Buster, I think your kids and grandkids wouldn't have wanted a conventional dad / grandad anyway.
Buster, I think your kids and grandkids wouldn't have wanted a conventional dad / grandad anyway.
Buster, I hope you are not too badly affected by all the rain? It sounds awful in your neck of the woods.
I could never be described as conventional, even as a kid most of my mates mums wouldn’t let them hang around with me , my idea of fun wasn’t what you wanted your kids doing and once they’d been taken home by the police I was banned from calling round for them , funny because now half of them are alcoholics, drug addicts or have been in jail , and look at me consultant psychiatrist and volunteer gynaecologist.
If only the floods were my biggest worry , one of my dogs is over the moon it’s like one big dirty swimming pool she loves it .
Ive been trying to keep a lid on the freaking out all week , partners doc appointment didn’t go well , the pneumonia is worse not better and her x ray shows the mass in her lung has got bigger , the doc says it’s probably being caused by the pneumonia a build up of infection but not knowing isn’t doing her or me any good mentally, so more blood tests to get the right antibiotics and if that fails hospital for biopsies which means going under , this bothers me a lot more than her , she’s been under many times and just sees it as a necessary evil to getting better , me I worry myself sick.
The cbt therapist I saw way back asked if I see not worrying as not caring which is probably right , now my daughters have both left home and I don’t go out socially it’s just us and the dogs , I think this just magnifies her illness to me and she hasn’t been well for at least three years , I really feel for her because it has been one thing after another, she still plough’s on though regardless, you think of someone with pneumonia laying in bed not hanging out washing , going shopping or generally doing anything other than sitting still , when we were last away I took her to a quiet beech , we sat on some rocks cuddled up and I gave her a ring I’d bought her , I didn’t want that moment to end it was like all our problems were a distant memory, I told her I didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world or with anyone else and I meant it , that moment seems so long ago now even though it was only five weeks ago , I need to cling on to the thought that this won’t be forever and we will have more times like that day on the beach .
See ya later alligators
Hi Buster,
I've known many a person who gets on with their daily routine with pneumonia, including my dad who worked out in the cold as a builder. I also know there are different degrees of pneumonia and I'm guessing as your partner has had this on and off for 3 years that it's probably the same infection and because it has been 3 years, it would seem not as severe as you might think.
If it was severe, she would not be hanging the washing out and going shopping. So try not to worry too much.
Yes, if we didn't care, we wouldn't worry. That's the problem, we DO care!
How lovely that picture you set for us with you both cuddling on the rocks by the sea with presenting her with a ring. A mental picture of that before you go to bed is bound to give you a better night's sleep.
Buster, I agree with Carnation about the pneumonia. Easy for me to say I know, to think everything will be ok because anxiety always tells us it won't. Everything gets seen through 'anxiety eyes'. That sounds a very special time you both had together on holiday, perhaps your relationship is better than you think it is?
I completely get the feeling of her illness being magnified. I'm the same with Mrs F and even though our daughter is still living with us, it does seem to be all hospitals and illness. I'm sure this occasion for you will resolve itself as they have before. Hang in there buddy and keep posting.
'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987
Thanks guys , I’d like to think back on all the times I’ve worried myself sick only for things to work out ok it’s just not the way my mind works , I’ve learned to expect the worst through past experience and I can’t shake that .
Partner is no better and I know people do plod on as she does but she has the added problem of a heart condition , she’s had problems with fluid building up in her lungs for many many years , like you fish my life revolves around hospital and doctors appointments, right now this is pretty much our only problem but it’s one I can’t fix , always a day late and a dollar short of happiness .
To sum up today in three words , WET WET WET , and not the heroin loving Scottish band .
I’ll be back !!!
So many family problems right now , I would sell my soul to the devil for a day without worry and a good nights sleep
How often I heard this story but not saying it ain't true.
Sorry to heard about yous wife's illness. I never knew pneumonia could drag on so long. I got a vaccination 2 month back.
Good to have a MH pro here.
Just one question what I can't get satisfactory answer for
Do benzos poop out after two month max on the same starting dose, or does it depend on person?
Thanks if yous got time
Charlie
Hey Buster
Good ole Yankee handle yous chosen for yousself there!
I read about that flood, can't imagine the distress and damage that must of caused. They had ages, centuries, to build a wall there but never done it yet. It would also keep them trashy cruise ships out. Must be a wonderful place to be in tho when times is good.
Take care
Charlie
Well I’m going to assume after another shite nights sleep the devil has no interest in my soul , maybe I’ll try webuyanysoul.com .
Benzos , everyone reacts differently as with any drug , I took them every day for six months when things were bad and contrary to what my doc said I didn’t become addicted or dependant , I take one now and then to take the edge off when things get overwhelming, my partner takes two each morning so probably has popped but out on them and doesnt feel the original benefit, they are just a temporary fix, CBD is my daily choice of med and I do cope better with it .
My top ten worries right now in no particular order
1 partner with pneumonia
2 mum with dementia
3 brother looking after mum which I really appreciate but he has serious anger issues , I fear one day he will kill someone as I did try to kill me as a kid .
4 Daughter has split with her boyfriend which last time resulted in an overdose , this time it’s on her terms so hopefully she’s in a better place .
5 Grandson taken to hospital last night with croup ( bad cough )
6 Daughters bf who is already pretty fragile being dumped .
7 my own health , damaged lungs from working with chemicals, worn out arthritic back and fingers , this cold wet weather is making all of my joints ache
8 finished peaky blinders , another year before a new series ,what if they don’t make one or I die in a combined harvester accident before it’s released.
9 will the sky really fall down if brexit doesn’t happen ?
10 what if you lot are just a figment of my slightly warped imagination and I’m just talking to myself and when I thought I was going mad I actually was and did .
Right just finished watching Fleabag , time for I’m a celebrity get me out of heeeeeeerr
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