Stag night stress

[pulisa]

It's all about big ideas and bucket lists though..What is the big rush to do things? Do you feel that time is running out? My daughter does and she is 27.

[phil06]

It's all about big ideas and bucket lists though..What is the big rush to do things? Do you feel that time is running out? My daughter does and she is 27.

Yes it’s about bucket lists I’ve been this way for the past year going country after country doing as much as possible I even rented a a flat in a block of flats a that was on my bucket list before I moved there to this house. I wish I never felt so much pressure.

I’m in two minds I may never get this chance again to have someone there famous only maybe a special birthday? That’s another ten years off. I fear of people getting celebs at weddings too.

So like I’m maybe not the only person with this idea I feel guilty about it as it’s about you and ur partner but I admit like some people I see it as an excuse to spend money and go extravagant I just don’t know what to do?

[MyNameIsTerry]

There will always be chances with a famous person, Phil. Their time can be bought any year.

You may even come across them in other ways. A firm I worked at years ago used to have a yearly big bash and hire a comedian. We had Jim Bowen, Lee the bald bloke off They Think It's All Over, Ron Dixon off Brookside too! My GF has met one or two celebs as they are going about their lives and I think pulisa has met more celebrities than Parkinson

That perfectionism issue is in play again. But you could hire a footballer and find them disappointing on the night and the anxiety then has another way to get at you.

What should matter is what you really want, not other and not your anxiety.

[Scass]

Also Phil your bucket list is something to enjoy. It’s not a list that you need to plough through to the bottom of. You might change your mind on some of the things, and that’s ok.


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[pulisa]

Your bucket list is just another list of compulsions though. You might never get this chance again but is this "chance" a positive or a negative experience?

I'd never pay for a celebrity's time. It's just a financial arrangement and means nothing. Anyone with enough money can make a celebrity turn up to an event.

[Carys]

Your bucket list is just another list of compulsions though.

I agree with Scass and Pulisa on this one; the 'bucket list' idea is controlling your life choices, actions and future plans to a great extent.

[phil06]

I agree with Scass and Pulisa on this one; the 'bucket list' idea is controlling your life choices, actions and future plans to a great extent.

Is it not the anxiety controlling my life? as in ideal would I would have the footballer, learn to drive and fly to New York but anxiety gives me reasons not to so I try and talk myself out of these or delay these things

[pulisa]

Driving may be a good skill to learn but the other two issues are not important in the greater scheme of things. Just living your life with less anxiety and less torment from OCD compulsions would be a healthier target for your bucket list. It's not all about Big Things in life. "Smaller" (to you) achievements can turn into Big Things in due course but you can't see that at the moment because you are young and want everything now.

[phil06]

Driving may be a good skill to learn but the other two issues are not important in the greater scheme of things. Just living your life with less anxiety and less torment from OCD compulsions would be a healthier target for your bucket list. It's not all about Big Things in life. "Smaller" (to you) achievements can turn into Big Things in due course but you can't see that at the moment because you are young and want everything now.

True but a year ago before I moved house twice I had very low ocd and anxiety I have been unable to get this anxiety down I thought once I moved it would settle down?

I have been looking for an ocd cure but research says that eliminating the anxiety will rid me of my ocd so maybe I need Cbt or self help on the anxiety not the ocd?

Also it’s fine saying wait but you never know how long I will be around I may not reach old age not everybody does I mean maybe I might reach 100 but I don’t know problem is any age after 28 seemed old for me so I decided I needed a bucket list

[pulisa]

Dear God...No hope for me then.