Social anxiety getting worse and public speaking approaching...

[Twisted-Melody]

Hello.

About 6 months ago, I was asked to give a talk at a conference. The talk is next month. I accepted it because I wanted to do it, share my knowledge, give something back, get recognition and get over my fear, but now I'm really, really scared.

I don't know if I can do it, even though it goes great every time I practice alone, with my therapist or watching myself back on a recording. I've started getting sleepless nights, feeling breathless whenever I talk for too long, dizzyness/ weakness, and even IBS flare ups and diarrhoea.

Just last week, I met up with an online friend and worried about it all week. I was so scared whether they'd like me or not, if I'd live up to their expectations and so on. After it was done, I got home and was really unwell. I even missed work the next day because I got so stressed about it.

I'm learning, slowly, not to care about what others think... But I can't shake this fear of the talk. I haven't spoken to a crowd like this for years, and every time I have, I've been shaking, stuttering, dizzy, confused and so on.

I don't know if I'm looking for advice or reassurance, but I feel so alone right now. I wish someone could stand by me when I do it and hold my hand, saying it'll be okay, but they won't and I shouldn't be such a baby about it when I'm 32.

[SarahNah]

First of all never say sorry or call yourself a baby. You're struggling, this is upsetting you. You have feelings and you have the right to express them freely.

While I would gladly give a public speech now, I actually fainted once giving a speech to a group of like five people lol. Here are some tips I use! Please don;t think I'm forcing these onto you! Just some friendly advice.

1. If possible have a bottle/glass of water. This way it stops your throat from going dry also if you're feeling the pressure. You can take a moment to gather yourself and take a sip!

2. Don't actually go over it the day of or not to often, just once maybe. Going over it again and again could end up with you getting mixed up with your words and muddle up your mind!

3. These people have come to see you, please they are interested in what you have to say. So be proud of yourself. That they find what you have to say interesting!

4. If possible ask a friend to be there to support you?

5. There's no shame in having flash cards! Just a few bullet points to help you get back on track! Don't write to much as it may confuse you.

For the social anxiety, all I can say is. If they were your friend online and wanted to meet you. They must have liked something about you" Easier said then done I know!


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