I am paralyzed with fear right now. I woke up this morn, went to the bathroom, and when I looked my pee was rust brown. I got a cold chill looking at it. So I drank two bottles of water, took my daughter to school, came home, and already had to pee again, and it was the same color. I have some home pee test strips, since I'm diabetic, (47 year old male), and I tested it, and the blood was off the chart, confirming what I could obviously see. I got in the car and went straight to my doctor, since they accept walk-ins. I already had to go again, as I drank another two bottles of water on my way there. The pee was now much more clear, but still pinkish, when the doc had me pee in the cup for their lab test. So she sent me home with a referral to a urologist, and said they'd test it for bacteria and a possible UTI, but that came back negative, which in fact scares me even more now, fearing Bladder Cancer. When she called with the results of the negative UTI, she said she wants me to get a CT. So now I have urologist appointment tomorrow afternoon, a CT sometime soon, though not scheduled yet. I also have had microscopic blood in my urine at my last urine lab test in June, but the doc told me not to worry about it then, and I didn't, but now is another story. I keep testing my pee every time I go at home, and there are trace amounts of blood, but not visible at the moment. Still, I could not be more scared. The fact that it isn't a UTI leads the chances of cancer to be even larger, considering I read that 1 in 5 cases of visible blood in the urine turn out to be cancer (thank you for that Dr. Google), and that included cases where there might be UTI. So yes...I'm sick to my stomach with worry. I already have a life-dominating Carcinophobia, which shifts from Pancreatic to Lung cancer fairly regularly, but this is a whole different ballgame considering the visible nature of the symptom, the fact that UTI was ruled out, and the tests and referrals ordered. I'm crying literally with dread right now, and totally can't calm myself, even taking my Trintellix and Klonopin. I just want to have normal health. I don't want to die and leave my 10 year old daughter fatherless. I know what that's like since my best friend died 5 years ago suddenly, leaving his 11 year old and 14 year old kids behind. It's all I can think about. Please God help me.