As good as it gets .

[pulisa]

The happy feeling was short lived my mums brother passed away today from covid , it was expected he was old and not in very good health but still upsetting , what goes up must come down

I'm very sorry, Buster. A horrible time for you.

[NoraB]

The happy feeling was short lived my mums brother passed away today from covid , it was expected he was old and not in very good health but still upsetting , what goes up must come down

Didn't see this till P's comment!

So sorry Buster!

[Lolalee1]

Oh Buster so sorry,sending you a big hug from down under xx

[fishman65]

I really am sorry to hear this Buster, thinking of you mate and a big blokey hug from me.

[Buster70]

Thank you for the kind words , I was hoping to post on the covid thread that he’d beat it as he was picking up but he’d just had enough, his wife has been in a care home for some time with dementia, he had pretty much beaten the covid but then said he’d had enough and stopped eating and taking his meds , Sunday he was taken to the care home to be with her but had to be isolated from everyone including his wife , I do take a little comfort that he was in the same house as her when he passed away and his daughters had been able to see him , it’s something that troubles me a lot that I didn’t get to see my mum before she passed away and died in hospital alone , I guess I just carry that guilt with me along with the guilt of bringing my dad home from hospital when he should have stayed there and may have lived if treated .
Nora I also visualise being at the coast when my head is going into overload in the middle of the night , I picture my hands in the sand I can almost feel it , I’ve been down the coast in winter when it’s snowing and gone in the see in wellies .
I still have my dream of getting rid of my small camper and building a big one exactly how I want it then travelling around the uk coastline going to the small coastal towns that no one has heard of and if it’s shite just move on to the next place .
Ive build this motorhome a thousand times in my head , that’s another thing I do in the night building projects in my head from scratch to stop the dark thoughts that are not welcome .
Catch you all later hopefully with something good or at least funny to report x

[AntsyVee]

Sorry to hear this, Buster. Do something nice for yourself today, okay?

[Buster70]

Today I didn’t have a weep in the shower I had a dance and sang instead ( you can imagine I was fully clothed if it helps with that mental image) I’ve put a loud portable speaker in there with a lot of my favourite songs on ( back in the 70s it would have meant a radiogramme the size of a family car and a box of LP’s plus a DJ to change them ) anyway locking the door and turning it up does help with my low mood and doing a crazy Grandad dance that no one will see or would want to see without bleaching their eyes afterwards does give you temporary high in a dark wet January, song choice is paramount, my split personality and age means nothing is out of bounds anymore , I would recommend, The Damned Eloise , Elvis suspicious minds , Elbow A day like this .
Ive tried antidepressants, talking to a man in corduroy trousers and comfortable moccasins who nodded his head a lot as if he actually understood what I was going through because he’d been on a course , bathroom dancing seems to work much better just don’t forget to lock the door and close the window , wouldn’t want to look like a loony .
Today was ok , I’ll try not to think that something dark is waiting to happen , it probably is but ignorance is bliss .
Take care all , and if you can’t take care take diazepam

[Pamplemousse]

I’ve put a loud portable speaker in there with a lot of my favourite songs on ( back in the 70s it would have meant a radiogramme the size of a family car and a box of LP’s plus a DJ to change them )

Hey, the record changer would have done six to eight LPs for you! (says this owner of a radiogram or two)

[NoraB]

Nora I also visualise being at the coast when my head is going into overload in the middle of the night , I picture my hands in the sand I can almost feel it , I’ve been down the coast in winter when it’s snowing and gone in the see in wellies .

I was 'there' this morning Buster.

I still have my dream of getting rid of my small camper and building a big one exactly how I want it then travelling around the uk coastline going to the small coastal towns that no one has heard of and if it’s shite just move on to the next place .

We tried caravanning. Bought a nice 4 birth van for me, Hubs, our son and the lurcher. Been to some lovely places too. However, it turned out that two autistics and a slightly deranged lurcher being confined in a small space with a 6 foot severely neurotypical person - wasn't the best idea? Anyway, our van (that was) is somewhere in Poland and it's cottages all the way for us from now on!

That said, me and the Hubster might revisit the campervan idea in the future, when there is just us two. But there would have to be medication involved. Him or me, not fussed.

[pulisa]

My daughter's special school had a "holiday" caravan at Pagham in Sussex. Parents were welcome to take their children for a Summer"break" there during the holidays....

We tried it once but once was enough! I'm sure you will appreciate that school stuff should never mix with home, Nora!