Stag night stress

[phil06]

32 pages of build up.... No details... nothing....

"How was the party Phil?"

"I enjoyed it but plungers and door handles and germs Oh My! "

Some things will never change

Positive thoughts

Yes surprisingly it’s not the bin germs I worried about with the door handle it was the toilet germs on this occasion.

[Fishmanpa]

I might need a new topic now the stag has passed by.

Positive thoughts

[Phuzella]

@ FMP

[phil06]

I had some stag party badges with me I believe my dad had one and I put all the stuff I had with me back in my rucksack I fear the risk is be left behind his badge so my urge is to replace the rucksack again due to the toilet germs risk if he touched the wheelie bin?

[nomorepanic]

Ok well just do it then

[phil06]

This was a couple of years ago but I had a few footballers in mind to book and had contracts written I decided to cancel in the end. I got news that one of the ex footballers is dying and only has weeks left. I feel pretty gutted it’s very sad and that person could have came to my night out. I know it’s in the past but you often regret how things turn out? A year later my wife was going to have a night out that got cancelled. And after covid my social life went down hill. I have what use to be a best friend who I last seen at that stag night and after I got married never wanted to see me again. Like I say feeling a lot of regret I mean I had a fantastic night in 2019 but looking back a few regrets and sadness is this normal to regret? I also read about a singer who had a stroke and his life flashed by him like a video I find this a bit scary too but he did survive it..

[NoraB]

I know it’s in the past but you often regret how things turn out?

Thing is that this guy might have turned up to your night and been crap. You might have regretted booking him. Maybe think of it that way?

have what use to be a best friend who I last seen at that stag night and after I got married never wanted to see me again.

Lots of friendships fall by the wayside when people get married. I saw it with my ex-husband and some of his mates. He was the first to get married. He wasn't single anymore (not that actually stopped him from acting that way)

The important thing to understand is that friends worth having are those that stick with you no matter how much life changes. For whatever reason, your friend made a choice and you have to accept it.

I had a 'best friend' who treated me abysmally in the end. I have no regrets on that friendship ending..

Like I say feeling a lot of regret I mean I had a fantastic night in 2019 but looking back a few regrets and sadness is this normal to regret?

How does that song go? Regrets, I've had a few?

Actually, I could write a book my book of regrets (volumes 1 - 15)

I also read about a singer who had a stroke and his life flashed by him like a video I find this a bit scary too but he did survive it..

What's this got to do with stag nights?

[phil06]

Thing is that this guy might have turned up to your night and been crap. You might have regretted booking him. Maybe think of it that way?



Lots of friendships fall by the wayside when people get married. I saw it with my ex-husband and some of his mates. He was the first to get married. He wasn't single anymore (not that actually stopped him from acting that way)

The important thing to understand is that friends worth having are those that stick with you no matter how much life changes. For whatever reason, your friend made a choice and you have to accept it.

I had a 'best friend' who treated me abysmally in the end. I have no regrets on that friendship ending..



How does that song go? Regrets, I've had a few?

Actually, I could write a book my book of regrets (volumes 1 - 15)



What's this got to do with stag nights?

You are right that he could have turned up maybe it wouldn’t have gone well maybe even night out could have been worse like I say the night out went perfect. The friend in question was single like me for 5 years and he bought a suit for the wedding couldn’t bear to see me get married so returned it and cancelled the night before. He never fully broke contact still chats via Facebook but doesn’t want to meet anymore. The other friend is a mum and she mostly wants to hang around with other mums.

You are right to say they are not worth it if they don’t stick around but doesn’t help the immediate loneliness or depression it brings. I mean I always feel it’s not my fault I got married? I have tried to make new friends but it’s extremely difficult. You really have to find a bond with somebody or something in common. I’ve worked on two different shops last two years and never been able to find that. Who knows I may see these friends again but it won’t be very often that’s for sure. My wife has made new friends at her work so she is quite lucky any old friends she sees less maybe not so much an issue as she’s busy. That’s why I turned to gambling as I was down but I self excluded now. Perhaps I just have it focus on the positives. One I can travel again and my two biggest issues over past while has been friendship and travel so it’s good to have one sorted.

[NoraB]

The friend in question was single like me for 5 years and he bought a suit for the wedding couldn’t bear to see me get married so returned it and cancelled the night before. He never fully broke contact still chats via Facebook but doesn’t want to meet anymore.

Thing is, friendships are based on common interests or relationships. You and your mate had a common interest; you were both single. Your impending marriage changed the dynamic and the depth of this friendship was revealed for what it was. I mean, the guy didn't even attend your wedding to wish you well and that's pretty selfish behaviour from a 'best' friend. When a relationship is the foundation of a friendship, it doesn't matter how life changes; they're there..

That said, you knew where you stood, right?

You are right to say they are not worth it if they don’t stick around but doesn’t help the immediate loneliness or depression it brings.

I know and you have my empathy here..

I mean I always feel it’s not my fault I got married? I have tried to make new friends but it’s extremely difficult. You really have to find a bond with somebody or something in common. I’ve worked on two different shops last two years and never been able to find that. Who knows I may see these friends again but it won’t be very often that’s for sure. My wife has made new friends at her work so she is quite lucky any old friends she sees less maybe not so much an issue as she’s busy. That’s why I turned to gambling as I was down but I self excluded now. Perhaps I just have it focus on the positives. One I can travel again and my two biggest issues over past while has been friendship and travel so it’s good to have one sorted.

I think of my husband as my best friend, but even I - the anti-social Queen of Manchester - needs someone to talk to who speaks fluent geek (and I don't do 'bowls' no matter how much he tries to persuade me)

Actually, there are times when I fantasise about burying his body down the manhole in our backyard, but then I snap out of it and go clean something...

Try not to compare yourself to your wife's ability to make friends. Some people make friends more easily than others. My husband can initiate a friendship whereas I can't. That's just the way it is..

Yes, do try and focus on the positives because they're there. You just need to look for them. As you say, you can travel again. That's a BIG positive for you because it's important to you. The friendship issue can be worked on and sometimes fate steps in here as friends can enter our life without any initiation from us. In fact, that's how all my RL friendships have come about..