just make stuff go away, it will still be there and probably come out on another thread instead.

Thanks Carys for understanding

Yeah I feel like some people (not everyone, more just one person in particular) are more interested in just "shooing me on" and getting rid of me. I just don't feel like my story is a success story, I'm still worrying and having nightmares, I still wake up feeling awful every day. Symptoms that sound simple to one person is absolute torture to deal with for me

I get it's frustrating to many people but we should remember that this forum is dedicated to mental health and everyone is different and it's not just going to go away. I'm working on it but it'll require patience

[Toby2000]

I really don't want to cause arguments here, this is just a thread for me to vent and log how I feel because putting your thoughts down somewhere and getting the opinions of other people is better than just keeping it all to yourself

I'm super grateful whenever someone replies, no one has to. I just want you all to know that I really appreciate it because no one in real life (my mum) really understands it like you all do, which is natural because she doesn't have HA or much experience with anxiety (well she does with anxiety but not anxiety that affects everyday life)

But if you don't like it, me or if you disagree with me or are trying to force me to change "Just like that" then I don't think you should be concerning yourself with this thread because I'm just not perfect

I'm making a start on things already with this therapy and will be asking if I can go from 25 mg of Sertraline to 50 mg of Sertraline next week

[Fishmanpa]

Yeah I feel like some people (not everyone, more just one person in particular).... this forum is dedicated to mental health

Thanks for calling me out. I feel special (if you recall, Admin moved this from the HA section to here)

This forum is called "No More Panic" for a reason. While its comforting to know there are others that understand and it can be cathartic to write out your thoughts and fears, its meant to help people recover. Otherwise, it would be called "Feed Your Dragon - Tea and Sympathy for Anxiety Sufferers". There are resources and tips that it seems no one reads or takes in when they do. For many, its just a public blog and a source for reassurance.

Some members actually do take on the advice and move toward recovery and healing. That's what its about. While some stay and help, we don't see many as most of those members in recovery move on from the forum as they see it as detrimental to their recovery. One such member started a Facebook group dedicated to recovery... No reassurance allowed. I'm sorry you feel the way you do but if I see someone totally out of the realm of normalcy, I'll point that out and advise real life professional help (which I've done from the beginning). If I see something as detrimental to recovery, I'll point that out (Dr. Google is universally detrimental here). Know that I'm doing so with your best interests in mind.

I look forward to seeing your posts (and thread) on how you're "working at it" and I'll be one of the cheerleaders when you take steps forward.

Positive thoughts

[BlueIris]

With respect, Toby, it's possible to discuss bowel issues without being quite so graphic? Not saying that the thread should be closed down or that you're not making great progress because you are, but sometimes when I click into threads - yours and others - I run into way more detail than I was expecting.