As good as it gets .

[Carnation]

Another shade Buster, a mucky brown

[Darksky]

Only up to 2x!....I'm up to a 3 I do wonder if they keep getting worse at this rate, I'll probably go blind I suppose I should get them properly tested in an opticians but it's easier to pick up a pair in Asda. Anxiety doesn't like appointments.

Youve picked a perfect week to get away. The weather is just right. No hotter though. Hope you pick up a bargain tomorrow.

[Pkstracy]

Buster so glad to hear from you and that you are getting away.

[Buster70]

Back home now in Snottingham ,a little known fact the Nottingham used to be called Snottingham and is known locally as snot valley as it’s a valley with rivers lakes and is always damp so everyone gets colds and snotty , it’s so good to be back NOT ! , missed the kids so there is that , and not only but also being away made me put on 5lbs in 7 days , it’s just cake and donut fest down the coast .
I didn’t pick up anything from Boston auction that would buy me a holiday home but it was good practice at being normal , I had a lonely walk around Boston like a Billy no mates and stood in the auction crowd guessing it what items would sell for , it’s good tip for people who have these fears to face them when there is no pressure , because I didn’t want to bid on anything it took out the pressure and made it more enjoyable, if you have a problem with supermarkets go when you don’t need anything and have a wonder about then if you feel up to it buy something if not then no pressure and plod on home , I guess it applies to a lot of situations, if driving is a problem sit in the car and start the engine when you don’t need to go anywhere , ok you might be the odd look but these days I don’t think people really notice what’s going on around them ( except anxiety sufferers we notice everything and imagine things that aren’t going on ) , ooh another little known fact is Boston has had a market and auction for over 900 years in the square which coincidentally is the waiting time for a non emergency appointment at my doctors and mental health is never an emergency even though it’s one of the biggest killers . Trust me I’m a Doctor pppfffffffttt .
Ive not felt well since getting back but you can’t earn money from feeling shite or we’d all be millionaires, so been wheeling and dealing, yesterday was Burton on Trent which I like going to , it’s a nice drive and the place is very industrial looking , I think I would have been happier living a hundred years ago , held my own dealing with people and bought a few bits to sell and save for the next trip to the coast .
Random irritations that came to me while away , Daytime tv is junk and the adverts trying to rope me into funeral plans and life insurance for the over 50s don’t make me full of joy like they tell me , most people don’t run to a neighbor with a big happy face to brag how great getting old and dying is going to be , they are in shop queues moaning and competing over the worst illness they have .
Another irritation, 5 weeks to lose 5 lbs 7 days to put it on .
And other , people who screech up at 3.55 to the supermarket sprinting to the door as if they didnt know 4 o’clock would come and the store would shut , 4 o’clock happens twice a day everyday, fu@@wits , and what the emergency a pack of Doritos and bottle of pop .
Last but by no means least ,,,,, Richard Madley , everything about him annoys me , his attitude, his lack of interest or compassion for people he’s interviewing, the fact he just blurts out anything without knowing if what he’s saying is even right, his fake tan , his fake 80s streaked hair , the fact he gets paid good money when they could get a chimpanzee for peanuts .
Still biting my bloody tongue.
oh and and anxiety and depression do bug me ever so slightly .
Hi Tracey hope you are still losing the weight ,I have the self control of a chubby kid in a sweet shop .
Byyeeee

[Darksky]

I think Richard Madeley is very insincere. I tend not to listen to him if I can help it.

while we are in complaining mode, those child proof containers Bold washing pods come in. I spent 10 minutes trying to open a packet, gave up and had to attack it with a pair of scissors. It's safe to say a child wouldn't get in, or maybe I'm just extra stupid.

[Buster70]

Darksky I could complain about a hundred things a day from toasters made too small to fit a slice of bread in to mums who push their kids into the road in pushchairs while on their phones , what phone call is more important than your child’s life , I think my life complaints are just a distraction from my real issues , after a bad nights sleep and early wake up my first thought was about the tree that had fallen across my path in the woods , how dare it cross my path ? Sooo today I took a saw with me on the morning dog walk ( as ya do ) I suppose it could have looked a little weird but then most people who talk to me will have worked out there are a few bits missing from my jigsaw. Happily sawing away at said tree and another dog walker comes along “ that tree still pissing you off then ?” “ yup” , he gives me a hand and the tree is cut , I’ll move it tomorrow .
The other family issue I need to sort out has been brought up today and it now needs sorting out , I still have very little idea on what I can do or how to go about it , if anyone does fancy hearing me out on it pm me but it is delicate and I don’t think I could put it on here , if no one fancies it that’s ok I do understand everyone has their cross to bear , shame there isn’t a good advice shop where you can go pay a fee and get all the answers to life problems , sometimes Google doesn’t have the answer .
Anyway it’s been another long day and I’ve now let my cup of camalpiss tea go cold so I’m off to nuke it back to the correct temperature.
Ps I think Derick has fallen out with me for not taking him on holiday , he hasnt spoken to me since I got back , I hate the silent treatment.
Take care
On seconds thoughts I shouldn’t dump my problems on other people , I’ll suss something out .

