Have I got rectal cancer?

[Toby2000]

You're not in that 0.1%. We know this because you've had a sigmoidoscopy and normal bloods and you already have your diagnosis. Imagine what the odds would be of having CRC at 18 that wasn't picked up by sigmoidoscopy? Rhetorical question, don't google it! I'm sure you see my point though.

True but it was only a rigid sigmoidoscopy and checked only the rectum and beginning of the sigmoid colon

As this (non graphic) diagram shows: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OPJprJ07zU...endoscopes.jpg

Some of the blood has been fresh bright red so doctors said the cause would be very low down, and they just found a hemorrhoid which would explain it, but some of the blood didn't look so classic hemorrhoid style of fresh, at least in my opinion. Doctors don't seem too phased as long as the whole stool isn't actually colored red or black but I believe this is just old fashioned textbook black-and-white thinking

[Toby2000]

That’s brilliant!

When I gave up smoking I set myself goals that would help me. I took it urge by urge, and whenever the urge took me I would do something else instead. It takes a while to train yourself out of your addictions.

Thanks! And yeah I understand that, I'm just trying to go full on cold turkey

[MyNameIsTerry]

We don't want to see pictures, Toby. That's about reassurance seeking and trying to get All-or-nothing thinking style answers.

Keep going with stopping yourself Googling. Do other things when you feel the urge, at least 15 mins on an alternative activity is often recommended to pass through a compulsion and that is easily applied to this type of compulsion.

With the 0.1% issue use a Thought Record and write it out. Also, do a "positive what if" where you start with "what if" but use statements opposing your fear such as "what if I'm totally fine", "what if the doctor was right", etc. At least 3-5 of them.

[Dying_Swan]

I agree with Terry, pictures not required. They're not required because you've seen several GPs and a gastroenterologist who know how to investigate rectal bleeding and the ins and outs of various shades of blood.

I'm trying not to point out the obvious irony in you accusing your doctors of black and white thinking

Seriously though, try some of the things Terry has suggested. Thought records are really helpful.

[Carys]

I'm trying not to point out the obvious irony in you accusing your doctors of black and white thinking

Well yeah !

[Toby2000]

We don't want to see pictures, Toby. That's about reassurance seeking and trying to get All-or-nothing thinking style answers.

Keep going with stopping yourself Googling. Do other things when you feel the urge, at least 15 mins on an alternative activity is often recommended to pass through a compulsion and that is easily applied to this type of compulsion.

With the 0.1% issue use a Thought Record and write it out. Also, do a "positive what if" where you start with "what if" but use statements opposing your fear such as "what if I'm totally fine", "what if the doctor was right", etc. At least 3-5 of them.

It was just of how far the rigid sigmoidoscopy reaches, but I understand

Yep I'm still going with the no Googling and am now on Day 2 with it, somehow

It has helped a lot not Googling and it feels like a huge weight off my shoulders but I also feel a little weird because I feel like I'm just avoiding the possible fact that I might have a serious bowel condition

[Toby2000]

I agree with Terry, pictures not required. They're not required because you've seen several GPs and a gastroenterologist who know how to investigate rectal bleeding and the ins and outs of various shades of blood.

I'm trying not to point out the obvious irony in you accusing your doctors of black and white thinking

Seriously though, try some of the things Terry has suggested. Thought records are really helpful.

Thanks. Yeah I'm gonna try and think more rationally, one thing I am doing is if I get a random pain somewhere, usually I'd freak out but now I just say "What if it's just a random pain that everyone gets?" instead of "What if it's cancer?"

[Toby2000]

Oh of course something had to happen...

I had a curry earlier and I don't think it agreed with me

I went to the toilet and it was looser and then pretty bad diarrhea I guess

I wiped and it was all clear

and then I wiped again and I legitimately saw what I thought was a small streak of darker blood in a glob of mucus

and then again after a few more wipes I saw some definitely brighter red blood, rich but I can safely say it was bright red, streaked in some more mucus.

Both times were tiny streaks when wiping

I'm trying not to freak out. I think part of me is so used to it now and part of me is rationalizing it;

If it was a bleeding tumor why were there only two very small streaks and why wasn't the stool content colored red since a lot of it was diarrhea? So it would've easily mixed in

I didn't look in the bowl so I don't know actually if it got mixed in with the stool, it never has before, but I only saw the blood when I wiped, in some mucus that was leftover.

Of course now I'm scared that the mucus got transported from the location of a possible tumor along with the bowel movement but I suppose the fact it was on the paper is reassuring

I'm shaken for sure, but the blood at least the second time was 100% bright, rich, but bright red

I feel like the rationalizing it won't get me anywhere though because this problem is so ongoing :(

Last year in August, probably a year ago exactly, I saw a small tiny streak of blood in some diarrhea similarly to how I just saw it now. I guess it's linked to diarrhea

Am I going the right way about this? Can someone offer their thoughts on what I just saw?

[BlueIris]

I think you're still down that rabbit hole where you're over-analysing everything (anal pun not completely intended).

I get how tough it is, because I struggle to break my own self-checking habits. It's a lot easier to avoid Google than your own body. You have to train yourself to quickly rationalise the thoughts, though, then go away and do something more interesting. Having lots of interesting things to do in your life can really help.

[Toby2000]

Yeah, I’m not freaking out like I usually would though, I’m keeping it together and not googling

It can definitely help but I feel like I’m really avoiding the scary fact that I’m seeing blood, even in very small amounts

I just feel very on edge