False ocd thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

This would be because you said yourself that you behaved abusively towards her.

Whether you realise it or not, your anxiety disorder is causing you to behave badly towards her. I'm sorry, but I've been on the receiving end of abuse from a controlling partner and your attitude frightens the life out of me.

No, he said he was annoyed by her. Everyone gets annoyed with each other but that's not abuse. He didn't really explain what happened and how they dealt with it.

Phil's OCD may or may not influence her in ways but we know nothing of this and I can't say in all my time reading his posts I've seen how he attempts to control her life.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Nobody is worried about my partner. It seems becuase I was annoyed at her touching a bin all the focus is on that.

That was one issue I come here for my issues I’m the one suffering everybody else is well and fine.

Phil, I don't see how you can say you stop it from affecting people to be honest. It's hard to keep every bit of stress inside all the time and no human beings, well maybe some Buddhist monks, manage it.

At an absolute minimum the financial side impacts on her too when sharing. She may see you are frustrated and that impacts on her too.

It's just life with someone with mental health problems as it is life with someone with physical problems. But then those without either have their ups & downs.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Exactly. I've lost friends I'd rather not have done because of my anxiety. I try to make my mantra my neurosis is not your problem, but when the fear's rampaging like a forest fire, it's very hard to keep it completely hidden.

I think the best we can do is acknowledge our weakness and unreasonable behaviour, and ask our loved ones to forgive us for it.

I agree. I've told people to walk away from me if it's not what they want and I would be fine with that as it's not their fault I've had breakdowns.

It cost me my friends, career, etc.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I need to discuss my ocd today and wonder why it’s got worse.
 An example today I did the toilet and I wiped my backside and I went in shower. I wouldn’t touch toilet paper to wipe it more becuase I worried I would make it more dirty. So instead I went in shower and came back out and got a towel and wiped once more. My ocd says that’s what I did In my old house but not 100% true becuase basically I would have wet towels and stand on the floor and bits of toilet paper hit them so they were infact more dirty. So anyway the issue is even if I did a compulsion to shower again it would make no odds I would worry even more.
For years doing compulsions gave relief in the past six months due to the severity f the ocd the compulsions fuel worse ocd and make worry more I still don’t understand why for years the compulsions gave mild relief and now it stopped working? The relief atleast kept me off message boards but now no matter what I do the ocd will control me. Again I worried about my sock touching the toilet brush a few weeks back I worried for days I had and I forgot it but changing socks wouldn’t have made any odds those compulsions no longer work.
Anyway today’s issue it’s a combination of a compulsion changing the towel and a false thought it’s not often both come at one time. Do I challenge the thought? Ignore the thought? Distract myself? Write it down? Some how dismiss it. I said before I am able to sort of let go of false thoughts more as I know they are false. People say they are all false no if you touch a bin the germs would be there so for me a hand wash will always be required I don’t wish to change this.
So what can I do? These thoughts happen daily at the moment I am constantly suffering high anxiety due to an ocd thought which takes over my day. The good news is atleast it moves onto another thought it can be worse when the same one lasts months.
I have tried ignoring the thoughts it can work for a bit but not long term. Writing it down doesn’t help. Challenging them yes but this can help slightly. Reducing my over all anxiety has a much better effect but it’s like sitting a therory test for driving it requires hours of relexation and reading of anxiety and how it works and why you don’t let it control you. But it does work.
But I ask for help becuase my compulsions are failing. I am at a stage I don’t even try to do them shower more replace as I said perhaps that’s good but it’s not becuase I am better it’s becuase by doing that compulsion my ocd can double. So yes why did the relief come from doing the compulsion and it suddenly stopped? Is this due to the ocd going from mild to severe?

BIB - We've explained why this is not helping you. You have started to reach points where the relief of compulsions is lost. But what you have to accept, at least yourself if not to others, is that not working on compulsions means allowing things to continue. I understand it, confronting anxiety is hard and time isn't always the way to judge things as some spend years & years trying to find what works as it's not as simple as meds & therapy for many reasons BUT you won't find a medical professional anywhere saying compulsions are good. They will tell you to work on stopping them.

Do you accept that? If not, you have a denial battle to get through first.

[phil06]

I am struggling today last night a piece of tissue fell down side of toilet I picked it up and worried I hit the toilet plunger despite it being on the opposite side. My ocd is worrying if I bin it I will worry the floor is dirty and I will worry bin is even more dirty? If I was it I will worry the washing machine has toilet plunger germs in it and all my clothes will be dirty? What can I do? Either option will cause me anxiety 


I can’t bear this anxiety people are right it will get worse becuase I worry every surface has toilet plunger water germs and I will constantly feel dirty and awful. Yes my trousers may not have touched the plunger but it doesn’t matter my anxiety will go on this journey anyway.

[Fishmanpa]

I am struggling today last night a piece of tissue fell down side of toilet I picked it up and worried I hit the toilet plunger despite it being on the opposite side. My ocd is worrying if I bin it I will worry the floor is dirty and I will worry bin is even more dirty? If I was it I will worry the washing machine has toilet plunger germs in it and all my clothes will be dirty? What can I do? Either option will cause me anxiety 


I can’t bear this anxiety people are right it will get worse becuase I worry every surface has toilet plunger water germs and I will constantly feel dirty and awful. Yes my trousers may not have touched the plunger but it doesn’t matter my anxiety will go on this journey anyway.

Excuse me? Seriously Phil? I've read your threads for over 5 years and like many others, you have a knack for drawing people in and getting food for your dragon. What's most interesting, and I've seen this pattern repeated here, is that when seriously challenged, the irrationality goes out the window and the reply is straight forward and totally comprehensive. As I said previously and as usual, my post was totally ignored, I think its worth noting that this has been an ongoing issue to various degrees for more than 13 years. There are literally 30 pages worth of threads where the same questions are asked.

I agree, close this and your other topics and seek yet again, real life help. Its quite apparent that 13 years of virtual help has done nothing to help at all!

I truly wish you peace as I cannot begin to imagine living inside your mind.

Positive thoughts