Hi all
Just wondering if anyone else can relate to this at all.
I’m currently living away from home (first time) in a completely different place in new ish job. I’ve always been on the slim side. After a horrible break up and traumatic situation at my last job (both of which I left in February this year) I’ve been obsessed with how I look.
I think it stems from blame and thinking there’s something wrong with me as to why my ex treated me how he did and why things went so wrong at a job I once loved.
Anyway, at the time I slipped to 8 stone (which for my height - just under 5ft 7 is too thin).
Since then I’ve gone up to a healthy 8 stone 7lbs but I’m in constant fear of putting weight on. Hence for months I calorie count every single day in a bid to loose weight. I try to stay under 1,300 cals but because I’m hungry at times I can just binge out.
It’s like a bad cycle.
I’ve briefly mentioned it to my therapist before but not no detail. (I see her for a lot of grief related things from my childhood). It’s just become an everyday part of my life of checking if my tummy is sticking out and then weighing myself whenever I spot scales.
I went away on holiday a month or so ago and put a pound on yet hated myself for it after.
Just wish I knew where to turn to stop. :(