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  1. #421
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,737

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Buster, I can't help thinking you shouldn't have moved out. Not because of the Covid19, but because this is a familiar pattern in your household, but this time it's under incredibly difficult circumstances. Do you think you just give in to a bad situation letting your partner win? Why could you not be in separate rooms while the air calmed down? I think your partner left last time and that wasn't that long ago. And then somehow you manage to make up your differences. As this happens so often I can't see why the both of you just sleep on it for a day or two until you get back to that point again. And as it does happen alot, the thought of a sofa bed springs to mind.
    I also can't help thinking whether you will be still doing this in 10 or even 20 years time.
    I'm just being truthful Buster. Unless the pattern changes, your situation won't either. Your partner knows the game and you just move the pieces to accommodate her letting her win. Think of you and your health buddy. x

  2. #422
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,689

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Hi , I know itís all wrong but when things are good it really is good fun and passionate but being the same house things escalate so quickly to a point where she will hurt herself and right now her being in hospital would be very bad .
    Its very hard to talk to her when sheís feeling hurt and she canít let go of things like I can , sheís done some really horrible things to me but I never bring them up , I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her .
    You guys must get sick of reading about my life knowing I will be saying it again before long , I shouldnít put it on here but I really donít have a soul I could confide in , itís hard enough going though each day hiding what a nutcase I am , Iím going out a fair bit but this lockdown is like being in a cage for me not being able to get out of the area , I should be walking my dogs along the beach this weekend but no just sat alone watching Ant and freakin Dec , Iím desperately missing hugs from my grandkids.
    Pulisa if I had to deal with your problems I think my head would actually explode I really do .
    Maybe itís time for change ( but we donít like change do we ) catch you later.
    Just realised the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different outcome , maybe Iíve finally gone insane and donít know , youíre always the last to know when youíve gone nuts .

  3. #423
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,689

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Hi all , until today I’ve kept my head above water keeping busy and wearing myself out so as not to overthink the situation we are in , so for the last week my partner has had chest pain and sore throat which has got gradually worse ( she has been over doing it ) yesterday she felt very weak and sick , later on she was vomiting and went to bed , I be come back this morning from walking the dogs to her in tears and she said she has Covid , she said the same thing about my daughter and grandson which turned out to be guessing because they weren’t well , so what’s has happened is the doctors rang because of her long term heart and lung issues and she told them how she was , they have said as she’s showing symptoms she must assume she has it and self isolate, I freaked a bit not knowing what this meant and what we needed to do , now she’s gone mad at me for not feeling for her and worrying about myself which is not true I’m worried about all of us as my daughter has been coming over , since this started I’ve avoided as much contact with people as possible but she has gone to the shops every couple of days and had lots of parcels delivered, I may have been overreacting with hand washing and not wanting to go to the shops but the friction it caused it seemed easier to just let her go as it’s her choice and she sees me as controlling.
    I now don’t know what to do , I have asthma so I’m at risk as well as her , the doc said self isolate for 14 days, trying not to freak but in my mind I’ve thought this would come since the start , she’s now mega pissed off at me for me being anxious , I feel like I’m in a living hell and the thought of ending my life just to stop all this shite is never far from my mind . Sorry for the depressing rant .

  4. #424
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,737

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Sorry Buster, I missed your last post for some reason.
    In my opinion a lot of people will think they have the signs of the coronavirus. With hay-fever upon us, sunbathing in high UV levels and upset tummies and running to the loo from stress and worry.
    The NHS have to take precautions and will note any symptom as coronavirus.
    Of course it is possible, but with Lock-down and not being key workers, it's likely your partner doesn't have it.
    Once the seed has been planted though, it certainly will haunt you.

  5. #425
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    9,684

    Re: As good as it gets .

    If your daughter has been coming over then she's probably brought her bug with her and passed it on to your partner? Doctors will just be cautious and tell everyone with vague symptoms to self-isolate. Will you be able to stay indoors for 14 days?

  6. #426
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    1,155

    Re: As good as it gets .

    I'm really sorry to hear this Buster. Though as has been said above, doctors will tell you to self isolate as its their default setting in the current situation, it doesn't mean its CV though. I really think the fear of this virus may be more harmful than the virus itself. Hang in there buddy.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

  7. #427
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,737

    Re: As good as it gets .

    I missed that bit about your daughter coming over Buster.
    Why would she do that if we are in Lock-down?
    Especially as you and your partner are high risk people.

  8. #428
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1,689

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Well today got a whole lot worse , my daughter lives alone and was furloughed weeks ago so her coming to our house wasn’t a great risk she hasn’t been in contact with anyone but us , with my partner being ill and having to go to get shopping and walk the dogs I forgot a letter came for my daughter, she picked it up later then came over in tears , she had an mri a few weeks ago because she’s had problems with her balance and eyesight , the letter is a bit confusing because it’s written by a foreign consultant, they have found lesions on her brain and spine and want to do more tests for ms , I didn’t understand some of the medical terms nor did she but it was to do with demyelination, she’s in bits and has rang her doctors but they said the letter was a bit vague , I’ve tried to be strong for her and pick out the positive words on the letter but it does say lesions and inflammation on the cervical area of the spine .
    I don’t want to make this about me because they do need me but I’m hanging by a thread , I’ve come to the shed to write this so they don’t see me cry , this isolation is making it worse because I can’t talk to anyone , I want my daughter to move back in with us for a while but now isn’t a good time .
    I really don’t know what to do or how to deal with any of it , I don’t think anyone can help right now .
    Thank you for your replies . X

  9. #429
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6,737

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Sorry about your news Buster.
    Maybe your daughter should have been with you from the start taking into consideration her attempt and vulnerability.
    My friend, you can only take everything one step at a time.
    The country, the world, families are in a state, there's pain, hurt and suffering. It's hard, it's very hard, but you and your family are survivors. x
    Last edited by Carnation; 24-04-20 at 00:34.

  10. #430
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    1,155

    Re: As good as it gets .

    Buster I agree with what Carnation has said. You can only do what is humanly possible, you are not superman. I often feel you are trying to hold your family together by yourself. But you can only do so much before you collapse under the weight of all that responsibility. I should take my own advice because very often I'm the same, I can see a lot of your nature in myself. My Dad is isolated and been going downhill these last two months, this with the CV pandemic is making bad situations worse. However, You are indeed as Carnation stated, a family of survivors.

    Try and take some time out for yourself buddy and know that you and yours are in my thoughts.
    __________________
    'It was a wedding ring, destined to be found in a cheap hotel, lost in a kitchen sink, or thrown in a wishing well' - Marillion, Clutching at Straws, 1987

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