Stag night stress

[pulisa]

It's not like a music gig though..It's a wedding. The music/entertainment is incidental. Will anyone care? It should be all about you and your wife.

[WiseMonkey]

Well no becuase I don’t feel the band will affect the numbers I just worry what the chit chat on the night will be on the band people will say that band were...or they may say they liked last band more which isn’t ideal

Just tell them that the original band have split up, then everyone will understand that you had to get another one... makes good sense

[phil06]

Just tell them that the original band have split up, then everyone will understand that you had to get another one... makes good sense

Yes I said that and the comments were oh I preferred other band or the new band the vocals ain’t as strong

---------- Post added at 20:08 ---------- Previous post was at 20:06 ----------

It's not like a music gig though..It's a wedding. The music/entertainment is incidental. Will anyone care? It should be all about you and your wife.

Yes it was like that with the footballer the buzz seems to have went away from Stag night but before it fell through the comments in the group chat were negative about football and all the people who never liked football decided to comment

The worry is that everybody I paid for turns up I have a contract for some but I bad one for the last band and it was cancelled

[WiseMonkey]

[QUOTE=phil06;1856847]Yes I said that and the comments were oh I preferred other band or the new band the vocals ain’t as strong

---------- Post added at 20:08 ---------- Previous post was at 20:06 ----------



Of course your friends are going to give their opinions about bands and other things, that's just what people do. I think you're being overly sensitive to their opinions and like you said, the band parting company is out of your control.

Don't let your friends opinions control your thoughts about your wedding plans, consult with your fiancee and the wedding planners/caterers etc.

[MyNameIsTerry]

You have a wedding for YOU..... not for everyone else.. it is YOU and your fiance's day and NOT those you invite...... it is a privelage for the guests to attend, it is not an event that they are paying to go to, it isn't a music gig... it is your wedding and it should be how YOU want it... no one else's opinion matters at all.

No one will come to your wedding and say "OMG what were they thinking hiring that band they were awful.... how dare they.. It has ruined my day// I don't think I want to be their friends anymore" BUT they do come and say "Awww look how much they love each other, I am glad they are having a good day and that they are really happy"

I blame the Karcrashians

---------- Post added at 03:01 ---------- Previous post was at 02:59 ----------

Agreed.......but.......is their opinion being actively sought by Phil, or are they just rolling on up to to give it anyway ?

Phil has answered but I think we expected it was him seeking approval and worrying about the details, what people think etc.

If someone just rolled up to give an opinion the response would be more direct from me...Father Jack-esque

---------- Post added at 03:03 ---------- Previous post was at 03:01 ----------

I just feel a regret that I showed people the original band and now I can’t deliver it. What annoys me is surely if I had no band my wedding plans would change more the fact is I have been able to replace at short notice yes the sound is different but one person I showed wasn’t impressed with any of the other bands.

If that is the bride = fair enough.
If that is the guests = the clue is in their title of "guests".

You are kicking yourself.

[phil06]

Yes what’s frustrating for me is I never heard any negative about the last band. The new band have good reviews on Facebook and are pretty decent yet ive had about 4 negative comments from my guests. I am surprised given this band sounds like most other wedding bands doing a similar thing. My fear now is people don’t like the band on the wedding day and that could in some way spoil my wedding day. I mean would they rather I had a Dj all night or something or perhaps they would still moan the music picked wasn’t good.

I am annoyed as I hired a respectable band with 4 years wedding experience doing functions and weddings and people are being negative.

[Carys]

Phil listen again - don't ask opinions, don't seek to please everyone. You say here again 'would they be happy if I just.....', this really isn't about what everyone else wants!

[phil06]

Phil listen again - don't ask opinions, don't seek to please everyone. You say here again 'would they be happy if I just.....', this really isn't about what everyone else wants!

I am just frustrated I went to so much effort and this new band sounds like most other wedding bands. I don’t get what people’s expectations are?

Sure I’ve had some positive opinions too. I just fear people being annoyed on the night by the band. We got offered a replacement band from the agency and they were awful had little wedding experience and it sounded a ramble. Had I booked this I could understand but they are quite a positive indie rock pop band and people are being negative

[Carys]

This is the trouble with asking people what they think, everybody is different in what they like, what they enjoy and what they would choose. Who you have got to play I'm sure is perfectly fine, but you have far too many involved in the decision-making process. Just stop asking for opinions on things, then you won't get to hear other peoples' expectations and stop seeking their reassurance of others in your choices. Its too late for this particular 'band situation', but I think a simple 'they are good, I like them' and end of story, would be a good response.


I know, sounds easy doesn't it - but its kind of like when you choose a baby name - DON'T discuss with anyone but your partner!Everybody will have their own thoughts and individual feelings, and ultimately what those people think isn't relevant.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I agree with Carys. And I think part of your change needs to include improving your confidence, like all of us really, learning to trust yourself more and needing reassurance less.

If it were my stag do and someone said they didn't like the band I wouldn't even listen unless it was a best mate. They do realise this isn't like booking a holiday, don't they? They don't get to go onto Philvago and moan about it afterwards.

They are entitled to their opinion but that's all it is and this is your do and not theirs so they need to bend towards yours preferences or don't go.