"Diagnosing" health anxiety/panic in a parent

[jray23]

So yesterday afternoon I get a call that my father had gone to the ER due to numbness/tingling in the fingers of his left hand. He is diabetic, somewhat obese, has moderate heart disease and high blood pressure, so of course I was very concerned. However, after I got to the hospital to see what was going on, they were already releasing him after just a couple of hours, which included an ekg and a brain ct scan. They just called it a regular parasthesia and told him if it spread up his arm to come back or if his fingers turned blue.

Since then, my dad has been at home, but he is very frightened. He keeps saying he is feeling worse but can only say it's the fingers that are feeling stronger tingling when I ask him how/what is worse. I'm sensing a lot of the same things that I see with my own health anxiety and others here:. constant symptom checking, self-diagnosis, catastrophizing, Googling, feeling symptoms like jelly legs, fatigue, lightheadedness, not sleeping, etc. He asked me if I felt swelling in his shoulder or a bump behind his ear (I could feel neither, felt the same on both sides) He fears that he can't walk even or something will happen. However he appears to be breathing fine, does not have a fever or anything, and talks clearly. It feels like he's just buried in that rabbit hole of HA but am I just seeing my own bias in it? I told him that the doctors would not let him go if there was a risk. However unlike me he has real health risk factors so I am unsure if chalking it up to anxiety is reasonable. I tried to show him the CBT4panic website and while he started to recognize some of the things it said as what he was feeling, he said it was just making him panic even more so he stopped. (He's also not good with computers so that might have contributed).

To my knowledge, he's always been a pretty anxious and nervous guy and I believe he has depression at times too, but I've never seen it manifest as health anxiety in him before. Although for 30 years until just recently, he simply avoided doctors altogether...so maybe that's like an opposite extreme of HA.

I've told him that he should definitely go back to the ER if any of those things the doctor mentioned happened, but if it's just tingling in his fingers that he should just wait and tell his regular doctor on Tuesday when he's already scheduled for a diabetes checkup. I think it's possible the tingling could be peripheral neuropathy from his diabetes, although he's done a great job keeping his sugar level in check since being diagnosed with diabetes several months ago.

I guess my question for the forum is should I even play the anxiety angle to him? Or to be safe should I recommend more medical support since he has serious risk factors? He lives with my mom and two younger siblings although mom is of no support to him because they basically hate each other, my brother is slightly mentally handicapped and my sister has strong social anxiety. So it's like I'm the most level-headed of the group but I don't live there (just 10 minutes away though). I stayed with him this afternoon but left for him to try and take a nap.

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[MyNameIsTerry]

Anxiety Disorders that typically fit into the HA category are longer term. There are shorter term disorders that account for situations arising from panic or traumatic experience.

If you could diagnose a long term behavioural disorder based on being scared by a trip to the ER then there would be billions more sufferers e.g. anyone who ever had a heart attack.

I would be looking more to whether this is merely showing something that is already present & ongoing. It's far too early to think a new disorder based on one scary event. He could be fine in a couple of days.

Some with disorders that fit under the fictional HA banner do avoid doctors. But then so do many people without anxiety just as people avoid dentists for many years until life catches up.

[jray23]

Thanks Terry. Yes, I don't think that he necessarily has a health anxiety disorder persay (perhaps my title is misleading), just that it seems like he's currently experiencing something similar to it at this time, and I'm hoping that's the case and that he isn't having a serious problem.

He just called me to see if I could come by tomorrow morning while the rest of the family goes to church because he does not want to be alone. I will of course.

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[Scass]

How worrying for you all. Can you get the family doctor to come for a home visit where you are all present and can discuss it together?


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[MyNameIsTerry]

Yeah, I see what you mean. I was wondering whether you thought there was a disorder hidden but it makes sense in the "anxiety about health" normal way anyone could experience with a health scare.

It has clearly been a shock to him. With his pre existing conditions and something tingling up his arm I would imagine he worried about a few different things that are naturally scary. So he's probably been worried sick throughout that time in hospital and what it would mean to loved ones.

If he goes searching for information he's going to find some scary stuff as I'm sure you are well aware. Having an objective person to steer him away from all that will be very helpful.

The Googling is interesting. I would imagine most people trust their doctors but it's interesting how many doctors complain about Dr Google and surely there aren't that many HAers out there so perhaps our easy access to information is upsetting people after health scares such as your dad?

Given he's had a scare maybe some time being distracted from it will help him naturally calm down? Sometimes normality can help get people back on track. Too much time to think is probably not what he needs right now?

It's nice to think our parents value our moral support. They have spent their lives being the go-to person not wanting to show their kids they aren't tough as nails. I think that's just how parents are, they worry more about it affecting us than themselves. Having you there will obviously bring him some comfort and that, and some steering away from those anxious behaviours you identified as like ours, might calm him down enough for him to come out the other side of it.

I hope he feels better soon.