I have decided that I would like to write a post onto every anxiety/panic forum that I can find in the hope that I may be able to offer any help or support to anybody who may benefit from reading this. Before I begin I would like to point out that I have suffered the gut wrenching anxiety and terrifying panic attacks first hand and 100% fully understand what you are going through and would like to assure you that I no longer suffer. As human beings none of us are too dissimilar and so if I can get through the anxiety ordeal then so can you. The reason that I had this whole experience will possibly different to yours but I see no reason why my road to recovery would not be the same as yours. I would also like to say (and theres a good chance that you wont believe this at this stage) that despite the anxious era of my life being without doubt the most difficult time of my life it is now apparent that it has been the most rewarding. I can say with the upmost confidence that my state of mind and my outlook on life is far better now than it has ever been and that with every day that passes I am happy that I had this life changing experience. I spent so long wishing I wasn’t anxious and that things were different and now I am so glad that my life took the unexpected turn that it did. I just sincerely hope that this proves useful to you, if not then I am sorry to have added such a massive post to the forum! If this is useful or may be for someone you know then please do print and pass on or post elsewhere or give to anyone to whom this may be beneficial.
In early 2006 I was sat watching a film with my partner on a Saturday night as relaxed as ever when without warning I couldn't breath in properly. I went into another room to catch my breath and the more I couldn't breathe the worse it got and in turn the more frightened I became. I eventually bit the bullet and told my girlfriend that something major was happening and that I couldnt breathe. To cut a long part of the story short (and a part i'm sure your well aware of) I had a full blown panic attack. To the extent that I was curled in a ball with every muscle completely flexed rock solid, jaw chattering my teeth together, heart pounding stomach doing somersaults, throwing up, the works. It was horrendous, total depersonalisation, certain I’d lost it and with the telephone doctor telling me I need to calm down! There was no chance of that! Needless to say I was at the hospital the next day where they told me I was anxious, the next day the doctors where I was told the same then following day another doctor told the same. I went on sick leave from work and was in a terrible terrible state. Within 3 days I had 5/6 major, major panic attacks. I was given beta blockers (prescription drugs) which certainly made things worse and leaflets and information that I thought couldn't possibly be talking about what I was experiencing. The first decision I made and one which I urge you to do as well was that I decided that I did not want to take medication for this. At the time I did not understand the importance of this, I do now... avoid the anti anxiety drugs!! They just keep you within the cycle of worry that you are trapped in. Just to add a general overview the following year was filled, filled with anxiety, I had butterflies in my stomach constantly which fluctuated in severity from a constant uneasy feeling to borderline panic breakdown, if not a total panic attack. I would like to stress that during this whole time I felt anxious ALL the time, I just forced myself to function regardless. I am happy to say that I am now free of this problem and only feel anxious on very rare occasion and generally in situations where anxiety would be expected (such as a presentation or something).
I truly wish I had an answer that would help you like clicking your finger I really, really do but unfortunately I don’t, there isn’t one. All I can do is tell you what helped me safe in the knowledge that I am in a better place than I ever was. It took months and months of work before I started to feel better but I stuck at it despite the struggle and hopefully this may help you to do the same.
As I said previously I strongly disagree with the drugs, masking the symptoms may help but the ONLY cure is found within. Facing your fear dead on whilst searching your heart and mind for the real cause is essential to recovery, masking the symptoms is not. If the drugs worked you wouldn’t be reading this. I don’t want to have any negative effects on anyone so check with your doctor before stopping any medication but in my opinion if I had taken the drugs then I wouldn’t have reached the place I am at now. I am certain of this. The only drugs I used for a short period of a few months were the herbal st. john wort. Its hard to say whether these helped as I started taking them when I was feeling well most of the time when I stopped I still felt the same and since stopping taking them I have gone from strength to strength. I don’t put any part of my recovery to st johns wort but if you think you need something then why not try something natural (check with a doctor)
Relaxation techniques are worth being aware of, breathing techniques are good for keeping you calm when you think you are getting jittery. I would also strongly advise spending 20 mins to half an hour trying to sit in silence and think about nothing at all. Thinking about nothing is difficult especially when you are anxious so it takes practice. (I just did this in bed before I fell to sleep). Again relaxing wont cure you, it just may help with the symptoms.
I read everything I could find about our shared condition on the internet, I’m talking about hours and hours of reading, I’ll admit that a lot is duplicated info but every now and then you read something which feels particularly pertinent to you and you subconsciously add it to your arsenal of anxiety defence weapons. As a rule I am 100% dead against sites that claim to cure you in half an hour or an hour, or cd’s and dvd’s that guarantee success. Obviously I never tried all of these miraculous promises but for my research I had a rule of ignoring anything with a price attached. A lot of people seem to prey on desperate people to make money. Forums etc can be particularly useful. The main things to read about and to make yourself fully aware of is as much information as you can regarding CBT cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I had no counselling and used these techniques that I read about on myself. I would attribute my success almost completely to cognitive behavioural therapy. I do not intend to explain exactly what I learned in my research because I think it is more beneficial for you to do this research yourself. If I’d read about cbt (or any of my research) all at once from one place at once I think it would not have been as relevant. Your reading and research needs to be related to you and your experience and you have to put the time in. read everything and rest assured that everything I read was from the internet so its all still there for you to read. Trust me, learn all about cbt, it is the key that opens the door that the cause and solution to your problem is locked behind, it really is. Your research will teach you two main areas which I will give a brief overview of. 1) You will become aware of your thoughts and just how frequently you think negative things. I actually kept a written log of this but you will come across this with CBT techniques. It may shock you when you monitor your thoughts just how negative a person you are. CBT also teaches you the single most important point of all WHAT YOU THINK IS WHAT YOU FEEL. Your thoughts create your feelings nothing else does. 2) You will also seek and try to understand the reasons that you think so negatively and face these reasons head on. I have my reasons. You will have yours. I don’t want to say anymore on this, You need to find this out for yourself!
The last point I will make is that no matter what, you stick with it and believe you can get better. I had an occasion when I was monitoring my thoughts and keeping a log and feeling better and I had a panic attack for no reason at all. I was devastated. Next day I got back to monitoring my thoughts and replacing negative with positives and it gets easier in time. Keep at it! Reply to every negative thought you have with a positive whether you truly believe it or not. In time the positive thoughts come before the negatives and you therefore feel positive more than negative and the anxiety drifts away over time. Just try to believe me.
I truly apologise for the length of this post if you have not found it useful. I just feel like writing this has been the final point of my recovery. I feel better and I want others to as well. I cannot emphasise enough how much I hope that some if not all of this is useful to even one person out there. Don’t feel bad for how you feel just get focused on feeling better. Don’t hide from your problems and don’t worry about having an issue with anxiety, so many of us have. Just take some time and treat this as a challenge that will change your life. I guarantee (without claiming to fix you in an hour or requiring any of your money) that all you need to fix yourself is in you right now just focus on learning how find it.
I hope you don’t think that I am preaching I just hope that my experience may help someone out there. I wish you good luck but you really don’t need it!!
Paul
whatyouthinkiswhatyoufeel@hotmail.co.uk
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Re: Anxiety Sufferers Please Read!!!
Hi Wytiwyf 
