Have I got rectal cancer?

[BlueIris]

Toby, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, but it strikes me that the skills you're going to need as an adult are precisely the ones you're avoiding acquiring.

Those writing jobs? They won't be coming your way unless you've proved you're capable of self-discipline and effective communication in all manner of different ways.

From bitter experience, I know that soft skills count for a heck of a lot more than qualifications. Please listen to your parents? They have your best interests at heart.

[Toby2000]

Toby, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, but it strikes me that the skills you're going to need as an adult are precisely the ones you're avoiding acquiring.

Those writing jobs? They won't be coming your way unless you've proved you're capable of self-discipline and effective communication in all manner of different ways.

From bitter experience, I know that soft skills count for a heck of a lot more than qualifications. Please listen to your parents? They have your best interests at heart.

But it's not what I want to do right now, I want to get good grades in my A Levels and then have to think about a job- I got an A* in English at GCSE which is the first subject I want to do this year and an A in Religious Studies at GCSE which I also want to do. I have potential and it's just what I want to do right now

And it may sound bad but if I got a job I would just end up not going anymore after a while, especially because of this bowel cancer worry which is just stopping me from wanting to do things, maybe as time goes on and if I'm still here and fine, I'll start to hopefully realise it's not bowel cancer and then try and get out there and rebuild my life but as of now, for me, it's just not realistic

[Scass]

Toby I can understand your parents frustration and worry. You have all this potential and you’re so bright but you’re basically hiding in your room. Perhaps this one to discuss with your counsellor?

Also, where does the money come from? They are your parents and they love you, but can you really expect them to continue to pay for this?
There’s no harm in getting a retail job to help pay your way. There’s no harm in trying college - just because it went wrong before doesn’t mean it still will? That’s your anxiety talking.

All these new worries are because you’re not recognising and dealing with the anxiety. Again, a good topic for your counsellor.

You’re having a blip, which is a pattern you get into. You’ll get out of it again but you need to think positively and be willing to continue to change your thinking. Not googling bowel concerns is great, now try and work on another thing maybe?

[Toby2000]

Toby I can understand your parents frustration and worry. You have all this potential and you’re so bright but you’re basically hiding in your room. Perhaps this one to discuss with your counsellor?

Also, where does the money come from? They are your parents and they love you, but can you really expect them to continue to pay for this?
There’s no harm in getting a retail job to help pay your way. There’s no harm in trying college - just because it went wrong before doesn’t mean it still will? That’s your anxiety talking.

All these new worries are because you’re not recognising and dealing with the anxiety. Again, a good topic for your counsellor.

You’re having a blip, which is a pattern you get into. You’ll get out of it again but you need to think positively and be willing to continue to change your thinking. Not googling bowel concerns is great, now try and work on another thing maybe?

No the money would come out of my own bank account

I'm working on my anxiety but it'll take time I guess

[BlueIris]

How did the money enter your account in the first place, though? This is what people are asking.

[Toby2000]

We're going to the hospital later to see my Grandma who's in while she's recovering from an operation, that'll be triggering, I'm scared I'll start worrying in there but I'll try my best

[Toby2000]

How did the money enter your account in the first place, though? This is what people are asking.

Money my parents have put in it since I was born. It's still my money now though, me paying to do my A Levels won't affect my parent's bank accounts

I just REALLY want to do this, it feels like a good compromise that's realistic for me and it'll keep me busy while avoiding the stress of real life

My parents are also more concerned about my social skills, not the money, because they want me to work 1 day a week which won't earn me enough to provide for myself or anything, they just think I'm lacking social skills

[brucealmighty]

'it'll keep me busy while avoiding the stress of real life'

This whole thread and most of your other posts summarised right there Toby

[Toby2000]

'it'll keep me busy while avoiding the stress of real life'

This whole thread and most of your other posts summarised right there Toby

Not exactly. I mean I just can't deal with that right now

[Dying_Swan]

Toby, you definitely have potential. You're obviously very bright and I don't think anyone means that you shouldn't be doing your A-levels. I'm with Terry in that I am not quite sure how your ASD impacts, though I do think structure will be important.

What worries me is avoidance of college/work etc because of your bowel concerns. It sounds like you're making plans which deliberately include plenty of time to sit and ruminate. I understand it, but it isn't very helpful. I know you don't want to work, but in the long run that's not terribly realistic. Please be a bit wary of living off your savings, or you'll suddenly find they've gone.

What about a compromise? You sit your A's but also commit to a small amount of paid or voluntary work. I'm not talking daily, even one short shift a week. It would give you an opportunity to improve your social skills, build up your CV, give you a breather from your worries, and keep your parents happy. Hell, you might even enjoy it. What are your plans, if any, for after A-levels? Uni? Work?