Have I got rectal cancer?

[Toby2000]

I'm a little on the flip-side here, I haven't always had the best exam marks (I'm not the most book-smart tbh) but I've lucky that I can be very outgoing and I always worked well in teams. So I've been lucky enough with jobs so far. Toby, I really feel for you. I have been where you've been, I got better and recently I've slipped abit- but with hard work we can both improve on our mental-well beings!

Thanks, hopefully we both can

[Toby2000]

The opposite was often my gripe. We would have people who ticked the qualification boxes yet turned out to be very poor at the actual job. Some employers tick box and others look more towards what the individual can really do. Experience is what uni can't teach and with experience comes a lot of the soft skills side employers also like to see. But we had many excellent grads too.

But I agree with you & Iris, grads may walk into careers in some areas but in most they walk into call centres to get some experience of work before pushing up the ladder. They do in my city anyway. Relevant degrees might get you on an employers fast track grad scheme but most are just a measure of education and ultimately may add little to the business other than some prestige because the job might not need it (back to those dreaded call centres ). The grads find themselves sitting next to people without the qualifications and these people can be ahead of them because they bring the soft skills.

A top degree and a field that demands very clever people and less so those who understand how to communicate, work in teams, etc may be the case in some specialised fields but in much of business you need to deal with people.

If you push it all off for a couple of years then you are just back to where you are now except the clock is then ticking to find the jobs and you no longer have the options open to you to build up slowly. So, Swan's pledge to try for this after x period is something I would agree with.

Also, as I'm sure Iris will tell you, employers look favourably on any grad who has worked alongside education as it shows commitment. It's easier just turning up to lessons because it was like school but managing your own life by getting into work alongside it shows a willingness to do more.

Volunteering shows different things to employers too. Many of us are wage slaves just doing it for the money. Those who volunteer are doing it for a cause, something they believe in. Helping others for free shows a side of personality a paid job often doesn't. There is no mercenary element to it.

Good points, Terry

I'm not saying I'll be better than other candidates just because I may have my A Levels, they may well do the job better, that's very true. But people skills are their thing and English is my thing which is why I want to take advantage of it, rather than focus on people skills which aren't my thing? I think I'd be alright socially in an office environment or whatever, it's mostly working in a shop that I'd hate

I'll think about getting a job when the time comes, hopefully at that point this bowel cancer worry will somehow be over and I'll have the motivation again but this right now​ is just realistic for me

[Toby2000]

..Now that I think of it, why not call your local newspaper and ask about work experience with them? It can be a great way to learn about the workplace and make valuable contacts.

I may do that, at some point. I've thought about it before tbh.

[Toby2000]

I don't usually do this and would not recommend it as advice usually but you say you can't move on from this cancer fear because of some bleeding from the piles.

Why don't you discuss the options with a doctor about the piles. You can get them banded, injected or there are steroid suppositories you can use too.

I have intermittent bleeding from mine but cannot get them banded but they have bled for many years now so you could be in the same position in years to come like me, but I know what it is and don't worry about it.

Thanks NMP

I still have the Anusol prescription form but I'm scared to get it and take them only to find out that I'm still bleeding which will send me into an overdrive

Like I said to Dying Swan I think, these are my main concerns

Yup it's been 13 months now... 13 long, tortuous months. If it's a hemorrhoid I'm sure it will bleed intermittently but if it's going to bleed I really wish it would make my life easier and bleed FRESHER looking blood, maybe I have a warped perception on what "fresh" is supposed to look like, but the appearance of the blood is definitely red, it's not dark, but it's not the bright bright red that everyone describes. I HAVE had bright bright red blood and on the paper too, but why is the color varying? Could there be two different sources? It's these annoying questions that is keeping this worry alive, I'd be fine if I was bleeding bright red fresh blood on the paper but it's usually richer looking blood on the stool

^ I understand this is asking for perfection basically, and I probably have zero understanding of how blood should actually look from hemorrhoids but to my health anxiety, it just doesn't make sense

I'm just over the overthinking aspect of it and I know you've told me that the blood can be all shades of red but it just seems too sinister

[nomorepanic]

Anusol is not a steroid one. Why won't you talk to your doctor about it all?

[Toby2000]

Anusol is not a steroid one. Why won't you talk to your doctor about it all?

Is there a difference? What should I ask for?

Mine were apparently too small for banding, as the consultant said when I saw him

[nomorepanic]

Oh ok not sure you said that before.

I mean go and ask the doc what you can do with them, not necessarily ask for something specific.

[MyNameIsTerry]

^ I understand this is asking for perfection basically, and I probably have zero understanding of how blood should actually look from hemorrhoids but to my health anxiety, it just doesn't make sense

The subconscious isn't the decision making part of the brain that has the higher powers of what is called the executive brain. What the conscious, the executive decides is what we do, the rest is feelings.

Just like any other situation where head says one thing and feelings another, facts & reality aren't based on feelings.

It is important to keep to this path and not allow the conscious mind to veer off influenced by sensations that will pass. Your subconscious could be going mad about the wrong t-shirt being worn on the wrong day but it doesn't change the reality that it just doesn't matter.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Is there a difference? What should I ask for?

Mine were apparently too small for banding, as the consultant said when I saw him

Steroidal are stronger and for people who don't respond to first line treatments or have more advanced roids. I was given the basic Anusol and suppositories before my GP moved to a steroidal foam which was much better.

Like all medicine, you need it or you don't. Why should a GP waste money on other treatments until you try what works for most people? And Anusol you can buy from the pharmacy for less than the NHS prescription charge (if you pay it) therefore you save money and the NHS don't make a profit off you (they don't tell us when they make profits, only when we cost them ). At my surgery they have a poster up saying not even ask to see a GP about stuff like this until you have tried a pharmacist.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Good points, Terry

I'm not saying I'll be better than other candidates just because I may have my A Levels, they may well do the job better, that's very true. But people skills are their thing and English is my thing which is why I want to take advantage of it, rather than focus on people skills which aren't my thing? I think I'd be alright socially in an office environment or whatever, it's mostly working in a shop that I'd hate

I'll think about getting a job when the time comes, hopefully at that point this bowel cancer worry will somehow be over and I'll have the motivation again but this right now​ is just realistic for me

So, you are still hoping the HA goes away.

It's not about someone with A Levels vs someone with people skills, the point people like Iris are making is that when an employer looks at the application they will see someone who has just left schooling vs someone with a history that proves they can work. You have to crossover from education and this is likely why unis have so many other activities to provide experience (I never went so others can clarify this).

I have worked in offices most of my time and some retail. For offices you need comms skills, ability to work in a team and on your own, etc. For a basic office environment you can get through the door at the lower levels without these but there is little difference with retail as customer service is very important in office work too. Depending on the role, and sector, you may be working with both external and internal customers.

I expect you are thinking how retail would be hard because you are face to face? Then you will be ruling any call centre work out and many others roles.