I know many people, myself included, worry when you find something or feel something that seems abnormal, but do you worry when nothing is wrong? I am in this place right now where I keep thinking any minute I am going to notice a change in myself or my kids that will lead to a dreaded diagnosis. I almost feel like I cannot enjoy any calm period because I am waiting for the inevitable horrible, deadly diagnosis that I know is lurking around the corner. My kids can be fine and I feel like I am waiting for one or both of them to start saying they have a headache or tummy ache or some other ailment which leads to a deadly diagnosis. It is horrible. Can't it take a rest?
It leads me to start planning funerals in my mind or googling where we would go for treatment. I have gone so far as to read blogs from parents who have lost children and mentally keep track of them so I can reach out to them when the inevitable occurs. It is exhausting, but I feel like I cannot make it stop. Anyone?