Have I got rectal cancer?

[BlueIris]

Toby, you need to find yourself an online hangout that isn't related to your irrational worries. Find a space where you can forget about your fears, or at least pretend to.

Also, unless you're planning on putting some serious work in on your anxiety (which would be a totally worthy use of your time), maybe look at going back to education or doing some volunteer work - anything to get yourself out of your own head for a while.

I've wasted hours down the rabbit hole before - heck, I'm ashamed to admit I've done it this week - but in the end, what's really helped me is having other commitments to meet that have kept me off Google and away from reading stuff that frightened me.

[Toby2000]

Guys I will reply to those messages properly tomorrow morning because now I don’t gave access to my computer and it’s hard to answer adequately on my phone!

[Carys]

I totally recommend volunteering work, we've all talked about this before on another thread (Terry, do you know which that thread was, with your excellent memory?) and the value to a person with anxiety.

[pulisa]

Maybe even trying to get some work experience somewhere relevant to what you think you want to do in the future? Anything to occupy yourself meaningfully and give yourself a sense of worth and also to get you away from the lure of Dr Google!

[MyNameIsTerry]

I totally recommend volunteering work, we've all talked about this before on another thread (Terry, do you know which that thread was, with your excellent memory?) and the value to a person with anxiety.

This one...

https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showth...teering&page=4

...which was actually yours!

I agree with everyone saying to look towards more healthy activities in your life. It's like work-life balance, you just burn out eventually. I learned that lesson, you can't keep up as much as you get older.

[Carys]

Thanks Terry, for remembering my thread that I forgot LOL I KNEW your memory was better than mine. LOL

[Toby2000]

About that, every time I consider that I'll live, I realize that if I do, I'll be dragging myself along, anxious as hell, all the way till I really die, and that maybe I might as well die now. I'm really stuck as to how to fix this, but trying to not come here when I don't have something that may help me/someone else seems to help. Maybe I should be trying in smaller steps. Dynamic programming has taught me that usually makes complex tasks easier. At this point, I might as well hope that this is being heavily influenced by some hormone stuff happening (makes sense, I still have that brain fog from 9 months ago, which is known to be caused by hormone imbalance (like in adolescence/menopause I think, I'm no doctor)).

Toby, I'd suggest continuing with your plan of not coming here as often, if at all, after you get your test results and stuff if you want. Stop googling as well, that usually makes things worse (and if it doesn't, then that good effect fades away), as we all know.

Perhaps I shouldn't be posting here, as only a small bit of this post relates to OP. uh

Sent from my ONEPLUS A5010 using Tapatalk

Sometimes I try and live in the moment and focus on the few good things that there are happening.. but then I think "Wait but should I be enjoying this if I might die?"

I've had quite a hectic few days so haven't come on here for a while; I'm only just remembering to reply to all these messages. I have been distracted of my BC worry but now it's come back like a tonne of bricks.

---------- Post added at 14:50 ---------- Previous post was at 14:47 ----------

Hi, I really feel for you.

I've had health anxiety for 14 years now and i've had multiple episodes over those years for varying things, almost always cancer related. The fear of bowel cancer has been at the forefront and it tortures my every waking moment.

After you get your test results back or even before, please seek help for your health anxiety. You are so young, you shouldn't be suffering like this. I'm 52 and my quality of life has been hugely impacted by my anxiety, it can take away who you are, it affects you're whole family. Don't let this continue to consume your life, your happiness.

Thanks for the advice Rainbow.

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling, bowel cancer is one of the scariest cancers to worry about I think so we have it pretty bad.

---------- Post added at 14:52 ---------- Previous post was at 14:50 ----------

Toby, you need to find yourself an online hangout that isn't related to your irrational worries. Find a space where you can forget about your fears, or at least pretend to.

Also, unless you're planning on putting some serious work in on your anxiety (which would be a totally worthy use of your time), maybe look at going back to education or doing some volunteer work - anything to get yourself out of your own head for a while.

I've wasted hours down the rabbit hole before - heck, I'm ashamed to admit I've done it this week - but in the end, what's really helped me is having other commitments to meet that have kept me off Google and away from reading stuff that frightened me.

I've had a hectic but distracting few days and that's kept me from googling, during which time I forgot about my BC worry. I don't feel as worried now, as I'm typing this, I just feel like it's there but hasn't come out to attack me for a few days.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I've had a hectic but distracting few days and that's kept me from googling, during which time I forgot about my BC worry. I don't feel as worried now, as I'm typing this, I just feel like it's there but hasn't come out to attack me for a few days.

More evidence of fear and that you can work on it to reduce it

[Toby2000]

ALSO I went for the blood test yesterday.

It was of course really quick.. should I ring for the results today before the surgery closes at 6 PM? Aren't they done quite fast?

They said that if anything is really wrong that they'd ring me and I haven't had a call.. but yesterday I did ring to tell them that I changed my number and gave them my new one, so maybe they haven't called because they haven't registered my new number yet.

I doubt it though, it either means nothing is wrong with my bloods or they're not through yet

What should I do if they come back clear? Ask for a stool test too?

[Elen]

It can take a week for results to come back, especially if they are normal

I doubt very much that your surgery will have the results today

If they come back clear, get a plan in place to deal with your anxiety

It might also be worth looking for ways to pursue your ambition of writing for a living, there may even be an apprentiship available.

Start googling writing jobs, I am sure you would be good at it.