Originally Posted by
Panicandpeace
So, I've calmed down a bit about the "bite" on my hand, but my brain has circled back to the squirrel exposure from several years ago and the bat (is it real or isn't it real?!) from a few weeks ago. Now that it's been a few weeks since the bat incident, I that worry that the memory has now become quite vague in addition to originally being questionable, if that makes sense. Going into cold and flu season, I'm worried that the next time I catch a cold, I'm going to go into a tizzy, or obviously that it will in fact be rabies.
Update on CBT: I called my insurance company, and low and behold, they actually have a "telemental" health service, where I can video conference with a therapist. They gave me phone numbers of a few different therapists, all who specialize in CBT and OCD/anxiety.
Also, yesterday, I stepped on a small plastic bag the had a hole torn out at the bottom. My brain said "There was a needle in there. You stepped on a drug addict's needle, and now you're going to get a disease from it." No puncture marks on the soles of my sneakers. I was able to pretty quickly calm myself down from that one, even though my brain kept saying the WHAT IFS and "needles wouldn't make a noticeable puncture mark..." I think I was able to calm myself down because honestly, I just got preoccupied with rabies again. Does anybody else do this? Switch from one thing to another, like your brain is searching for something to be worried about?
Also, I asked a question about bats/phobias/false memories on Quora and got this answer from a psychotherapist, which has FREAKED me out:
"You pose an interesting question. I’d like to suggest that the symptom you describe is often a compromise a person makes with themselves to manage what I assume in relation to these critters is horror, terror, and dread.
The symptom you describe might be a way for you to not only feel a bit of those feelings which in all probability were the result of something having gone terribly wrong in your earliest years for which you have no language to shape into a coherent memory. Your current fears are likely a reflection of those terrifying feelings from deep in your past for which there is no memory.
Your conscious worry that you have already come into contact with one of these critters is likely an unconscious recognition that the terrifying event(s) have, indeed, already happened.
You would do well with a well-trained therapist(someone who can help you listen for your unconscious) who could not only help you with your current fears but also help you come to terms with a past for which your current fears point.
Good luck to you. What you suffer from is treatable which can help you overcome these very real fears."
Is this psychotherapist saying that I'm having false/intrusive memories about bats because I probably did, at some point, come into contact with one?? This is literally my EXACT fear. That the memories are a result of a traumatic experience aka the bat bite...