[Carnation]

Buster, You sawing that tree is a good testament to your fitness. I hope you made a mental note of that on your breathless days.
Yes! Why doesn't the bread fit in the toaster? It gets stuck sideways and bent out of shape and upright the end gets missed. and why are toasters so expensive? They only do one thing.
Buster, I love the way you keep plodding on and manage to add duties to your day, even if not intentional.
I have to say that I am a little surprised you didn't take Derrick away with you, if for nothing else, a companion to talk too.
I also have to agree with your comments in 'Madeley'. He makes me cringe and fume at the same time. But him and the Mrs used to make good tv viewing, just for the moments 'Judy' would tell him to "shut up".
Your tip about going to places that could set off anxiety and just being there is an excellent idea. I've done that myself. It also proves that it might not be the place, but the task in hand. Feelings of a volcano about to erupt springs to mind.
And don't forget, excitement also brings on the same feelings. Ahh, you probably didn't think a frozen box of food could do that?
Carry on with the good work Buster. x

[Carnation]

Buster, I replied to your pm. x

[Buster70]

Well it’s been another one of those weeks , if there’s nowt on telly and you fancy reading on there might be a point to my ramblings , then again maybe not .
so last week I had the usual big problems life has decided I deserve but I won’t bore you with them , I’ll tell you instead about the niggles that keep you awake in the small hours , last Monday a neighbour mentioned his car was knackered and he could afford to fix it , he’s a bit of a shite and a complete bully towards his family, I was bullied for a while at junior school by the school bully who conveniently lived on my street , at the age of 11 some older lads made me have a fight with him and he lost and I never got bullied again , it stayed with me and I still hate to see people getting bullied in any circumstance, anxiety took away my bottle to get involved in confrontations which plays heavily on my conscience, so like the modern day equivalent of pissing on your territory he left the car outside our house , a couple of days later I parked further up the road and went out in the morning to find my bumper hanging off , my van had been hit by another work van and they’d just drove off , but I had a good idea it was a business across the road , so do I leave it and just fix it myself then beat myself up for not getting into a confrontation? No I’d had enough so I go round to their office and say whats happened , later on the director comes round and apologised and says they will pay for the damage ( first not backing down of the day ) I get a quote and go shopping , we get home and can’t park to unload because the pile of crap car is still there , as we pull up and I’m fuming, he walks out arrogant as ever so I get out and let rip ( not the gassy sort of let rip ) his weak argument is first come first served on parking , I tell him how pissed off I am when I see my damaged van and his car sitting there and he moved it straight away .
now this relates to anxiety in a big way , anxious so avoid the confrontation, angry because you didn’t do or say the right thing , channel the anger at yourself and become depressed, then low self esteem and more depressed, what a lovely little out come if you back down beating yourself up , in my pub drinking days I would quite often get into arguments with several blokes and end up beaten up but it’s not as bad as the beating you give yourself , black eyes and thick lips heal a lot quicker than your conscience, self loathing really hurts .
so I don’t hate myself quite as much today and I have somewhere to park , winner winner chicken dinner.
I was also complimented on my keeping the woods tidy and cutting the fallen tree out of the path by two ladies today , well I say complimented , they hinted I talk to trees and must be mental , possibly because I said everyday I climbed over the tree I said to it “youre f**king going tomorrow “ as I walked by the two halves of the tree in my checked shirt and cap the monty python song I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok came into my head , I think I may humm it each time I walk by it makes me chuckle .
sometimes you have to do things that make your anxiety worse in the short term to save yourself in the long term , FACT ! or not what ever floats your boat .
Take care peeps .

[Elen]

Well done you. I am terrible for fleeing from confrontation and know exactly what you mean about beating yourself up over it.

Does talking to trees mean that you are mad? What about plants and insects?

Who am I kidding I am as mad as a box of frogs, no use denying it.