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Thread: As good as it gets .

  1. #401
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    964

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Hi Buster, it's about time I dragged myself away from panicking over coronavirus and gave you a bit of support instead. Crikey your situation sounds like a nightmare and reminds me of how things were here in the not so distant past. Feeling like your house is not your own. I really think you bend over backwards to keep others happy at the expense of your own happiness. Trying to carry all the cares of your family on your own back really isn't fair on you, but often when someone is so selfless as yourself, that person ends up feeling as though other's well being is their responsibility. It isn't though, there is only so much you can do without slipping below the surface. You clearly do more than your fair share, people around you need to start giving back.

    That might sound harsh and I know it isn't easy when your conscience gets the better of you. I should probably start taking my own advice, but you having those dark thoughts is concerning to me and no doubt to anyone else reading this thread who knows you. Please stay safe buddy and know you're not alone.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  2. #402
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    964

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Quote Originally Posted by Darksky View Post
    If not get round to that petrol station that men run to when they've forgotten important dates
    You know us too well Darksky!!
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  3. #403
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,661

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Thanks ladies, going out for a drive was probably the best thing or things would have escalated, I can’t understand why she’d rather carry it on than let it go and go somewhere she’d be happy but this is what happens no amount of apologising will make it pass any quicker , it was too good to be true my daughter was looking after the dogs for the first time ever probably because we helped her so much with her losing the dog at Christmas, it was a good opportunity to spend some time together and the weather wouldn’t bother us , being in a house with heating and a storm outside would be bliss we still haven’t got any heating upstairs.
    I do wish I had someone to talk to at times to put things in perspective, something you two have done tonight , with anxiety you stub your toe and it feels like it might be the start of the apocalypse.
    Thanks for the kind words , better find something to knock me out it’s half two and I can’t sleep .
    ps , flowers and card were already hid but I think they’d be a waste of time now .

  4. #404
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    9,074

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Why not go down to the coast by yourself if she is still in a huff with you for not giving her 100% attention? Might be a wake up call for her? And you would get some sense of self-worth back.

    Just think about it..Why shouldn't you because she can't hold you to ransom all the time and dangle the suicide card at you when you object to anything?

  5. #405
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,661

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Ok so like a bad episode of Eastenders you may be wondering where things have gone over the weekend or maybe you could give a hoot , my partner can be a nightmare but she can also be warm , loving , selfless and sexy thats why I always hang around for the good side but as with most people you have to take the rough with the smooth me included, Shane McGowan said of fairytale of New York if you love someone you will also hate them at times .
    So my weekend , I convinced her that here or there could be shite so it might as well be there where we like being , we went with nothing to lose and all went well nice room with a Sea view , she was back to herself , I think I’d burnt out my anxiety quota so I actually felt quite good , dealing with people , eating out , and on the east coast no storm not even rain despite a random gloomy old man trying to convince me the end of the world was nigh , on the whole a good weekend .
    Now we get to today , started with a b&b fried breakfast ( zero anxiety) went to see the sea , then set off home , nearly a hundred miles in pissing down rain with flood water on the roads ( WTF ) we really escaped it down there , so it gets worse and worse and eventually some roads are closed but what the hell im feeling good , when others turn around I drove up pavements on the wrong side of the road to keep out of the deep water , we had to leave the closed dual carriageway to go cross country which added a couple of hours and still I wasn’t daunted, singing away thinking worst case we get stranded but we are in a van and have shopping so not the worst place to be .
    we got back and picked up the dogs and while walking them the old one pooped with blood in it , didn’t panic as she looks ok so see how she is tomorrow.
    Back home my daughter comes round while we are unpacking, I notice her eyes are red and ask are you ok she puts her arm around me and starts crying ( we are not a huggy family ) I did panic a bit at this point asking what’s wrong instantly thinking worst case maybe dead boyfriend in the shed or she’s dying , what it actually was is our old friend anxiety, she said shes felt weird all weekend , feeling like everything is not real and she’s about to die , I sit her down and say calmly you’re breathing and look ok so you’re not dying now breathe in through your nose and out through you’re mouth like you’re whistling, I explained calmly what she was experiencing and say “you must feel bad if you’ve given me a hug when no f**ker has died “ it raised smile and I pointed out she’d stopped over breathing and was still alive .
    Funny how reaching what feels like rock bottom can give you a little confidence, wether they like it or not they f**king well need me and sometimes I’m actually right .
    There are days you cant cope and days you can take it in you’re stride , Friday was the former today was the later.
    Thanks for the advice and support ladies , gents and fish , I need to give a bit back to this site which I will when things pick up .

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