is there a difference between suicidal thoughts and simply not wishing to carry on?

[Suziewuzie]

Oh god that's the worst typo to make when trying to calm someones nerves

[mark84]

Oh god that's the worst typo to make when trying to calm someones nerves

If it all goes wrong i'll know who to blame wont I :P ok he's setting off soon, he said if I'm panicking we can sit in his car and talk, and if all goes well we will get a drink.

[Suziewuzie]

He sounds like an understanding friend. Let us know how it goes! X

[mark84]

It went reasonably, he is understanding. It didn't go brilliantly, but not terribly either. We found some middle ground and agreed to try have more fun with things together. I still feel a lack of lust for life but I intend to try and focus on the positives achieved. I can't thank you all enough for your comments and support.

[pulisa]

It's a typo...but a lovely supportive message from Suzie

I do hope you are ok and that it went as well as possible. Please let us know how you are?

---------- Post added at 14:25 ---------- Previous post was at 14:21 ----------

Just seen your post..I'm so pleased it wasn't a disaster and that you have made some plans for future meet ups. Cling onto that when you are feeling that everything is hopeless? Your friend cares about you.

[mark84]

Thank you so much Pulisa I keep feeling very frightened but I will focus on those things and it'll get me through. I've also taken the opportunity to alert my mum about the feeling of not wanting to live, I was very ashamed but she was very good about it, talking to me about crisis teams, medicine and so on(she has a medical background), so she will keep an eye on me with regards to harmful behaviour. It's a very low point, but hopefully it's one that has hit its worst now.

[pulisa]

There's nothing like a Mum to keep an eye on your mental wellbeing. She'll want to know about just how low you are. Just keep the communication channels open with her-you need her and your family right now.

[Suziewuzie]

I'm glad it didn't go terribly ( and that he didn't hurt you! ) I hope you feel a bit of inner peace now knowing you have a friend there. Kudos on speaking to your mum! Mum's are so amazing and it's so good that yours will be able to keep a little eye on you. It's nothing to be ashamed of anyway but mums are definitely the best for not judging us & I think it's amazing that you've let her into your world now. Big pat on the back for you today Mark!

[mark84]

You're both so kind. I'm really moved that both of you have made such an effort and being so invested in me. You can't imagine the difference it has made to me.

[pulisa]

Let your Mum in as well? And any other family members you can trust? You are never too "old" to admit to needing emotional love and support at a time when you need it most.