bad times again

[Sarah-Jane]

Hi to everyone here that knows me, sorry i havent posted for a while but after having a couple of months of feeling better ish!! and trying to cope with issues and panic attacks and anxiety myself and comming to terms with it find myself feeling im back at square 1 again. i had a hurrendous night last night i have had ear infections etc on and off since last january had antibiotics etc that sorted the infection out now i am left with sticky liguid in my ears which is making me go deaf, off balance and generally ****, have started having panic attacks again and being sick off my food knot in my tummy tight chest headaches and sooooooo pissed off. i didnt get any sleep last night at all and run out of diazapam and couldnt relax, have been on various medicines and now the doc has prescribed proxac 20 mg a day but wont start them until ive seen the ear specialist for fear the prozac will make me feel worse until it kicks in to my system. After having councelling a few times in the past few months have come to the realisation that my ****ty childhood has left me with issues that are now comming to the surface and making me feel axnious and sometimes unable to cope very well, ive always been a strong person up to now and feel a shaddow of my former self and its something that scares me and want so badly to be and feel normal again i just feel as though im out of control and on a slippery slope to ruin, got married on xmas eve to andy and feel a faliour to him for being this way too what a crap way to start married life, but bless him hes so supportive.
Sorry to rable on again but you guys have been so supportive in the past just need a shoulder at the moment i guess..

Love Sarah-jane xxxx

Love Sarah-Jane xxxx

[Sarah-Jane]

also been getting hot and cold flushes and been fainting and pins and needles in my face too.

Love Sarah-jane xxxx

Love Sarah-Jane xxxx

[vernon]

hi sarh, sorry to hear how u feel, you was telling me the night before last and was so good to hear from you again. If its of any help my wife had a bad ear infection, went to doctors and he refered her to a ent unit. anyway they done all the hearing tests etc and she was right she had lost a lot of hearing in her year and they said probs came from an infection and they would sent her for a scan (wich takes months as u know lol) Any way her hearing has returned fully and she now feels ok again even though it took quite a while. So dont worry yourself about it as it can take ages to get better and u r young and sure it will. the other about u feeling back to aquare one is probs just a set back i get them realy bad at times after feeling good for a while. You have been through a lot recently? you got married at xmas and all the excitement of xmas too is probs just to much but sure it wont last. after a good couple off weeks u always seem to come right down again. take care sarah, hope to see u again soon, take care Vernon

[stimpy]

Having an ear infection isn't doing anything at all to make you feel calm.
Once you get the ear sorted out, you will find you will start to feel a lot better.

Remember to remind yourself that physical symptoms are only Mr Panic's way of frightening you and making you feel worse.
They will not harm you. Once you learn to relax again they will go away.

Having councelling is a great step forward.
It may not feel like that now, but in the future it will help.
I know it feels like you are facing things you'd rather remain buried.
But confronting the pain and the hurt will help resolve a lot of things, and in time it will help you realise what a good person you are and take the inner pain away. Sometimes the only way to deal with the demons of the past, is to face them head on.

Hang in there hun.


Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[sal]

Hi Hon

Firstly congratulations on getting married. Christmas is a stressful time anyway without the all organising and planning for a wedding, so i am not surprised that you are going through a blip. Been poorly aswell wont have helped how you are feeling and will have caused you to feel run down and generally p***** of like you said.

Remember you felt much better and you know that you got through it last time and you will this time.

Take care hon.





Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[pips]

Hi Sarah Jane,

So sorry you are feeling so crap at the mo. Having an ear infection is bound to make you feel totally off balance poorly and low.

Councelling can also bring up mixed emotions and it can be so very difficult to face up to certain issues. You are a strong person to cope as you have though! I'm am sure you will find that inner strength again perhaps it's just having a little holiday hey!LOL

Congratulaions on getting married as well. Please don't feel like a failure you are so NOT! I know how you feel as my Panic attacks etc started on my honeymoon and I felt so guilty to my husband. Remember he loves you for you though and you are not letting anyone down!

I hope you feel better again soon. Remember it is just a blip and it takes time patience and comfort.

Take Care hun,

Love PIP'S XX XX

[Sarah-Jane]

Thanks for your kind messages, ive been thinking about it all and think that its a fear of panic attakcs that is setting me back too. Im also looking for a new job too, i figure new job new challenge will take my mind off things and give me something new and exiting to focus on. Fear is a horrible thing and until now didnt understand it but i tell ya what im that mad with it it can **** off lol.

Day by day step by step im determined to beat this, before it beats me ..........we shall see eh!! Will keep you all posted.



Love Sarah-Jane xxxx

[sal]

Thats the right attitude to have, you sound totally positive. It wont beat you hon you have overcome it before and you will be even stronger and well prepared this time.

Good luck in finding a new job, thats a complete new start to focus on.



Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Sarah-Jane

Glad to see you posted again. It has been good chatting on MSN too.

I think once you get the ear infection sorted then you may start to feel a bit better. Well I hope so anyway.

Chin up ok?

Nicola

[ruth]

Dear Sarah Jane, I am sorry to hear you are feeling bad at the moment I like yourself have spiralled downwards over the last year or so, in fact I have just come back to the site again seeking help and support for the debilitating effects of anxiety and panic attacks, I am trying to hold off taking meds again as I know only too well how bad they make you feel to start with, and taking time off work etc, adding to the stress of it all. I do hope your ear is clearing up, that can make you feel really lousy. Do as I try to do that is not to lose touch with reality, it will pass we just have to find a way to get through the bad days

Love Ruth xx