Have I got rectal cancer?

[brucealmighty]

There's never a perfect time to do anything, I guarantee that. You will spend your life almost doing that course, or nearly going for an interview because you may have cancer. Your current way of life is really no way of life is it? I've lost count of the trips, shows, jobs etc I've not gone to in case I panicked or showed myself up.
Anyway. Utterly pointless typing any more and we all know it.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I agree with Iris and Swan. A compromise of part time work would greatly benefit you whilst you do this because you will still have to face work at the end of this. If you are banking on dropping into your chosen career path and not having to face these things then that is veyr unlikely. By getting into some reduced level of work you will be facing things you worry about (and everyone worries about moving from education to work, it's natural) and doing so in a slower manner. It will also give you the soft skills and a CV.

Studying at home is better than doing nothing. Supplementing it this way would be a good compromise and I'm sure your parents would favour that...they likely are concerned about what we are saying in that you are only delaying the inevitable next step in life.

[BlueIris]

Thanks for understanding what I'm getting at, Terry. An empty CV gets less and less appealing to employers the older we get, and frankly makes them far less likely to be willing to take a chance on somebody on the spectrum.

Showing up when you're meant to show up, doing things on a schedule when you don't want to do them, communicating effectively - these are what employers want at entry level.

(Side note because I need to whine about this somewhere: I have what's likely to be a solidly to frantically busy 12-hour shift in an unhealthily hot room today, and I had a broken night from the heat last night. Work can really suck, but it has to be done even when it'll probably make you miss the first episode of Bake-Off )

[Toby2000]

Thanks everyone for the advice

I will end up getting a job at some point but I've made my mind up that FOR NOW I'm going to start out with A Levels

I had a long chat with the therapist about this... she agrees with my parents' point of view but I think before I try committing to a job I need to sort out this HA problem at least or wait for the bowel cancer thing to hopefully pass

And to fill you in on the HA.. yesterday I was worrying about a mole on my left cheek that I was convinced was melanoma. It bleeds when I pick at it which I sometimes do just out of habit and it's now healing but I thought the scab was because it was mutating etc, in its normal state it looks just normal I think and I've had it for a while, at least to my knowledge. Also I had a nightmare about enlarged lymph nodes

But I'm excited to commit to my A Levels and get on with them, I won't let anything interrupt them

[pulisa]

How will you have the discipline/knowledge to commit to teaching yourself A Levels? There's a huge gap between GCSE and A Level English.

You have been out of education for a while and have unresolved active HA. The internet will continue to be a minefield of potential disease.

[BlueIris]

I know it's tough, Toby, but you need to keep an eye on the broader picture. You need to be looking a few years ahead and working out how those A-levels will get you where you want to be. The subjects you've picked don't have a natural career path attached, so you'll need to have something extra to bring to the table.

[Toby2000]

How will you have the discipline/knowledge to commit to teaching yourself A Levels? There's a huge gap between GCSE and A Level English.

You have been out of education for a while and have unresolved active HA. The internet will continue to be a minefield of potential disease.

I'm really good at English, even outside of GCSE I know that it's "my" subject, and I've already had like a 3 month taster of what the subject is like at A Level when I went to college

I'll be able to manage, I plan on being very organised with it and there's access to an online tutor too

I know, but this bowel cancer worry is above all other worries because of the blood every few weeks, like there's actual evidence there- smaller health worries I would be able to cope with , even if I freak out a little, those worries won't stand the test of time like this one has

[Toby2000]

I know it's tough, Toby, but you need to keep an eye on the broader picture. You need to be looking a few years ahead and working out how those A-levels will get you where you want to be. The subjects you've picked don't have a natural career path attached, so you'll need to have something extra to bring to the table.

True but I still have the rest of my young adult life to figure that out, for me this is a realistic move in the right direction

[Dying_Swan]

The "bowel cancer thing" hasn't passed in over a year. Waiting it out isn't working. You have a haemorrhoid which will quite possibly bleed intermittently for a long time. What's to say you won't still be waiting for it to pass when you're 30? Please listen to what Iris is saying. Yes, you're great at English, but that isn't always enough. Speak to a few people who were turned down for jobs, or who didn't get in to medical school or Oxbridge, and they'll tell you how important external interests, basic work experience and soft skills are. Grades are important as a stepping stone, but universities and employers will and do look beyond that, especially in competitive fields.

What about a further compromise, and committing to starting your A-levels with an agreement that after the first term, you'll get a part-time job? That would give you a whole term to make a good start and work on your HA.

[BlueIris]

Thank you, Swan.

I have four A-grade A-levels, some with supplementary advanced papers on which I also scored top marks.
Didn't get me into Cambridge.

By the time I got a 2:1 from Durham I already knew I wasn't great at interview, so I picked a vocational Master's with a clear target at the end.

Even then, I struggled to find work. Grades won't get you anywhere near as far as great social skills and the ability to fit in.