As good as it gets .

[Buster70]

Thanks guys , if only it were Buster time now ( Remember Hammer time ? Der der du de dum de dum , cant touch this ) ,
didnt know at the time but the headache at the funeral was the start of the lurgy, we’ve both been very ill since , really bad cough ( stuff coming up out of my lungs that wasn’t of this earth ) shivers so bad my teeth were chattering and all over aches , I’m now at the tickley cough stage that won’t let me sleep or lay down , this is the worst bit because of my fear of choking not to mention my asthma, partner is just as bad , and still my daughters are pestering us to do things for them meaning we’ve both had to go out when we really don’t want to , I was so close to losing it with them today and saying f**k off and leave us alone , when they need help we drop everything night and day , when we need it they don’t have time .
I must admit I’ve been very scared at night thinking I’ll have an asthma attack with the cough .
Got my flu jab in the morning, I suppose that is something to look forward to , not sure if I should even be having it right now , I don’t think this is flu we have just flu like .
Anyway not wanting to sound like it’s all bad and I’m a moaning old fecker so I’ll end with a bit of good luck I had today , believe it or not I opened a bag of salt and shake crisps today and their were not one but two bags of salt , how lucky is that ? I’m not sure what I’ll shake the other salt on yet I don’t want to just blow it .
You should probably disinfect your hands after reading this , don’t want to spread germs .

[Carnation]

I got the lurgy too Buster same symptoms.
I not sure if it's a good idea to have the flu jab when you are already ill and your body is busy fighting that. Best to check with Docs.
The lurgy seems to be all over at the moment, must be what the wind blew from overseas.

[Buster70]

Doh!!! Just read this , had the jab this morning, to be honest it’s not even my biggest problem right now , me and partner have had a big bust up about the stoopid I did three weeks ago , I know I got it wrong and she’s hurt by what I said but she can’t forgive me and I don’t know what to do to put it right , on a positive note the lurgy and flu jab will probably kill me anyway .

[Buster70]

Ok so I need to offload and as I have no one else I can confide in , this place is getting both barrels , flick to another thread if you don’t want to be depressed by my rant .
Lets start with the “ The stoopid “ I did a few weeks back , some might say it was me sabotaging being happy because I look for doom when things are looking up , the day before we went on holiday a parcel guy came round , he’s at are house a lot because we buy online, he’s very friendly with my partner and she is back , on this day he sent her a few texts about a parcel he said he’d forgotten to deliver and said he’d bring it on his way home , he did this and my partner gave him some chocolates as a thank you , I didn’t know she had but my grandson mentioned it , so later on my mind goes into a whirlwind and imagines there is something going on , unable to control my thoughts I asked her , she said I was being ridiculous but the thoughts wouldn’t go away , it cast a shadow over what could have been a great holiday we both needed . We did get on and had some nice time away .
since getting home she has been very distant towards me and has said she feels hurt by what I’ve suggested, I keep being nice and buying her gifts and had flowers sent , I can see now I was being stupid my paranoid mind had made it up for something to worry about , I’m much worse for flirting with other women and women flirting with me while I’m out and about but she trusts me .
So things haven’t been great and she understandably needs time to forgive me which I know I can’t push , we’ve both been ill for about ten days and where as my cough / cold have near enough gone hers turned into pneumonia again , she’s been on antibiotics for a week and had an X-ray last week , today she had another appointment at the docs and came out crying , the doc had looked at her X-ray and said she has a nodule on one lung that needs investigating, as usual I have gone straight to panic worst case scenario mode , I don’t need to say what I’m thinking , it could be to do with her pneumonia or the fact she’s had it so many times , I don’t really know much about lung nodules and the doc couldn’t say much until it’s been checked with another X-ray in two weeks .
So the worry I had has been replaced with a bigger one , I know the advice I would give others in this position not to right her off when I’ve done it so many times before unnecessarily , it’s not helped that we buried my cousin last week and found out an old friend we both knew died at the weekend .
Life is too bloody fragile and so is my mental state .
Cheers for reading .

[fishman65]

Buster, on the subject of lung nodules. My Dad had two shadows on his lungs last year that were revealed by X-ray. My anxiety went through the roof thinking the worst but they turned out to be inflammation. This was after the GP had suggested nodules. I know this probably isn't helping, I would be thinking the same as you are now.

On the other issue, I apologise if my advice steered you in the wrong direction. What happened with myself and Mrs F last year has probably made me cynical and perhaps colours my interaction with others. I'm wishing you a positive outcome in both respects, that goes without saying.

[Carnation]

Buster, I also gave you my advice and wisdom, for what it's worth by PM concerning the first issue.
The second issue........
I always suffer badly after a cold /virus, I actually frighten people with my horrendous cough which seems to take forever to go. As for the X Ray, I don't know too much about nodules, that's something that has to be checked out, but it's generally not serious if it's not a rushed referral.
With that in mind, I would presume your partner's thoughts and priority is that and not the issue over the postman.
If it was me, support with her current situation would be more appreciative than apologies for overreacting to what you thought was an affair.
That's just my personal opinion.

[Darksky]

Give her time Buster. It will take time, it's obviously gone deep. What's happening now will help to wash it away. She's obviously frightened now, so stick by her side. You are like me, I don't have HA for myself but I do jump to dreadful scenarios when someone I love gets ill.

regarding nodules. I think most of them are harmless caused by inflamation and you said yourself she's had pneumonia. Try to stay positive...yeah I know, easier said than done.

[Buster70]

Thanks guys , I know worrying changes nothing , she first had heart and lung problems after our daughter was born 28 years ago so you’d think I’d be used to it by now but it only gets worse as we get older , when you’re young you think you’re immortal and will never get seriously ill , when you’ve lost a few people you become very aware of your mortality.
I did appreciate you’re thoughts fish and carnation on my other situation, eventually I had to accept even if there was something it was on his part not hers and I couldn’t keep thinking it when he still comes to our house a lot while I’m out , I think I have trust issue brought on by past events .
I hate not knowing what medical terms mean it just makes you think the worst , she did have a small mass removed about two years ago which was benign, like darksky I worry more about others than myself , I think that stems from not being in control, anxiety does make us bloody control freaks eh ?
Anyway having got over the lurgy and a bad back for three days I’ve now tensed up my back and chest so much I’m in agony all the live long day , suppose it keeps my mind occupied.
Thanks , catch up later .

[Buster70]

Derrick was on duty last night keeping away the trick or treaters, felt crap but made the effort , fireworks tonight scaring the crap out of my old dog .

[Carnation]

Buster,

What a good job you made of Kevin, I mean Derrick

It's amazing what we can still do when we don't feel like doing anything at all.
Keep going on that 'road to nowhere', love that song.