Re: I think I'm getting better?
What a lovely post
It sounds like you've worked really hard to get yourself to this point & I hope you're incredibly proud of that.
Your experience of anxiety sounds similar to mine a couple of years ago. I also felt I was going mad and also found the citalopram made me mildly depressed which had never been an issue for me previously. I too learned to just let the anxious feelings come and go, and avoided sites like these and googling my symptoms and I learned to love life again and live like a normal person!
I would say that's definitely recovering from anxiety, and it really sounds like you are recovering. It's normal to think "Is this too good to be true?" When you feel so 'normal' after a long time of feeling anxious. Soon you will get to a point where you stop doing this - where you're so content that it doesn't matter if you're cured/recovered, because you're settled and happy and aren't thinking about anxiety.
I went through a very stressful event recently & my brain/body responded by going into full on anxious mode, back to panic attacks and anxious thoughts etc. I started counselling IMMEDIATELY and told my counsellor that I was so upset that it was happening again after I was cured for so long. But she reminded me that I've not 'gone back there' I'm not un-cured, I'm just an anxious person and I'd forgotten how to manage my anxiety after being rid of it for so long. She helped me look at all the tools I'd used last time & reminded me of all the things I'd forgotten about and honestly, I'm handling it just fine and know I'll be out the other side soon.
Basically, you can't possibly know that you won't go down this path again. But if you do, so what? It's not a relapse or going backwards, and honestly it's much less scary because once you've been through it and come out the other side you know you can do it again. You may well need to be reminded how to manage your anxiety again in the future because those feelings might return. If they do, you'll manage them just as you are now.
Enjoy the good days and long may they continue!
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She believed she could, so she did