Have I got rectal cancer?

[Toby2000]

People do have some weird fetishes. Then there are offshoots like Space docking and some weird thing with a bloke getting a BJ whilst on the toilet which has a name too. Whatever you do don't look up the 1 cup 2 girls thing. I can't say I've seen anything other than a bowel obsession in this thread though in a classic anxiety sense so perhaps not worth a worry other than a few bottles of brain bleach now needed after that type of Googling I hope you've got an adblocker installed because Andrex must be bombing you with ads by now

[Toby2000]

I think you will be very far off the kind of roids people with the extremes have. It's not like you have it sticking out of your bum.

In any case they just burn 'em off with a laser or band them when they get too large.

If you are not going to treat them you will have to learn to accept they will potentially bother you for years and years. You've not even had them that long so a few weeks of treatment and they might be sorted. But for the sake of being afraid them not going means cancer, which is completely illogical and you do know this, you are giving into your anxiety and allowing it to trap you into inertia and all the negative behaviours of anxiety disorders. You WILL have to deal with this because otherwise anxiety is very likely going to be there for a very long time.

You will also find yourself alone with this because there comes a point where those around you won't respond when they know you are refusing the simplest of everyday treatments for a common ailment. You are far from alone in this respect as we can see on NMP but I wonder where else refusal to treat medical conditions will crop up in your life and make you suffer more than you should? Will you be refusing to take an antibiotic because if the first course fails to clear up your chest infection you believe it must be lung cancer?

Anxiety is trying to keep itself alive. There is a point in these disorders where you are afraid to change because you fear how life will be without the anxious you. I've been through that and know others on here and in walk-in groups who have been through it too. It's a trick of the disorder trying to keep you safe in a bubble. All it leads to, if you don't break out of it and accept life can be different, is a life of anxiety.

Yeah, when I went to the specialist, he said that the one he saw wasn't big enough to require banding

[Toby2000]

Exactly. Anxiety wants to smother you in a comfort blanket whilst making you feel worse at the same time. It's a "better the devil you know" issue where it's saying even though you feel terrible what if stepping out of your comfort zone is slightly worse?

This is what therapy and learning about these disorders is about. You don't go flying off when in the height of emotion, you wait to calm down first. One thing you can do is use something like a Thought Record to examine your fear, or a Theory A/Theory B worksheet, when you are feeling better. Then when you struggle you refer back to that. Notice the only difference between you in both cases is right now you are in a panic. Why does panic mean you are more likely to have xyz and need test xyz? Panic has no bearing on it other than to make you want to rush in for that reassurance, it can't make you now have cancer when last week a calmer you knew you didn't.

I know exactly what you mean by that, like, I can't relate enough

I have to go to see my therapist this week so maybe more progress will be made in person

[Toby2000]

If you had cancer Toby you would be feeling so very ill, I should know I lost three family members to cancer, grandfather, great grandfather, and an Aunt. Within six months before their diagnosis, they were so weak and tired and loosing weight and sleeping all of the time, they went and got checked and yep cancer, as it progressed they got sicker, I see nothing in your postings saying what my family members experienced. I have had friends that had cancer and beat it, none of their symptoms were like what you are having and one had rectal cancer. Anxiety plays hell with our bodies and can cause all kinds of bowel issues, anal fissures and piles can cause bleeding as well as wiping too much, due to the walls of our anal areas being so thin, why it's recommended to use soft toilet paper or a bidet to clean the area. I know I said I wasn't going to post here any more in this thread but I do check to see how you are doing if you got help and or started living life. As for me I can't leave the house now due to my agoraphobia.

Wow I'm so sorry. Whenever I hear cancer stories and the symptoms don't match mine, my anxiety spins things so they match mine, like if I was feeling a little tired one day then oh, I'm fatigued, if I had a slight stomach ache one day, oh, I've been having stomach aches due to a tumor.

I've even started convincing myself of weight loss again, it's so annoying

Thank you for your reply, and again I'm sorry about your family members.. also I hope your agoraphobia improves!

[Toby2000]

I'm sorry my replies are so sluggish, I'm pretty tired and anxious and a little disorientated now

My latest "symptom" was this morning following a big BBQ to celebrate my dad's birthday the night before- I ate a lot of junk and have barely had any fibre, keep in mind

But I had like a weird dull shooting pain in front of I guess where my bladder is in the morning, but I could tell that it was radiating from my rectum/rectum-sigmoid area- I think I may have been slightly constipated but I'm not sure, there were a couple of harder bits of stool that I noticed.

I just experienced it again while I was typing this.. maybe it's psychosomatic? Caused by anxiety?

I don't know but if it is a tumor causing it then it's in the rectal area judging by a diagram of the rectum and where everything is etc... which has sparked the fear that the consultant missed something 4 months ago, OR something grew in 4 months, after the rigid sigmoidoscopy which was clear besides from a pile.

I'm just so done with this right now, this pain has really opened a whole new can of worms... and I had a decent week before this

Again, sorry for the replies probably not being long enough but I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep as I only had 4-ish hours last night

[Toby2000]

Oh I'm also scared that there was some stool blocking the view of a possible tumor 4 months ago when he did the rigid sigmoidoscopy

I don't think there was because it wasn't brown when he pulled it out or anything (TMI, I know) but I didn't take any prep so there's a chance of it right?

[nomorepanic]

You are spiralling again toby so get off here, stop posting and sort that blooming diet out. You don't learn do you?

[keinnyn]

Hi these symptoms are normal when anal fissure there on the rectum, you're s young to be ill bye a rectal cancer a lot young believe me.
the most affected population are people >40 years old (most if they have family history of this disease)
if blood is fresh as you said, is probably that i'm true, this sings on medicine is called rectorrhagia.
i'm medical student and i'm from latino america sorry my english is not perfect, i hope that you are now more relax.
if you are not sure about you health condition visit your physician.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Oh I'm also scared that there was some stool blocking the view of a possible tumor 4 months ago when he did the rigid sigmoidoscopy

I don't think there was because it wasn't brown when he pulled it out or anything (TMI, I know) but I didn't take any prep so there's a chance of it right?

Isn't that a bit like saying if he was checking your stomach he got foxed by a slowly digesting sprout being in the way?

[MyNameIsTerry]

I don't know but if it is a tumor causing it then it's in the rectal area judging by a diagram of the rectum and where everything is etc... which has sparked the fear that the consultant missed something 4 months ago, OR something grew in 4 months, after the rigid sigmoidoscopy which was clear besides from a pile.

This is what we have been saying, a snapshot test will never change the possibility of cancer developing later so would you be wanting every test for every cancer just in case every 6 months just to be sure?

And doubting the consultant is another common one on here. Some go as far as worrying the equipment wasn't calibrated properly or some evil gremlin at the factory that made them did something to stop them working.

This is why many of us on this thread don't think a colonoscopy will help you because you will feel triggers and see more symptoms and just apply the same doubts to that test too.

I'm just so done with this right now, this pain has really opened a whole new can of worms... and I had a decent week before this

This is the nature of triggers. If you reduce your overall levels of anxiety, change your thinking, react less, have more healthy things to distract you in life, etc this will happen as much or as intense. But it comes with working on, time and repetition.